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Don't know where to turn

FrustratedMummi

Hi this is my first post and I've not really introduced myself or anything but here is a short backstory.

I'm a single mum, I have aspergers and my son has high dependancy autism. He was diagnosed via ADOS-G through CAHMS with the assistant of SALT, EP, OT the whole nine yards. He has an SEN for 20 hours from the local authority and some of the major concerns with him involve self harming and a non-stop fascination with both the home computer and failing and death. He has an older sister who is currently being reassessed for ASD.

Anyway we've all been sick with the stomach flu the past week and I'm still recovering but this morning I woke up still feeling sick as a dog to my kids arguing over the home computer. I told them both to go clean their room and do something productive as opposed to arguing - My daughter agreed, my son protested. I told him I would revoke his access to the computer if he didn't clean his room. (Still trying to wake up) I see my son walk into the living room from the kitchen with a knife in his hands (he's 6 years old) I looked right at him and he realised I was fully awake and suddenly ran off into the kitchen and threw the knife back in the drawer. When I asked him what was in his hands he said he was going to kill himself because his life was over, but I cannot help getting a nasty feeling had I not been fully awake it would been aimed at someone else.

Either scenario is alarming at best and I am deeply distressed and do not know what to do or where to turn. Do I inform his school? Do I inform his doctor? Do I inform anyone and who? and other than locking all my knives and sharp objects away what the hell do I do now?

This little boy who is so sweet it's untrue has got me absolutely terrified not just for him but for myself and my daughter.

Parents

  • Firstly I would go to your GP - Since he is 17 you can still make appointments on his behalf.

    I think probably one of the best things in these situations is to request a form of therapy called CBT (Cognative Behaviour Therapy) it is alot of work but requesting or asking about CBT with your GP maybe a good start. On top of that make it extremely clear to your GP that you are not happy with the options you've been given and you want more advice on other alternatives to the statement "Just get used to it"

    While it is true that routine is important for anyone with ASD and sometimes high stress is a reaction to new surroundings or a disruption in the familiar it is also important to talk to your son.

    Ask him what he dislikes, ask him to be specific, try to understand on his level what specifically he dislikes about these people, are they too loud, do they violate his personal bubble. Does he want or feel like he needs help to cope. If so what help is he looking for? Communication will be essential. Also I highly recommend a book called "The reason I jump" by Naoki Higashida it is an explanation of Autism and it's effects and reasons behind these effects written by an autistic boy from Japan and translated in English. The BBC did a podcast about it not so long ago and it was so touching but it has also helped me dramatically and given me so many tools to use with my son now who is coming along in leaps and bounds.

    Above all you know what is best for your son, don't let anyone fob you off... It's gonna be exhausting but if you feel something is right then fight for it and for him. You have more rights than you think.

Reply

  • Firstly I would go to your GP - Since he is 17 you can still make appointments on his behalf.

    I think probably one of the best things in these situations is to request a form of therapy called CBT (Cognative Behaviour Therapy) it is alot of work but requesting or asking about CBT with your GP maybe a good start. On top of that make it extremely clear to your GP that you are not happy with the options you've been given and you want more advice on other alternatives to the statement "Just get used to it"

    While it is true that routine is important for anyone with ASD and sometimes high stress is a reaction to new surroundings or a disruption in the familiar it is also important to talk to your son.

    Ask him what he dislikes, ask him to be specific, try to understand on his level what specifically he dislikes about these people, are they too loud, do they violate his personal bubble. Does he want or feel like he needs help to cope. If so what help is he looking for? Communication will be essential. Also I highly recommend a book called "The reason I jump" by Naoki Higashida it is an explanation of Autism and it's effects and reasons behind these effects written by an autistic boy from Japan and translated in English. The BBC did a podcast about it not so long ago and it was so touching but it has also helped me dramatically and given me so many tools to use with my son now who is coming along in leaps and bounds.

    Above all you know what is best for your son, don't let anyone fob you off... It's gonna be exhausting but if you feel something is right then fight for it and for him. You have more rights than you think.

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