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useless SENCO please help!

Emma Jayne

Hi all,

I have an 8 year old son with Aspergers diagnosis, he has recently (last night) discovered about his diagnosis and was very positive about it, he said it explains alot to him as to why hes abit different and why he struggles with certin things. Hes usually very anxious going into school yet this morning he went in very well knowing he was overcoming his anxieties he was very proud of himself.

However...... when i picked him up he was very upset and distressed as the senco had told him NO he doesnt have Autism and she didnt want to hear that again. he explained to her that we'd told him and we watched a programme together the night before and she dismissed him. He came out of school asking why we would lie to him!! i demanded to see her and had a meeting with her and the headteacher to which she apologised as she misunderstood what he had said. i also spoke to her about an incident that happened last week where DS was very distressed when i dropped him off at school that morning he was scared and angry and hid behind a curtain in her classroom and she shouted at him to come out and told him not to dare try this with her.

i am at my wits end, he only started this school 7 weeks ago, she didnt even see him until his 3rd week in the school, he is terrified of her and the only things that have been put in place for him is the things ive told his class teacher he needs, i.e feelings fan, reassurance when he becomes anxious and the t.a meets him at the door to take him into class. she has put nothing at all into place for him, she doesnt seem the slightest bit interested in his needs or emotions.

He has already said he never wants to see her again and hes not going into school tomorrow. i really feel that all our hard work has been crushed by what shes done. i have no faith in her ability to help my son and i really dont know what to do.

thanks or reading Emma x

  • I just get so sick of this sort of dismissiveness. Can you imagine it happening if your kid was in a wheelchair, or blind? Of course it wouldn't. In my experience, pussyfooting just doesn't work with this sort of dismissive disinterest. I'm about to have a forum rant about my daughter being marginalised yet again at a school production, so not in the right frame of mind for moderation. But I've found the more you pick them up and voice concern/complaint about their shabbiness, the more cautious they are about giving you short shrift. Yes, you won't be top of the teacher's Christmas card list, but I've grown a thick hide over the years in the best interests of my daughter. So,the very next time you aren't happy, ask for details of the SEN governor and write a long, detailed letter of complaint, ask for a meeting to discuss and cc the head teacher, ed psych, specialist teacher and anyone else who may have an influential opinion.  I've had to appeal twice to get my daughter a statement worth having, written to the senco during school holidays to insist on meetings to ensure she was going to be timely in putting provision in place, generally questioned, coaxed, harangued and made it quite clear at her secondary school transition meeting I would not find it acceptable if my daughter didn't get speech therapy recommended. I have already had one solicitous invite to Big School to ask if I'm happy with their proposed approach. Would I have had that if I wasn't already on my second tribunal appeal...? Doubt it somehow. So let's stop apologising for our kids and our existence - and hold this appalling level of service to proper account. Good luck - and don't take it lying down...!

  • thanks mum of 3, she has copies of all reports, assessments and diagnostic results etc, i have told them he has took a disliking to her and she know as he wont go anywhere near her.

    She asked to speak to me this morning and she was very upset, she apologised and admitted she had really messed up!! so for now all we can do is wait for September to come and hope they put all the things in place they have promised. I just really hope now they manage to build his trust of her up again and hopefully move forward in September.

    Its so hard, our Children are so important to us it should not be this difficult for them to get the support they need in school, i just want him to be happy.

    Emma x