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Did i cause my sons Autisum?

Xandersmum

I know all the studies say they dont really know, but if they dont know, then how do i know i didnt cause it?

 

In 2005 i gave birth to a baby boy who was 36+6 days gestation, 8lbs and 53 Cm's long, His name was Frazer, and he had died in my tummy two days before he was born. We were destroyed, our hearts completely broken.

We started trying immediately as i couldn't be a mummy with no baby, and we were pregnant in 6 weeks, we were still grief stricken, but so over joyed that we had a baby on its way, however we were terrified the same would happen again, we lived in complete fear.

 

I cant help but feel (know) in my heart that my terror that he may die, contributed or caused his autism.

 

Am i alone in feeling the blame lies with me, i suspect not. Anyone else have anything they cant help but "know" was their fault too? Would really like to hear from others in the same mindset as myself xx

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  • Hi Xandedrsmum -losing a child is terribly traumatic shocking experience.  Have you been able to let your grief out sufficiently?   It can be difficult to move on when the past is still so much in the present.  Then getting pregnant so quickly after that would cause so many powerful mixed emotions which would continue throughout your pregnancy.   I think any of us would react in a way similar to you.  It takes time to reconcile/adjust to traumatic experiences;  sometimes a long time.   Please don't beat yourself up, you deserve to give yourself some slack.  I bet every parent on this forum has wondered as you have at some point.  We can all point to something that happened during a pregnancy + give it too much importance.  As sd in a previous post, lots of pregnant women are stressed or indeed very stressed.  Some have terrible diets.  Some have difficult pregnancies.  Some nearly miscarry.  Some smoke, some drink, some are ill for part of their pregnancy, etc, etc.  You can't align these things with autism.  The genetic component is a fact according to everything I've read.  bw

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  • Hi Xandedrsmum -losing a child is terribly traumatic shocking experience.  Have you been able to let your grief out sufficiently?   It can be difficult to move on when the past is still so much in the present.  Then getting pregnant so quickly after that would cause so many powerful mixed emotions which would continue throughout your pregnancy.   I think any of us would react in a way similar to you.  It takes time to reconcile/adjust to traumatic experiences;  sometimes a long time.   Please don't beat yourself up, you deserve to give yourself some slack.  I bet every parent on this forum has wondered as you have at some point.  We can all point to something that happened during a pregnancy + give it too much importance.  As sd in a previous post, lots of pregnant women are stressed or indeed very stressed.  Some have terrible diets.  Some have difficult pregnancies.  Some nearly miscarry.  Some smoke, some drink, some are ill for part of their pregnancy, etc, etc.  You can't align these things with autism.  The genetic component is a fact according to everything I've read.  bw

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