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L56

Hi

I posted on this board a few days back as i am concerned my son is on the autistic spectrum. I am about to go and request a referral for an assessment from my GP and feel it would be a good idea in the the meantime to find ways to support him.

If any of you would be willing to share your strategies of how you deal with your kids meltdowns that would be ace. Is it just a matter of avoid the triggers and distract and what do you do to calm the situation once you can see that a md is imminant or winding up? What do you do when it's in public? Is it just a sit it out situation? My son just can't seem to be comforted and can't stand to be touched in this circumstance, so any ideas would be great.

Also, he has problems explaining his feelings emotionally and physically. As a result when i ask him if he's feeling poorly he doesn't understand what i mean, has anyone have any ideas how i can explain it to him. If i ask him if he feels too poorly to go to school he can't tell me so i then worry that i've sent him, when i should have kept him at home. But saying that, he gets upset being kept off school because it disrupts his routine.

Thank you once again for all your useful advice xx

  • Thanks Crystal

    You guys never fail to let me down, very sound advice and it all makes alot of sense to me. I feel like i'm having a huge epiphany and finally, finally understanding my little boy.

    Thanks again xx

  • Hi - as Longman says, it's really looking at the everything, from the immediate to the whole day.  Changes in routine, pressures building up, sensory issues such as certain noises, textures which might feel painful on the skin, certain smells, tastes etc.  It can be useful at times to keep a diary in detail.  Then you can look back on it over, say, a wk + see what patterns may have appeared.

    My son also has difficulties at times explaining why he gets upset.  If it's a short sequence of events then he can tell me easily.  If it a more complicated thing then he is lost for words, literally.  I've found that concepts can be difficult for him to grasp : things such as good, bad etc.  You have to build it up + be explicit.  So saying "don't run across the road" cannot be applied to all roads.  He wd take this to mean that particular road.  Poorly may be too big a concept for him.  I wd ask "does your tummy hurt....or does your tummy feel sick."  Breaking things down into small segments can be v helpful to people with autism - just as they build a jigsaw up bit by bit!

  • Thank you Longman that has really got me thinking. There are things that i am learning all the time and things that i am suddenly realising that suddenly make sense ( if that makes sense :o)) I will definatly be keeping a diary. 

    Alot of the time the biggest tantrums are when he has noticed that a peice of his starwars lego has moved or fallen over, but i can see all of what you are saying above. But yes also to the above, there are times when i find it extremly hard to stay calm because his meltdowns are so intense and can last so long. But thanks to the support on here i am learning the reasons for his behaviour and feel more in control with him.

    Thank you again that has really helped x

  • Check whether its the immediate stimulus that matters, or simply that the immediate event proves the last straw in a sequence. If you've had a bad day you can get short-tempered and blow up over nothing. Your son's threshold is a lot lower.

    So possibly think back to what chain of events could contribute to a meltdown later. Is the interruption of what he is occupied with to get ready to go shopping a contributory factor? What arguments have there been earlier that didn't lead to meltdowns but which he is still processing (rather than forgetting about).

    Keep a little notebook handy to record events and see if there is a less stressful build up to things.