Dangerous behavior

Hi, I have briefly mentioned this previously but my 15 y.o daughter will leave the place we are and go for a wander and explore, or just because she's bored or had enough. Some times it's predictable and others are just 'out of the blue'. My main issue is that, when she leaves home, we don't know where she will go, but we have her location to keep an eye on her. We live down the road from the forest and where there is a stream near the road, where she has gone to before and she has an obsession with water but has sensory issues with it so she will only get her hands and feet wet at times. She won't go swimming at all but she is a great swimmer. It's worrying. 

Also because we live on a main road and she loves cars and will walk in the traffic and on the curb, next to it all. She had a close call with a car before and it's worrying. But the thing that confuses me is that she understands safety and knows how to be sensible but then at the same time she will dangle over a bridge on a motorway and cross a motorway in the need to get away. How do I prevent this. We keep the front door locked , Windows locked, the back gate is always in our view and she won't go in the garden away. We have a driveway which is now covered in stones which can give us a few extra seconds. Then we have a gate which can help us. We can also watch her because it takes her a while to put her shoes on so that can help with us. And if she does mange to open the front door, all the other doors will bang because of the wind so that's a big sign as well. She does worry me at times and her rational thinking goes when she's in a negative mood which can lead to her forgetting the basic safety rules, I guess. 

Any ideas on how to keep her safe when she's out. I've asked people but they don't understand. I've looked on Google but it just repeats itself. I'm doing everything I can but I don't want her to feel like it's a prison and that she can't go out because then she will want to escape and won't want to come back. It's very complicated. Thanks and sorry again for bothering you all

Parents
  • when i was a kid i was never allowed outside the house unless i first asked my parents. and the doors where always locked. they was classical old fashioned parents, bit controlling and smothering to the point it probably hindered my ability to get friends as i was never allowed out, but hey ho i didnt get abducted by child grooming gangs which are all too common now.

  • i didnt get abducted by child grooming gangs which are all too common now.

    Seriously NOT helpful. Here's what CAN happen when you're not considering the impact your words will have: 

    A NT mother like this will feel 100% justified in suffocating and inprisioning her ND daughter. As a result, the relationship will b worse as force strained further as caging someone agaisnt their will only creates resentment EVEN if the person doing it thinks they are doing it for the others "own good". 

    NeuroTypicals BY DEFINITION use a form of Reasoning which invovles ASSOCIATION. It is Incredibly Faulty and only feeds their out-of-control "control and domination Issues", it is an undiciplined De-Fault, and irrational which Autistics have to fight and fight and fight against.  

    That De-Fault, death by association looks like this: if you're friends with someone unfit, YOU are also assumed unfit. Or if there is a random stabbing at a local shop, they associate that shop with stabbings until the owner is forced to close it and go broke. 

    Think smarter, mate. Don't just insert your opinion when it can be detrimetnal to others. 

  • hmm so would you let, say, a 13 year old daughter go alone outside unsupervised to the park a few streets away? lotta predators around... hell it isnt even safe for a single grown man to go out these days but yeah no one cares when your adult as your in control of your own destiny, but a kid is someones charge, if that kid goes out and gets hurt, thats not the kids fault, thats the parents fault due to being the parents charge. legally speaking... i think this is why alot of parents get done for neglect or get social services knocking at their door for how they are not ensuring their charge is safe.

    all in all it is a risk, and theres pros and cons to both sides. yes its smothering to protect your kid, and they wont get friends due to you holding them back and not letting them out and that will effect them negatively. but also yes if you let them out unsupervised they will face dangers and you will be liable for it being their guardian that allowed them to be unsupervised and neglected outside alone.

Reply
  • hmm so would you let, say, a 13 year old daughter go alone outside unsupervised to the park a few streets away? lotta predators around... hell it isnt even safe for a single grown man to go out these days but yeah no one cares when your adult as your in control of your own destiny, but a kid is someones charge, if that kid goes out and gets hurt, thats not the kids fault, thats the parents fault due to being the parents charge. legally speaking... i think this is why alot of parents get done for neglect or get social services knocking at their door for how they are not ensuring their charge is safe.

    all in all it is a risk, and theres pros and cons to both sides. yes its smothering to protect your kid, and they wont get friends due to you holding them back and not letting them out and that will effect them negatively. but also yes if you let them out unsupervised they will face dangers and you will be liable for it being their guardian that allowed them to be unsupervised and neglected outside alone.

Children