Looking for advice

Hi, I'm 25 and only recently realised that I am autistic. School for me was a very difficult time. Where I come from home-schooling is not allowed (I grew up in Luxembourg) and I am just trying to imagine how I would have felt about it at the time. 

Have you asked your son how he would feel about home-schooling?  Maybe you can also find a middle ground, so that your son still gets some experience of social situations (if he feels up to it)- whether this is an academic or in an extracurricular setting. 

You say that you worry that it is not the right choice-  if you gave home-schooling a try and it wasn't working out how you hoped- he could always still return to school for the next term or school year? So it's not like it is an irreversible choice. 

When I was 11, I no longer wanted to go to school as I was so unhappy there and also felt very bored and under-stimulated. I ended up switching to an international school after that- my parents were very open with me and actually involved me in the decision making- in the end they gave me the choice of whether I wanted to change schools and I did - even though this meant going to a new school where I did not speak the language. I am very glad that my parents involved me in the decision making. I still had a difficult time at school (no friends, occasional bullying, feeling bored etc), but less so probably than if I had stayed in my current school. I think for me home-schooling would probably have been quite a good fit . I only recovered somewhat from the trauma of school when I went to university where I met some likeminded people and also made some friends. Everyone is very different so this is probably completely irrelevant to your son's situation- sorry if I am digressing off topic here. 

I think my main advice would be to talk to your son and also take into account his opinion (you are probably already doing this !!) - 11 is young but not that young and he's the one that has to go into school each day and it also really helps to have him on board no matter what choice you make. Like you say it's a tough call as there are pros and cons to each- I hope you figure out what is right for your son! 

Hi Jamie iv tried lots of after school activities he loses Interest so easily. Home schooling seems more and more appealing to me every week but I'm so scared of making the wrong decision for him. Tnkyou for your reply I may look into some gaming activities maybe as he's a huge gamer an this may help

Keep him in...i came out and it all but ruined me. My experience

Thank you for your response its just so hard to see him struggle so much with his emotions and socially in school. He takes everything to such a personal level an really feels the hurt an nothing I n say or do helps him he goes to secondary school soon so I'm hoping he can form better friendships there

Unfortunately, ordinary 'standard' schools are not very enjoyable places for neurodivergent children. I really loathed and hated school my whole school life, despite being academically bright. However, I think that being in the rough and tumble of school gave me far more resilience than I would have had otherwise. Plus I made friends that I am still in regular contact with, even now at the age of 60. There are no easy answers, but if you ensure that your son has as much support as possible things can improve.

His self esteem is really low and he doesn't think very nice things about himself which I obviously tell him isn't true when he's on medication his mood is severely low when he isn't on meds he can still be low but can switch up between moods quite quickly so it can seem as though he's brushing things off easily but he really isn't he internalises everything. Cahms have said he doesn't qualify for help from them as he was referred by school. I just feel at a loss and don't know what to do to help him