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12 year old son depressed and negative

With-a-Y

I need some bolstering. I feel very ground down by my sons low mood and his severe negativity, loss of hope.  Every day and especially at bedtime he is so depressed. I find it impossible to bring him any comfort. I have tried thinking about good things that have happened when I know he was happy, but he says thinking of them makes him more upset because they are in the past and he can’t have them back.  He is in bed, safe, with his teddies, soft lights, rain sounds, bubble lamp all the sensory needs are met. I know it’s more awful for him living it, I just feel like a useless bystander. Every night I say goodnight to him knowing he is feeling like this. 

Any advice would be welcomed. Thank you 

Parents

  • Hi there

    Sorry to hear that your son is feeling so depressed. Do you think it's because of secondary school? Does he attend a mainstream school ?  Kids on the spectrum have to work very hard to mask at school and that can be incredibly stressful for them in turn affecting mental health. If it's the school then it's time to get help and request school for support.

Reply

  • Hi there

    Sorry to hear that your son is feeling so depressed. Do you think it's because of secondary school? Does he attend a mainstream school ?  Kids on the spectrum have to work very hard to mask at school and that can be incredibly stressful for them in turn affecting mental health. If it's the school then it's time to get help and request school for support.

Children
  • in reply to Nikki

    It most certainly worsened when he started secondary school last September.  It is a mainstream school. Presently I am going to mediation with the Local Authority as my request for an EHC assessment was rejected. He is also waiting for a CAMHS assessment which is in June. I spend most days emailing and ringing professionals trying to get support, the NAS education service has been brilliant.  This has been going on since September 2020 and all this time he has been suffering.  I am run down on what to do or say to ease these thoughts as I do not have answers. He is not really attending school very much and I am trying not to add any pressure but last night he said he feels nearly as sad not going,  as going to school. He feels trapped and no wonder, 9 months is a lot of time to a 12 year old isn’t it.  Thank you for your reply.