Absolutely Desperate. Please help!

I have also read Sara Gibbs book, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for the recommendation, I might research the podcast.

Is Michael Caine’s book any good?

Hi, I tend not to listen to anything too “heavy”. Just finished Sara Gibbs brilliant  book, Drama Queen: One Autistic Woman and a Life of Unhelpful Labels. She has done a series of podcasts called Aut-hour, she interviews authors who have written books about autism and are actually  autistic themselves! A lot  were late diagnosed and recount their struggles and different upbringings.

Also halfway through Michael Caines book, From The Elephant to the Castle.  
Find the audiobooks really helpful throughout the long nights.

You are very welcome. I am glad you found my response helpful. Self talk is very natural, it is a means of us processing and filtering information around us. Everyone talks to themselves, for example sometimes it helps me start tasks as it breaks the continuous thought cycle.

Roy said:

I can only listen to audiobooks as my brain is too busy to read.

My brain is very hyperactive too. What audiobooks do you like to listen to?

Thank you so much for your reply. The way you have explained it makes it all make sense. I’ve self talked since I was a small child, I still do it more that I actually communicate with others. I find I have other thoughts going through my head while I’m self talking. I can only listen to audiobooks as my brain is too busy to read. I always thought self talking was just me, I didn’t realise other people do it. Thank you once again.

I find the rhythmic repetition of praying the rosary helps a lot because it reduces the anxiety, which makes me talk a lot.  However, sometimes it is down to feeling over stimulated or excited.  If this is the case, reducing the level of stimulation helps me or if that doesn't work, i take my medication.  On the whole, I found changing my lifestyle was the most helpful.  I ovoid many sweets because of the e numbers and i exercise regularly.  I find music can be too much stimulation at times, so I tend to not have a radio or a tv.  Self talk can be a way of avoiding social interaction.

On the whole.

• Eat healthy whole foods such as fruit, veg and wholegrains.
• Avoid stimulants such as E numbers and caffeine.
• Do physical activities daily. 
• Keep to a healthy weight.  Believe it or not it works!
• Have quiet time.
• Have a plan for activities.
• I find praying the rosary daily helps too.

Peace be with you.

It may seem unrelated to you but these are probably all the thoughts he has in his mind and he’s verbalising them all. Maybe a form of verbal stimming? I’m not sure ignoring him will be particularly helpful but as a parent of a very talkative 5 year old I’m aware of the frustration and sometimes danger of being constantly talked at (eg when trying to concentrate when driving) has anyone spoken to him about why he does it or doesn’t he know? What are school doing with him/for him? If he’s craving auditory input maybe he could listen to music or audiobooks? 

Hello, I know you want help but talking to himself may be a very natural way for your autistic son to process information.

Many autistic people process much more information than a non autistic person so our brains can be hyperactive and are consciously choosing which stimuli to filter and retain all the time.

You say that his speech is random and unrelated but from your autistic son’s perspective he may be trying to process previous interactions and events that have happened throughout the day. Could he be using echolalia? Echolalia helps us as autistic people to process and filter information, stim, show emotions and contribute to conversation.

You say that he demands that the listener repeats what he says, this is really important as it may provide predictability and reassurance. This is a really important need for an autistic person. He may also like you to repeat what he says as it is a nice stim and he is seeking a connection with you. Please validate this it is natural for him to become upset if this need is not met.

What do you mean this is limiting him socially? He is communicating is his most natural autistic way.

We as autistic people experience the world differently and therefore communicate differently, therefore relationships and interactions will be different. There is no reason for this to limit him socially. People just need to understand accept his autistic communication style.

What is the team at his school doing / recommending for managing this in class?

What I'm sensing his natural talent for auditory information. He also sounds proactive rather than passive. Which means I'm curious if he enjoys sitting through audio books.

Would he like some kind of dictaphone or recorder to record his voice an play it back? Would he like a one-on-one session with someone to introduce him to field recording? Or maybe a theatre coach who could work with him on the form of expression with language. There are techniques to reading aloud. Both my son and I have dyslexia, but learning these have helped and reading or saying something out loud makes more sense as words can lose meaning just in my head or get mixed up. There is something to the sense of auditory processing, especially for musicians. 

We experience everything very intensely. For instance, I've spoken with a few individuals who've had my everyday impact with sensory elements only when they've micro-dosed on mushrooms. This intensity is important to note, and there are things you might be able to teach him to work around some of the above.

When did he start 'demanding' others repeat what he says? Is there a chance this is how he has been treated if he's had a speech therapist, for instance? My mother would demand my sister repeated back phrases as her diction was messy, thus teaching her, 'This is how to speak to others". Perhaps he's afraid of being misunderstood and mistaken (speech issues, verbal communication issues, problems with following the 'tangents' in his head and helping others keep up with how everything he's thinking is related). This is also incredibly common - asking someone to repeat a thing is a form of asking to feel a connexion. If we're constantly misunderstood, it's a grave kind of isolation.

A few problems exist for many of us. 1. Our brains are working much faster than we can follow, which feels like we're constantly being demanded of internally. Think of a sleigh of dogs. If you cannot gain control, you might end up getting thrown off or worse, dragged behind. It's a bit like that. For me, I learned a bit of how the brain problem-solves with Logic around 18. We were all told by the professor most everyone fails the class, but he wouldn't completely fail anyone. A few of us received high marks and I have a feeling we were all autistic. This awareness, though, helped me work out how to follow a thought, and to begin to compartmentalise them. 

He could do with an enjoyable form of Turn-Taking. Practice with dice. Everyone takes turns saying as many words as they roll. Perhaps this is a family game during dinner. Move on to another form of word games where everyone has a turn. When we learn practical ways of interacting with others that aid connexion and aid a positive reception, we're more likely to consciously engage these forms socially and be able to use intentionality in building friendships.