High Functioning Autism and schools!

Don't worry too much, you seem to be doing everything very well and in good time. 

They typos! What actually happens to our fingers when typing? Proof reading is the key. I can't send anything without proof reading twice and there are always plenty of typos  and misspellings. 

Good luck in Lovely OZ. 

Bernice in wet England. 

Being an organized person meant that I raised my son in a very structured way and just found him amazing. Proper text book baby, I thought. As a baby he didn't babble but he could communicate by using proper words. By 18 months I was teaching him the colours on the Dulux chart as he seemed to know everything else. 

By 4 years old he was taking care of the daily bookkeeping and the tills in the pub we lived in. By 7 he was just too clever. School was boring and he thought everyone else was stupid even the teachers, because his research has taught him something else. He had one Geek friend who understood him and that friendship will never cease. 

However, not wanting him in their schools, head teachers gave me a really hard time. Cambridge LEA didn't have any funding for anything so he has been out of school for years now. I kept fighting and fighting and eventually he got an EHCP, which turned out to be damning and meant he could not get into secondary school even with a 1 to 1. No funding, No funding, No funding...... It's just awful. 

The only offer of help I got was that the officials could find Foster Carers who were trained to raise Autistic Children!! How messed up would that be, to be removed from you mum who you have a real strong bond with?

How messed up is that? All I was asking the so called professionals for; was for some sort of structured education and for someone to help me understand my son in a better way. I couldn't understand why he couldn't remember to put his shoes on after brushing his teeth and stuff like that. I had to say things 3 times to him before he would realize what I'd said. That's all I wanted to know about. 

As a result I am just ruined myself now. I have no ability to cope any longer and am trying to move away to kent or Surrey. There are some boarding schools in Surrey for kids who need small classes. One in Mitcham with only 16 boys who look neurotypical and other private Catholic schools in Surrey for severe learning disabilities and one in Woking for mild Autism. 

Cambridge won't provide us with cross border education because they will have to provide a taxi and it'll cost too much, however, one kid who was being diagnosed the same time was offered a school in Oxfordshire with a taxi provision too. Funny how they have money for some and not for others.  

The residential schools seem to care for children who have been abused and those with behavioural problems. The nice kids don't get a look in. 

The national Autism Society cannot help with this either, and have closed the unit for children in Cambridge... again... no funding. 

What a disaster..... Good luck to you all. If anyone has any contact details of anyone I can talk to in Cambridge who is not xenophobic or a Catholic hater that would be great. Oh by the way, one so called professional told me it was my soft voice that was the problem and another time he said it was our religion that was the problem. Did he actually think I could get my son into a packed church on Sundays? I am so done with the stuck up people up here I have to return to the normality of the multicultural South. Snobs the lot of them....... My son is kinda like Jesus though without the Bible bashing... righteous and wonderful!

I really hope no one goes through what I went through. 

Crazed mum.

Totally relate to above postings. ASD son about to start Reception in Sept. Currently in private prep setting where they have tried their damndest to understand, manage and provide DS with appropriate learning and classroom environment. Problem is the other parents and the academic pressure which will build up v quickly prepping the kids for 7+ entry. We are worried it will get too much and the school and he won't be able to cope. So we're looking at mainstream alternatives. What a nightmare.

Do we go to the single from entry school, with experienced but unwelcoming SEN , with SEN but no other diagnosed ASD kids.....? Or the state school w v nice ( but undynamic) head and v inexperienced SEN but lots of ASD in the school and DS would not be the only ASD in Reception? The best SEN we found was at abother mainstream school in deprived part of LA, absolutely passionate about SEN and ASD, with a special unit, but DS is verbal, high functioning and we don't think the unit would be suitable. If outside the unit we'd rather a " better" school.....

So ? now I realise how little the rest of the world knows and understands about ASD it's so worrying that we could end up in a school that pays lip service to inclusion and does not spend the time/ resources in implementing the strategies we've spent the last year establishing in our current school. And then what? Another school move? To where???

what are we parents supposed to do? Our already frazzled nerves and little spare energy taken up with yet more struggles to get our children's voices heard and needs met? 

ok got to stop rambling now. Too tired. Anyone got any suggestions pls let me/ us all know.

OMG... Just realised all the typos :0

Hi there,

I'm new to this site too... Our son is 5, with high functioning autism and commencing kindergarten next year. We live in Australia so even though our education protocols are different I think our experiences to be similar...

I found your article very interesting. We've just got our son in a support class in a mainstream school, but I'm worried his behaviours will be influenced by other children as it's taken us so long to help him understand right from wrong... However, as he only became verbal beginning of this year, his social skills are still developing n outside with a lot of other kids can be a nightmare for him. Luckily he's extremely talented at sports.

In contradiction to all of this,I am a teacher and have worked In n SSP school and there is definately a lack of understanding. I even inquired with Aspect and was told any teacher could apply to teach there, and they didn't need a special needs qualification. Scary... So with an amazing speech therapist, I do a lot of exposure to social parks n work most nights with him myself. A great new program is Gemiini.org all the work is already done, but I've only just joined this so see how we go.

