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Absolutely Desperate. Please help!

NAS63791

Hi, thank you for taking the time to read this post. My autistic 14 year old son has very poor communication and social skills, which we are very lucky to have help with at school and home but he constantly self talks. From the moment he wakes till he goes to sleep, he doesn’t or simply can’t stop talking. His speech is completely random and unrelated to the situation, it is unrelated and very confusing to the listener. He will also demand the listening repeat what he has just said on cue and failure to do so will provoke upset on his part. We try our best to ignore this but when we (my partner and I) are on the car - for example - we will talk over us and if we ask him for a moment of quiet time he will react in a negative manner. 
his constant self talk is limiting his social skills even further and I can’t see a way to stop or even limit this to a more correct socially acceptable level? Can anyone help? Fingers crossed. Thank you for listening 

Parents

  • Hello, I know you want help but talking to himself may be a very natural way for your autistic son to process information.

    Many autistic people process much more information than a non autistic person so our brains can be hyperactive and are consciously choosing which stimuli to filter and retain all the time.

    You say that his speech is random and unrelated but from your autistic son’s perspective he may be trying to process previous interactions and events that have happened throughout the day. Could he be using echolalia? Echolalia helps us as autistic people to process and filter information, stim, show emotions and contribute to conversation.

    You say that he demands that the listener repeats what he says, this is really important as it may provide predictability and reassurance. This is a really important need for an autistic person. He may also like you to repeat what he says as it is a nice stim and he is seeking a connection with you. Please validate this it is natural for him to become upset if this need is not met.

    What do you mean this is limiting him socially? He is communicating is his most natural autistic way.

    We as autistic people experience the world differently and therefore communicate differently, therefore relationships and interactions will be different. There is no reason for this to limit him socially. People just need to understand accept his autistic communication style.

  • in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    Thank you so much for your reply. The way you have explained it makes it all make sense. I’ve self talked since I was a small child, I still do it more that I actually communicate with others. I find I have other thoughts going through my head while I’m self talking. I can only listen to audiobooks as my brain is too busy to read. I always thought self talking was just me, I didn’t realise other people do it. Thank you once again.

Reply
  • in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    Thank you so much for your reply. The way you have explained it makes it all make sense. I’ve self talked since I was a small child, I still do it more that I actually communicate with others. I find I have other thoughts going through my head while I’m self talking. I can only listen to audiobooks as my brain is too busy to read. I always thought self talking was just me, I didn’t realise other people do it. Thank you once again.

Children
  • in reply to Roy

    I have also read Sara Gibbs book, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for the recommendation, I might research the podcast.

    Is Michael Caine’s book any good?

  • in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    Hi, I tend not to listen to anything too “heavy”. Just finished Sara Gibbs brilliant  book, Drama Queen: One Autistic Woman and a Life of Unhelpful Labels. She has done a series of podcasts called Aut-hour, she interviews authors who have written books about autism and are actually  autistic themselves! A lot  were late diagnosed and recount their struggles and different upbringings.

    Also halfway through Michael Caines book, From The Elephant to the Castle.  
    Find the audiobooks really helpful throughout the long nights.

  • in reply to Roy

    You are very welcome. I am glad you found my response helpful. Self talk is very natural, it is a means of us processing and filtering information around us. Everyone talks to themselves, for example sometimes it helps me start tasks as it breaks the continuous thought cycle.

    Roy said:
    I can only listen to audiobooks as my brain is too busy to read.

    My brain is very hyperactive too. What audiobooks do you like to listen to?