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Should I tell my 8 year old son what's going on and that he might be autistic?

NAS75467

I have been invited to an initial assessment (via zoom) and they have asked that my son is present - but I cannot find out what they are going to ask him in the meeting. When I rang, the receptionist told me it was to go through the forms I filled in but I wouldn't want him to see what I wrote on the forms as he might be upset as it tackled some tricky subjects.  I am reluctant to involve my son as I have never mentioned to him that he might be autistic. Is it better to broach the subject or will the paediatrician just ask some basic questions and not mentioned th 'a' word? I don't really want him to know - I was just going to say it was a basic developmental assessment.

Parents

  • I'm not sure why you'd like this to remain hidden from your son, or why you'd use the term 'a' word to refer to autism as if it's a negative thing that should be hidden, because it's definitely not a negative thing. Those who found out that they are on the autistic spectrum in adulthood are not usually upset by the diagnosis itself, but they are upset about not knowing about it sooner, because that knowledge could have benefitted them, because then they could have focused on their own strengths and tailored their time towards it, and they could have supports in place for their weaknesses, which makes their life less of a struggle and more managable. But if they don't know, they will struggle a lot, which turns into a problem. 

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  • I'm not sure why you'd like this to remain hidden from your son, or why you'd use the term 'a' word to refer to autism as if it's a negative thing that should be hidden, because it's definitely not a negative thing. Those who found out that they are on the autistic spectrum in adulthood are not usually upset by the diagnosis itself, but they are upset about not knowing about it sooner, because that knowledge could have benefitted them, because then they could have focused on their own strengths and tailored their time towards it, and they could have supports in place for their weaknesses, which makes their life less of a struggle and more managable. But if they don't know, they will struggle a lot, which turns into a problem. 

Children