As for school, I will be liaising with the teacher weekly , implementing everything academic wise at home n seeing if I can push him more. The new school has already told us out son will be a great role model to other kids in the support class but we want him to be stretched to his capability, as like most of u have stated, our kids are so borderline.

As a parent of an ads child and as a teacher, I have enrolled to do my masters in imclusive education so I can help him asuch as I can. Those teachers are in that role for a reason, and if they can't handle a bit of heat from you as a parent, than clearly they're not strong enough to handle your child. Maybe call a meeting to help educate and explain all the sensory, social and behavioural implications about your child with ASD, and that regulation is so important to help them learn. But be a strong advocate , and if you need to talk to the teacher weekly then do it. That's their job .

As someone with similar issues having gone through mainstream schooling, I say it is a bit of a hit or a miss.  It was a bit difficult for me because no one knew anything really about autism, let alone high functioning autism.  I had problems where I was disruptive in class when I got bored, became over whelmed when I was in a small classroom with too many people, and my secondary school had over 900 pupils, so there wasn't really anywhere you could get peace.  I was repeatedly called stupid by pupils and teachers, and just annoying by everyone else.  My Mum was at the school occasionally complaining about bullying and other issues, but we just got the response 'they're just being kids, what can we do?'.  I was stopped from applying for university because they so no future in me, so it has destroyed my confidence, with me just applying for a degree in Chemistry now with interests in Astronomy and quantum physics.

I can't really offer tips, except if you're not happy with an answer you have received you don't have to take it.  You are the parent so feel free to question what ever you are not comfortable with.  And never let your child think they are not as capable as any other child.  It doesn't hurt to remind them every so often.  Unfortunately at the moment there is as much awareness as we would like.  I was sent to mainstream school while all my friends were sent to the special needs school, when I moved up to secondary school.  My best friend had downs syndrome.  He was awesome, more people should learn to become more educated and tolerant, they totally don't realise what they're missing out on.

I don't know if I would've been better off going to the special needs school with the rest of my friends.  It's just one of those things in life where you just have to pick a path and walk it and learn from it.  I personally wouldn't have liked to go to a special needs school, beause as much as I do need help occasionally I find it difficult to be treated differently than everyone else.  I hate people being condescending.  But, everyone is different.

OP's situation is one I read about a lot and can identify with as a parent.

I would suggest finding out whether there are any independent schools that meet the criteria (does the NAS have any schools in your area?) as there are some, and asking for a review of your son's statement and naming the independent school.

Mainstream is unsuitable for the vast majority of HFA/AS children.  Special schools (and even ASC units) for some strange reason cannot cope with academically able children.  This makes them seem more like a baby-sitting service than a school - which after all si meant to be about education.

Hi everyone. I'm new here too. My son is only 4 and has started school in sept but it's not going well. I've had to stay with him as he couldn't cope with me leaving and seemed overwhelmed by it all. It's been two months now and I'm still there. I can see some signs if high functioning autism in our boy. He talks well is very articulate for his age but doesn't mix too well with the other kids and tends to do his own thing. Hes liked fans from a young age and anything that spins he becomes engrossed with. He's also very very clingy with me and won't sit still for long in the class. Otherwise he's like a normal kid I guess ;) we love him dearly and want whatever is best for him and what he's comfortable with. It appears at presenr he is not comfortable with being at school. It's becoming harder to take him in as he keeps saying how he doesn't want to go. We have seen some improvement in his general focud and attention span since he's been there and he is interacting with the kids a little bit now. Infact very popular with the girls lol ;) but I know if I wasn't there giving him one to one attention when he needs it the school would not be able to deliver and he would not be getting what he needs. It's all new to me I'm just do unsure if what is best for him. he is doing part time hours at the moment but next sept in class one it's more formal and they won't want me hanging around. I just don't know who I can trust to give him the education he needs at mainstream school he's such a bright boy. i have read that some schools will allow flexi schooling which is part time hours and part time home educating. Does anyone know much about that here?  Liz xxxx

This is so like my situation: my son is probably in the process of getting a HF Autism dx (and maybe will end up with an ADHD dx too); until now he has been subthreshold but does have hypotonia, hyperflexibility, tracking. processsing, developmental coordination disorder and severe sensory processing disorder.

My son's school have lied about how well he was coping in class at.every.single.meeting except the last few (even after calling the police when he had a meltdown), have told SW it is parenting that is an issue, denied soiling at school, allowed him to be ostracised and bullied (no one would sit next to him at lunch - and other incidents where he was the seen as the aggressor when the victim; it transpires other kids hid his stuff).The school has  refused to implement OT strategies or aides despite them being in the IEP and ... I did not realise the severity of how unbearable school is for my son, and how little they had done: he does not know letter formation at 11, or proper number formation - both of which I asked about years ago.   No one has sat with him to use the laptop he has properly. 

