Should I tell my 8 year old son what's going on and that he might be autistic?

I'm not sure why you'd like this to remain hidden from your son, or why you'd use the term 'a' word to refer to autism as if it's a negative thing that should be hidden, because it's definitely not a negative thing. Those who found out that they are on the autistic spectrum in adulthood are not usually upset by the diagnosis itself, but they are upset about not knowing about it sooner, because that knowledge could have benefitted them, because then they could have focused on their own strengths and tailored their time towards it, and they could have supports in place for their weaknesses, which makes their life less of a struggle and more managable. But if they don't know, they will struggle a lot, which turns into a problem. 

Apologies it was insensitive to say the 'a' word. My son has millions of strengths - I def dont see it as a negative at all  - I meant really from a child's perspective - and that other kids can be unkind when they dont understand something and can label people. I really appreciate your perspective and will pursue the diagnosis.

So you fear that your son will get bullied by other kids and they will call your son the 'a'-word (autism). But if you've heard anyone's childhood who didn't have the knowledge that they had autism, they got bullied anyways, because regardless of the label, we interact and socialize with others differently, and others do take notice. They notice the lack of eye contact, they notice the lack of understanding in regards to body language, and they notice the lack of social engagement, and any number of other things that will appear off to them. They notice. They will find it strange, and although we think we are being normal, we do not appear normal to them, and some might tease us and bully us because they find something 'wrong' with us, and regardless of whether they know the label or not, bullying can occur.

I mean I understand the need to protect your child from potential bullying, but what would be a greater asset is to help your child understand his condition, so that he can develop the skills he needs, and also he can get support in areas that he might need help at, so that he is doing better in life overall.

The knowledge of autism is not for the benefit of bullies, it's for the benefit of us on the autistic spectrum, so that we can accept the way our minds operate, so that we can do things in ways that will be most beneficial for us, even if that's going to be a different way from how others will do things. 

So you fear that your son will get bullied by other kids and they will call your son the 'a'-word (autism). But if you've heard anyone's childhood who didn't have the knowledge that they had autism, they got bullied anyways, because regardless of the label, we interact and socialize with others differently, and others do take notice. They notice the lack of eye contact, they notice the lack of understanding in regards to body language, and they notice the lack of social engagement, and any number of other things that will appear off to them. They notice. They will find it strange, and although we think we are being normal, we do not appear normal to them, and some might tease us and bully us because they find something 'wrong' with us, and regardless of whether they know the label or not, bullying can occur.

I mean I understand the need to protect your child from potential bullying, but what would be a greater asset is to help your child understand his condition, so that he can develop the skills he needs, and also he can get support in areas that he might need help at, so that he is doing better in life overall.

The knowledge of autism is not for the benefit of bullies, it's for the benefit of us on the autistic spectrum, so that we can accept the way our minds operate, so that we can do things in ways that will be most beneficial for us, even if that's going to be a different way from how others will do things.