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New school problems

NAS82135

My son (4.5yrs) started primary school last week and today his dad has collected him to be told that he has spat in a teacher’s face and bit a girl. He’s never bitten anyone in anger before or spit, though he does frequently blow raspberries in people’s faces and not seem to grasp that it’s not funny/know to stop.

The teacher didn’t offer anything by way of next steps/thoughts, it was merely relayed to him, but it’s left us upset and concerned obviously. We’re very used to nursery where you get a full debrief at the end of each night.

I have lots of questions but mainly, as we’re new to this having only got a diagnosis over the summer, is spitting a sign of distress in a child with autism? Is not knowing when to stop doing something an autistic behaviour? And how do we address it? We’re worried that we’ve been treating behaviours as “Naughty” and approaching it wrongly, when he can’t help this.

It’s all very new to us and we’re struggling knowing how best to support our little boy. We’re also probably overthinking it all and worrying he’s going to not be able to stay at his mainstream school, though I know that’s unlikely at this stage.

Apologies for all the questions and if this isn’t the usual format of forum posts. Any advice on where to start would be gratefully received. Thank you. 

Parents

  • Hi we’re in a similar situation as yourself, our little boy got diagnosed earlier this year turned 4 in August and started school last week.

    Although he hasn’t lashed out at anybody yet he’s had a couple meltdowns at school but like yourselves it’s not the full debrief we were used to at Nursery. Our son will go through a stage of hitting when he’s angry so the biting could possibly be that he’s angry or overwhelmed by all the change from nursery to school, new adult faces along with new classmates. One thing we have adopted when he starts a meltdown is to try and cuddle him or even tickle him as this brings back the happy little boy we know he is, and prevents the meltdown lasting an age, you could always ask his 121 or his teacher to try this. At the end of the day it’s a really big change starting school and I’m sure after they settle into the routine things will calm down.

    hope this helps abit.

Reply

  • Hi we’re in a similar situation as yourself, our little boy got diagnosed earlier this year turned 4 in August and started school last week.

    Although he hasn’t lashed out at anybody yet he’s had a couple meltdowns at school but like yourselves it’s not the full debrief we were used to at Nursery. Our son will go through a stage of hitting when he’s angry so the biting could possibly be that he’s angry or overwhelmed by all the change from nursery to school, new adult faces along with new classmates. One thing we have adopted when he starts a meltdown is to try and cuddle him or even tickle him as this brings back the happy little boy we know he is, and prevents the meltdown lasting an age, you could always ask his 121 or his teacher to try this. At the end of the day it’s a really big change starting school and I’m sure after they settle into the routine things will calm down.

    hope this helps abit.

Children
  • in reply to JLT18

    Thank you, yes even since I posted he’s seemed better. When I picked him up yesterday he was really happy and we had a good meeting with the SENCO. It’s helpful to hear others have this as their normal.

    I tried being silly this morning when he was getting worked up about getting dressed, and it definitely worked better. 

    Hope your little one settles soon too. It’s a lot for them to take in and adapt to. They do better than many grown ups do!