He had a one-to-one aide last year, from Christmas-ish time when he was readmitted after being out on only two hours a day since AUgust.  

Now after running away from school and several violent outbursts (when they would not phone for me to collect him - i had already lost the third job in four years for being unreliable due to having to collect him/his being excluded: irony I am  a special needs teacher! which is why they ignored my suggestions I think as the school had no special needs provision and refused to accept A needed it).

He has now been permanently excluded from school and no other appropriate provision can be found: he is a very academic able learner (even if he cannot actually write weel) but cannot cope with a mainstream classs. He described life at school as being in a warzone in a trench under constant shell attack.   He has, now, PTSD I am sure (behaving like a man with shell shock - was wetting self rathter than go back to school, wetting self at school during his final week, coming home and screaming for an hour or more,  would rather try to kill self than go in to a different school for an hour's tuition - all they are offering - and after trying that woke up screaming about being back in school four times last night!).

So we are now home-schooling, for the moment. He has done more work - focused work - in two weeks than he ever did a week at school. 

My wee boy told me

I think mainstream schooling is possible if you find the right mainstream school that recongnizes that social skill difficulties require intervention even when there are no academic problems.  There are some out there who do a really good job at this.  Then there are a lot of others that don't because the government does not evaluate schools based on social skills.  SAT's are numeracy and literacy and chidl happiness does not seem to effect the overall school scores.

My child has been in mainstream education for several years and I have noticed that without a strong SENCO, the ASD friendliness of a year is very  teacher dependent.  With a strong SENCO who is clued up on ASD, the ASD friendliness of a school is better than you could ever dream of.  The problem being, the right kind of mainstream schools do seem to be few and far between.

Hi Lisee,

I read this with interest and sympathy. I too have a little boy with high functioning autism or aspergers [not sure if it really matters if we ever know which it is and the way our local NHS services are going we never will!!!!]

My son is in reception and I am just wondering if your son's issues were known before he started school or have they come to light since?

I have had the most wearing and stressful time trying to get my son a statement before he started school [without a diagnosis though its taken as red, apparently] and succeeded so that he has gone to the mainstream school in our area which has the best reputation for SEN. 

I cannot say that I am 100% happy and we had a very bumpy start [not due to any behaviour from my boy]. However, one thing the school did, was give my son a quiet place outside the classroom, where he could retreat to and where he does most of his learning I think. The rationale was/is that when he is class it is for social intercation skills - like your son, mine has similar problems and a significant attention deficit probably due to his sensory impairment.

We also had a very gradual integration into the school - at first he was only going for an hour a day! This was increased incrementally week by week. He continues to enter the school by the main door and not through his classroom door, as this was blowing his brains 1st thing in the morning and caused him to get very excitable and throw things around!

Will be watching your posts as this could well be us at some stage. Our little man has 32.5hrs one to one but the SEN at school today, told me that if he continues to need this throughout his progression through primary, he is not fit for mainstream??? Worrying.

Love Rosemary xxx

Mum of one said:

In an ideal world how would you have wanted to be educated?

Good question. I attended mainstream primary; mainstream secondary; got expelled from school and became home educated. At 16 I attended college and finished with 3 A Levels.

There were no suitable schools in my locality for me during my childhood years and not enough people with high functioning AS to enable a SEN school to be established. With hindsight I wish I had been HE at a younger age.

Hi Arran

very interested to read your point of view. In an ideal world how would you have wanted to be educated?

Lisee said:

HOWEVER, we have been told by the local special needs schools, ed psych and consultant that he is too academic and his autism isnt severe enough for these schools. But what can we do?  He falls into the middle gap where there isnt anything for these children other than home education, which is what will have to happen.

This is similar to the situation I faced when I was at primary school. Autism was ruled out because I didn't have a speech delay or similar characteristics, but the SEN schools could not effectively provide an education for my above average academic ability. Asperger syndrome had not yet been picked up on and many AS traits were put down as behavioural issues.

My point is that children with high functioning autism would be able to cope and do well in mainstream only if the teachers were trained in autism and the specialist TA's were just that and not an untrained person sent on a day course.  Where inclusion was put into practice and not just a word branded about to make the school look good.

It was clear that at the age of 8 I needed help and support but the school was unable or unwilling to provide the right help and support for my needs. If I had problems with reading, maths, or spelling then I could have received all the help in the world but I didn't need any help with them. State schools are just not set up to provide the right support and training that children with high functioning ASD require. Perhaps it's because of it being a rare condition in an environment where catering to the masses and the common problems is the name of the game.

Hi Lisee

thank you so much for sharing your experience and telling me you had posted. It was really helpful to read it especially as you are further on in the process. I really feel for you     . You put it so well that it is an invisible disability.Your experience has made me even more resolute to fight like hell to get my boy into a special school or asd specific school. Please post on here what happens with your situation. I really hope there is a school that can help you. What about independent asd schools? If the LA can't accommodate your child in their schools would that be an option for them?