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coping with meltdowns alone

NAS78442

Iam finding it difficult when my child has a meltdown outside,as iam on my own with her.

She runs away and screams at me and tries to hit me if i go near,but also puts herself in dangerous places at the same time.

Sometimes a meltdown can be up to an hour,and i feel so useless and stressed as she wont listen.

Any advice welcome.

Parents

  • Did you try hugging her?

    I know it's so simple and a blunt question.

    But have you tried that?

    Do it gently and with a smile on your face that says you accept everything that she is.

    And don't let go, believe me when I say that she'll love it.

    Don't act as if her actions are irrational or abnormal but instead try to act as if they are and watch her as she recalibrates and figure things out on her own.

    I know this may sound counterintuitive to you, but a hug can go a long way.

  • in reply to NAS80250

    she seems to dislike any contact, and whenever ive tried, she has pushed me away. but i shall try it,maybe using a blanket,then she can adjust the pressure.    The school senco,has said i should work on the controlling element of her autsim,but im just confused about it all

Reply Children
  • in reply to Homebird

    thank you. She may very well have P.D.A,which explains her not doing as she is told,even if its to keep her safe.

  • in reply to NAS78442

    Regarding hugs, I didn't like being hugged as a child but I did like being in my room with background noise.

    I note in your original post you mentioned being out. Wondering if you discuss the going out and the time you will return home. My son used to find it hard to come away from the playground when he was younger. I used to discuss how long we would be there, then give him a 10 minute warning, asking if there was one more activity he wanted to go on before we left. I might also say what we would do when we got home. 

    I also used to acknowledge when he found something difficult that I understood how hard he might find this. This also helped me as I felt anyone nearby who might want to criticize would understand too.

  • in reply to NAS78442

    Hi NAS80262, I just joined this online group. I have a son who is grown, he's 46. I am just sharing what works for him. I get that your daughter may not want to be hugged, I hope that works for you though. But if not, what works for my son sometimes is that he'll go in his closet, it's a walk-in and sit in there. He has it made up nice with lights and things he loves. Maybe your daughter could find a space she feels safe in too. I think if it's small, it will feel more safe....cozy. She could have her favorite things in there. Just a thought. I so hope you find something that works. We don't get an instruction booklet with all the answers in it. We struggle through with trail and error hoping to find what works for our own individual situation. Good luck to you. =)