Looking for advice

Hi there.. I'm just looking for some advice really. My son is almost 11 he has adhd and autism. He is really struggling in school emotionally and socially. Some of his 'friends' are sometimes mean it is genuinely just kids being kids at times some children are just mean to him to hurt his feelings he doesn't really have any real friends an its so hard as a mother to see this. I have thought about home schooling numerous times but I worry if its the right choice for him. As he is so eaten up daily just by the things other children say to him. 

Parents
  • Hi, I'm 25 and only recently realised that I am autistic. School for me was a very difficult time. Where I come from home-schooling is not allowed (I grew up in Luxembourg) and I am just trying to imagine how I would have felt about it at the time. 

    Have you asked your son how he would feel about home-schooling?  Maybe you can also find a middle ground, so that your son still gets some experience of social situations (if he feels up to it)- whether this is an academic or in an extracurricular setting. 

    You say that you worry that it is not the right choice-  if you gave home-schooling a try and it wasn't working out how you hoped- he could always still return to school for the next term or school year? So it's not like it is an irreversible choice. 

    When I was 11, I no longer wanted to go to school as I was so unhappy there and also felt very bored and under-stimulated. I ended up switching to an international school after that- my parents were very open with me and actually involved me in the decision making- in the end they gave me the choice of whether I wanted to change schools and I did - even though this meant going to a new school where I did not speak the language. I am very glad that my parents involved me in the decision making. I still had a difficult time at school (no friends, occasional bullying, feeling bored etc), but less so probably than if I had stayed in my current school. I think for me home-schooling would probably have been quite a good fit . I only recovered somewhat from the trauma of school when I went to university where I met some likeminded people and also made some friends. Everyone is very different so this is probably completely irrelevant to your son's situation- sorry if I am digressing off topic here. 

    I think my main advice would be to talk to your son and also take into account his opinion (you are probably already doing this !!) - 11 is young but not that young and he's the one that has to go into school each day and it also really helps to have him on board no matter what choice you make. Like you say it's a tough call as there are pros and cons to each- I hope you figure out what is right for your son! 

Reply
  • Hi, I'm 25 and only recently realised that I am autistic. School for me was a very difficult time. Where I come from home-schooling is not allowed (I grew up in Luxembourg) and I am just trying to imagine how I would have felt about it at the time. 

    Have you asked your son how he would feel about home-schooling?  Maybe you can also find a middle ground, so that your son still gets some experience of social situations (if he feels up to it)- whether this is an academic or in an extracurricular setting. 

    You say that you worry that it is not the right choice-  if you gave home-schooling a try and it wasn't working out how you hoped- he could always still return to school for the next term or school year? So it's not like it is an irreversible choice. 

    When I was 11, I no longer wanted to go to school as I was so unhappy there and also felt very bored and under-stimulated. I ended up switching to an international school after that- my parents were very open with me and actually involved me in the decision making- in the end they gave me the choice of whether I wanted to change schools and I did - even though this meant going to a new school where I did not speak the language. I am very glad that my parents involved me in the decision making. I still had a difficult time at school (no friends, occasional bullying, feeling bored etc), but less so probably than if I had stayed in my current school. I think for me home-schooling would probably have been quite a good fit . I only recovered somewhat from the trauma of school when I went to university where I met some likeminded people and also made some friends. Everyone is very different so this is probably completely irrelevant to your son's situation- sorry if I am digressing off topic here. 

    I think my main advice would be to talk to your son and also take into account his opinion (you are probably already doing this !!) - 11 is young but not that young and he's the one that has to go into school each day and it also really helps to have him on board no matter what choice you make. Like you say it's a tough call as there are pros and cons to each- I hope you figure out what is right for your son! 

Children
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