Did i cause my sons Autisum?

Thank you all who got back to me, hope you have struck the chord that rings in my heart,  i am sure i know that is the truth, and i think i will have to come to terms with it.

I think we all just have to accept things, i was stressed, it probably "turned" the aspergers gene on. But that is the way it is and will be. xx

'Cause' is an interesting concept. Everything has a 'cause', and genetics is one 'cause' that technically speaking  derived from your bloodline or his fathers, so in a sense, you are right. But there is no point feeling guilty or bad about this. You also 'caused' your child's looks and other attributes, to an extent, because all we really are is vehicles for the perpetuation of our genetic code - see Dawkin's The Selfish Gene.

You are also thinking correctly when you wonder whether or not the stress caused the autism. However, it is not as simple as thinking that the stress itself was the original cause, and this is why many stressful pregnancies do not result in an autistic child. What the stress can do is to trigger the susceptability genes for autism, switching them on, and setting in motion the development of autism. In fact, research has been carried out examining the possibility that a stressful pregnancy could trigger autism when the genes are already present. I am not saying that this is conclusive, and all cases vary, but you could be right.

My mum was extremely stressed during my pregnancy because her mum was dying of cancer. I was born with Aspergers, after a failure to grow in the womb, while my brother was born without the condition, but my mother was relaxed during this pregnancy.

Other 'autistic pregnancies' are normal, but events might happen in the womb that we are not aware of, hormonal or chemical, that could trigger the autism in these unproblematic cases.

Hi Xandedrsmum -losing a child is terribly traumatic shocking experience.  Have you been able to let your grief out sufficiently?   It can be difficult to move on when the past is still so much in the present.  Then getting pregnant so quickly after that would cause so many powerful mixed emotions which would continue throughout your pregnancy.   I think any of us would react in a way similar to you.  It takes time to reconcile/adjust to traumatic experiences;  sometimes a long time.   Please don't beat yourself up, you deserve to give yourself some slack.  I bet every parent on this forum has wondered as you have at some point.  We can all point to something that happened during a pregnancy + give it too much importance.  As sd in a previous post, lots of pregnant women are stressed or indeed very stressed.  Some have terrible diets.  Some have difficult pregnancies.  Some nearly miscarry.  Some smoke, some drink, some are ill for part of their pregnancy, etc, etc.  You can't align these things with autism.  The genetic component is a fact according to everything I've read.  bw

Sorry to hear about Frazer. It's nothing you have or haven't done. It's usually down to genes I seem to remember.

Oh dear, i see. Alexander is 6 but i have known since he was born really, a lot of things that i dismissed as i felt like i had failed him if i admitted something was different about him, he only got his aspergers diagnosis last week, its still all very new.

Thanks Azalea, I do try not to think this way, i really do, i just cant help it. I know i myself also have a lot of autistic traits, as does his father, and a genetic link is all they seem certain of.

However, i have a third son, William, who is the complete opposite of Alexander, and i was never stressed when i was pregnant with him.

Sorry to hear of your mums loss xxx

When were you diagnosed?