Don't know where to turn

omg my son has also got a knife out of the kitchen draw and threatened to kill himself when he was 8 cos i wanted to confiscate his playstation and wrote notes saying he is a freak and deserves to be bullied and die i went to the drs about it and the school , the school did nothing i as discusted and the dr refered him to camhs but they would not asses him as they didnt think he fit the criteria for an assessment !! thank god i got the school nurse involved he is in the process of being assessed his paed thinks he has ASD and ADD

thank u for yr help will find out about CBT, sounds like it might help, i need him to be able to open up as he cant explain him self properly i try really hard to try and interpret what he means as he he speaks in a kind of code for example when hes hot he says hes itchy and when hes cold he says his skin has gone tight so as long as the therapist can understand what hes trying to say we should get somewhere. 

FrustratedMummi said:

Hi this is my first post and I've not really introduced myself or anything but here is a short backstory.

I'm a single mum, I have aspergers and my son has high dependancy autism. He was diagnosed via ADOS-G through CAHMS with the assistant of SALT, EP, OT the whole nine yards. He has an SEN for 20 hours from the local authority and some of the major concerns with him involve self harming and a non-stop fascination with both the home computer and failing and death. He has an older sister who is currently being reassessed for ASD.

Anyway we've all been sick with the stomach flu the past week and I'm still recovering but this morning I woke up still feeling sick as a dog to my kids arguing over the home computer. I told them both to go clean their room and do something productive as opposed to arguing - My daughter agreed, my son protested. I told him I would revoke his access to the computer if he didn't clean his room. (Still trying to wake up) I see my son walk into the living room from the kitchen with a knife in his hands (he's 6 years old) I looked right at him and he realised I was fully awake and suddenly ran off into the kitchen and threw the knife back in the drawer. When I asked him what was in his hands he said he was going to kill himself because his life was over, but I cannot help getting a nasty feeling had I not been fully awake it would been aimed at someone else.

Either scenario is alarming at best and I am deeply distressed and do not know what to do or where to turn. Do I inform his school? Do I inform his doctor? Do I inform anyone and who? and other than locking all my knives and sharp objects away what the hell do I do now?

This little boy who is so sweet it's untrue has got me absolutely terrified not just for him but for myself and my daughter.

I've only just seen your message as someone posted on the thread and you replied.

I am in a similar position to you.  I also have Asperger's a youngest child with a diagnosis of autism and my eldest due to be reassessed.  Although I am not a single parent I may as well be as my husband works 7 days a week and I have dealt with everything alone.

My youngest (8) also has a very negative thinking pattern (although it's her older sister who is obsessed with the PC and gets hysterical and panicky if she's been naughty and I tell her she can't go on) and has gone to get knives before and said she may as well be dead.

So your situation is so similar.  I always keep the sharp knives up high in a cupboard anyway so only normal eating knives are in the drawer.  However I have literally had to empty the whole cutlery drawer and the scissors and put them up high when she's started saying she was going to get a knife to cut herself.

I have been asking for therapy for my 8yo, told SS that she has threatened to kill herself and still nothing has been forthcoming.  If you can afford it, you might want to think about getting private therapy for your son as otherwise you may end up waiting like us, CAMHS are useless.

Firstly I would go to your GP - Since he is 17 you can still make appointments on his behalf.

I think probably one of the best things in these situations is to request a form of therapy called CBT (Cognative Behaviour Therapy) it is alot of work but requesting or asking about CBT with your GP maybe a good start. On top of that make it extremely clear to your GP that you are not happy with the options you've been given and you want more advice on other alternatives to the statement "Just get used to it"

While it is true that routine is important for anyone with ASD and sometimes high stress is a reaction to new surroundings or a disruption in the familiar it is also important to talk to your son.

Ask him what he dislikes, ask him to be specific, try to understand on his level what specifically he dislikes about these people, are they too loud, do they violate his personal bubble. Does he want or feel like he needs help to cope. If so what help is he looking for? Communication will be essential. Also I highly recommend a book called "The reason I jump" by Naoki Higashida it is an explanation of Autism and it's effects and reasons behind these effects written by an autistic boy from Japan and translated in English. The BBC did a podcast about it not so long ago and it was so touching but it has also helped me dramatically and given me so many tools to use with my son now who is coming along in leaps and bounds.

Above all you know what is best for your son, don't let anyone fob you off... It's gonna be exhausting but if you feel something is right then fight for it and for him. You have more rights than you think.

hi this is my first time ever on a forum im really struggling to know what to do! my 17 yr old son has autism and dyspraxia which was only diagnosed 2yrs ago after a long battle.He does not have a statement as the authorities didnt think it was appropriate at 15 he has just started college and is finding it very stressfull eg new place new people new course etc he has very low self esteem and struggles to explain his feelings when he came home yesterday he said he hated the people in his class they wernt his type of people and wasnt going back! and then went on to have a full blown panic attack which he has never had before and i hope never will again i have spoke to his senco and she just thinks he needs to get used to his new surroundings and will be fine and will keep an eye on him and has informed his tutor to do the same i dont feel this is enough. can any one give me advice on how to help him cope with social surroundings and any groups he could attend with like minded people to get him meeting new people? 

Hi - this must have been + continue to be a big shock to you.  I really don't know what to say apart from keeping knives away from him + being vigilant which I'm sure you've already thought of.  It's disturbing he talks about death at such a young age so whether contacting camhs might be worthwhile?  You can ask their opinion on what next steps you might take following this incident.  I presume you've explained how dangerous knives are.  I'd also re-examine what may have triggered that behaviour so hopefully it won't repeat itself.  I hope you can all get over this.  It would have shaken me up.