preparing for back to school

Quick update...

I went and saw his teacher yesterday so i could update him before he started back today.

The school have been great, he is allowed to use the computer to write, moved hi  to a quiet desk, quiet table at lunch & are taking on board everything i have told them. He will have a designated person to speak to at breaktime if he needs to.

His teacher said all went well today & no obvious problems.

My son has now told me on the way home that during lunch 3 kids called him a thick retard,i will be talking to his teacher again in the morning & will tell him of this and who they were.

Why cant life be simple ?

It's a misnomer that high-functioning children don't need statementing.  My 8yo has a statement and she has HFA and was tested to have the verbal abilities of a 14-18 year old.

School is about more than the academics.  If a child is having emotional problems, social problems and has sensory issues that all impacts their ability to learn and to be fully immersed in the curriculum.

As a parent you can apply direct to the council yourself for a statement.  Look on www.ipsea.org.uk.  Bear in mind that it is getting harder and harder to get statements.  Our LA admitted that they discourage schools (don't let them discourage you!) and try to get the schools to use School Action or School action Plus where they can.  It's worth trying, if you are unsuccessful you can appeal.   If ultimately it fails and your son is not already on School Action or School Action Plus, you can ask for one of those from the school.

hi, longman

thanks for the reply- what you have said makes alot of sense.

during the holidays ive had the ability to watch him in different situations & guage his reaction to them- particularly now we know what we are dealing with.

sensory overload is a massive problem, i had originaly though it was just noise he had trouble coping with, but having taken the time to realy look at situations, its also to do with how busy places are- if people are moving around alot he just cant cope, gets very stressed, then will get angry if hes not in a 1 - 1 situation.

i dont know how to get the school to understand and help with that?

he does have difficulty resolving things & the head teacher has commented that when he has to see her to explain certain behaviour/ fights etc, that the more he talks about what has happened- the bigger a deal it seems to be to him & in his head it escalates- if that makes sense?

she has reached a point where she cuts him short to try and stop him overthinking it, i dont know if thats a good thing or not?

for the last 2 years in school he has basicaly been seen as a trouble maker with mentle health issues, a hard lable to escape.

socialy he seems scared of things- we went to the park last week & he was fine with going there, when we arrived there were 6 kids from his class, hes been ok with some of them, but the fact they were there made him turn around & want to go. we stayed because of his sister, but he wouldnt talk to them while we were there and blanked them.

he has been so much more relaxed & better behaved from being away from school this summer, but for the last 2 weeks his anxiety levels are creeping up, crying at night, tummy aches etc all at the idea of going back to school.

 he has also started to suffer with seperation anxiety again, he has always had it to some degree, but ive noticed it becoming worse lately, even crying when ive left him at a grandparents house for 2 hours.

ive ordered the martian in the playground book  & will look to see if i can get the other you recomended.anything to help the school understand.

Thanks stranger ,

for the input- the school have  limited funds & seem to want to wait & see what occupational health think he may need, hopefully we will be seen before long.

i think if he was statmented they would offer him all the support under the sun, but because he doesnt need statementing & is a high achiever the help isnt an option.

anyway, thanks again to you both for the replys, it means alot.

If his handwriting is that bad, can you speak to senco about either a note taker / learner support assistant or tablet / laptop?

Sensory overload is a really important issue (and I wish the "experts" would take this seriously, rather than claiming, as in the working group for the NICE guidelines, that avoiding crowds falls under repetitive behaviour). Complex noise, movement, smells, visual experiences can all be uncomfortable, even painful, depending on severity of symptoms.

Don't force socialising just on your belief it will help. He may be having real difficulty reading social situations and responding correctly (in the way his peers expect). More socialising may not do much good, but exploration of what kinds of socialising he can manage and where there are real poroblems might help him structure social encounters.

See if you can buy or borrow a copy of Clare Sainsbury's "Martian in the Playground - understanding the schoolchild with Asperger's syndrome" (Lucky Duck Publishing 2000). It is a treasure trove of information about the classroom and the dining hall and playground situations.

Another book that may help, if he is taking on fights, is Nick Dubin "Asperger Syndrome and Bullying - Strategies and Solutions" (Jessica Kingsley Publ 2007). AS kids normally get bullied because they are different, but they can also end up as the bullies, and there is useful content here regarding what you describe.

He is likely to have difficulty resolving issues which instead he will keep going over in his head. Possibly if you can get him to talk freely about issues worrying him (which wont be easy) you might be able to reduce his anxiety and lighten the streess. But don't use phrases like "lots of people have that problem" or "you'll grow out of it" because it isn't helpful or true.

Fine and coarse motor skills are an issue and affect hand writing.

Good luck with the next school year.