Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is 11 diagnosed with ASD during the pandemic. She is artistic, musical and can sing in tune and reasonably good at running. She certainly would not be in the gifted range for these things but she does have flair and would be above average. Honestly, I would love to have had these gifts myself!
However she does not want to develop these interests. Does not want to take an art class, refuses to sing at trial singing lessons, will not join a choir, wants to quit piano etc etc At home, she hides in her room and listens to audio books or play on the ipad. I have suggested group music lessons which she says is the worst thing. She says she hates art and does not like running. We have told her that we want her to find a hobby or interest that she loves doing-she is even not interested in learning how to create her own computer games. I find this a bit strange because usually people like doing things they are good at.
I would like her to develop a few of her talents because I know that it will help her in her some way in the future- mentally, emotionally and physically ( or even lead to future employment) but I do not know whether it is wise to insist she joins in the extra curricular classes that will develop these talents- taking into account that she is autistic and also is it right to insist?. If you do think I should insist, how many classes would be reasonable for an 11 year old autistic child? I do not want to overload her and I am not sure of what a good balance looks like.
Alternatively any ideas on how we can find her a hobby since she seems so reluctant to try things.
I also find this situation a bit strange as I thought most people with ASD naturally gravitated towards an interest and this interest becomes all consuming for them...
Your experience and wisdom appreciated.
Hi there, I don't know how to help you much unfortunately because I actually have the dame issue with my daughter. All her life she has had an obsession with emergency services, sport and vans, so she joined gymnastics, which she quit completely after we moved house a few years ago. Horse riding, she quit during the pandemic and doesn't have much of an interest in it. Cycling, she joined a club but quit but continues to cycle. She joined police police ambulance cadets but quit these within a few weeks. She currently loves vans and she is planning her future, she is 15, and will constantly be researching different vans.
I'm sorry this probably isn't the answer you'd want but I'm just as confused as you are.
NAS75635 said:I also find this situation a bit strange as I thought most people with ASD naturally gravitated towards an interest
I though the exact same thing but my daughter doesn't, which doesn't make much sense.
I may have mentioned it before, but look for what connects all these things. I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere between 18-30 she shows a more invested interest in the Laws of Motion. Thrust, momentum, trajectory. Di Vinci was obsessed with this.
This comment is useful as it has got me thinking on a different level. My daughter loves speed and climbing so maybe I should try out activities which have that as an element!