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preparing for back to school

doodlebugs

hi everyone,

this is my first post on here & it looks like it may be a long one -sorry!

im a mum of 2, my 9 yr old son was diagnosed with autism in june - high end/aspergers.

its been a 2 year struggle to get to this point, ed psych didnt think he would get diagnosed, school didnt think he would either!!

 

anyways, he struggles socialy at school- he says he loves being in class learning, but hates the rest of it.

he goes to a small 60-70 pupil mainstream school & is achieving very well.

he has had many,many run ins with other kids- full on fights,kicking,punching, wrestling, name calling etc etc. he is usualy the main cause of fights as he wont let things go, if someone has wronged him ( in his eyes) he needs to get revenge.

i think half the problem is noise levels & he does complain about dinner hall being too noisy & sometimes classroom, breaktimes are also noisy & busy.

the school havnt realy had any suggestions about how to help him deal with these situations, other than to make him stay in ,missing breaks when he starts to get angry or annoy others- not realy helpfull to make him miss more time socialising!

he is now starting to worry about going back to school, he worrys about leaving me - always had a sort of seperation anxiety, he worrys about his class- same teacher,same room but will be sharing it with year 6 -about 10 kids. basicaly he worrys about the whole time there.

i know  that his behaviour is going to take a major dip when he starts back- the stress of school makes him so angry that home life can be hell to put up with.

he also has hypermobility - just diagnosed & his writing is appaling- the school have always nagged him to improve & do better but because of it he couldnt. he is waiting to see occupational health for an assesment but no idea how long that will take.

so, clever people that have gone through similar- any suggestions i can give to the school to help him? they seem to want me to come up with the answers to the problems.

also any ideas on helping him & reducing his stress levels?

many thanks in advance x

 

Parents

  • Sensory overload is a really important issue (and I wish the "experts" would take this seriously, rather than claiming, as in the working group for the NICE guidelines, that avoiding crowds falls under repetitive behaviour). Complex noise, movement, smells, visual experiences can all be uncomfortable, even painful, depending on severity of symptoms.

    Don't force socialising just on your belief it will help. He may be having real difficulty reading social situations and responding correctly (in the way his peers expect). More socialising may not do much good, but exploration of what kinds of socialising he can manage and where there are real poroblems might help him structure social encounters.

    See if you can buy or borrow a copy of Clare Sainsbury's "Martian in the Playground - understanding the schoolchild with Asperger's syndrome" (Lucky Duck Publishing 2000). It is a treasure trove of information about the classroom and the dining hall and playground situations.

    Another book that may help, if he is taking on fights, is Nick Dubin "Asperger Syndrome and Bullying - Strategies and Solutions" (Jessica Kingsley Publ 2007). AS kids normally get bullied because they are different, but they can also end up as the bullies, and there is useful content here regarding what you describe.

    He is likely to have difficulty resolving issues which instead he will keep going over in his head. Possibly if you can get him to talk freely about issues worrying him (which wont be easy) you might be able to reduce his anxiety and lighten the streess. But don't use phrases like "lots of people have that problem" or "you'll grow out of it" because it isn't helpful or true.

    Fine and coarse motor skills are an issue and affect hand writing.

    Good luck with the next school year. 

Reply

  • Sensory overload is a really important issue (and I wish the "experts" would take this seriously, rather than claiming, as in the working group for the NICE guidelines, that avoiding crowds falls under repetitive behaviour). Complex noise, movement, smells, visual experiences can all be uncomfortable, even painful, depending on severity of symptoms.

    Don't force socialising just on your belief it will help. He may be having real difficulty reading social situations and responding correctly (in the way his peers expect). More socialising may not do much good, but exploration of what kinds of socialising he can manage and where there are real poroblems might help him structure social encounters.

    See if you can buy or borrow a copy of Clare Sainsbury's "Martian in the Playground - understanding the schoolchild with Asperger's syndrome" (Lucky Duck Publishing 2000). It is a treasure trove of information about the classroom and the dining hall and playground situations.

    Another book that may help, if he is taking on fights, is Nick Dubin "Asperger Syndrome and Bullying - Strategies and Solutions" (Jessica Kingsley Publ 2007). AS kids normally get bullied because they are different, but they can also end up as the bullies, and there is useful content here regarding what you describe.

    He is likely to have difficulty resolving issues which instead he will keep going over in his head. Possibly if you can get him to talk freely about issues worrying him (which wont be easy) you might be able to reduce his anxiety and lighten the streess. But don't use phrases like "lots of people have that problem" or "you'll grow out of it" because it isn't helpful or true.

    Fine and coarse motor skills are an issue and affect hand writing.

    Good luck with the next school year. 

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