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ASD Unit in mainstream school or Special school

Mum of one

Hello All,
First of all thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this. I have a little boy who is about to turn 3 and was recently diagnosed as being autistic. He has been attending nursery sessions at a brilliant special school since late last year. At his review they indicated that long term the school he is at (which we love) would not be a suitable option for him and he will likely change schools in a year. I asked what they thought might be suitable and they said a mainstream school with an ASD unit attached. I suggested perhaps a school that is solely for ASD pupils but they didn't seem to think so although they didn't say why & I will be asking after half term. They are starting his statementing process and are confident that will go through fine. 

So here's my dilemma. I am extremely concerned about sending my boy to a school that is predominantly mainstream. My main worry is that he will be bullied or teased and won't even realise or be able to tell anyone. He has no comprehension of others emotions at all and just thinks everyone wants to play with him. As he gets older the difference between him and other 'normal' children becomes more pronounced. His peer group now comment on his lack of speech (he only has limited single words) and not always in a very nice way. He is also a master copycat and because he wants to play with anybody around but doesn't really understand how that normally works he mimics other children. This can be irritating to them and has led to some unpleasant experiences where i have had to remove him when the children get annoyed with him. He also likes to be affectionate and hug other children but frequently tries to do this to children who are not actually being nice to him. I know it sounds small but he is very long sighted and has to wear glasses with very magnifying lenses which sets him apart from most other children and can make him a target for mean kids. I really don't know what his best options are and I didn't think he would have to change schools so soon. The school he is at now is so lovely and he thrives there but I guess they will need the space perhaps for a more disabled child. All of this is causing me a lot of anxiety. I can't raise it with his teacher until after half term so I was wanting to hear the experiences of others.

The nearest ASD school is about half an hour from me and is very good. There are also two small ASD units attached to mainstream primary schools near me. One is at a very bad school and the other is at a good school but they only take children up to age 7 anyway. I really want to hear any experiences, good or bad,or advice about my options. In the end will I even have a choice or if his teachers think ASD unit in mainstream is best is that what we have to accept?

Thanks

  • Hi mum of one.

    You wanted to know good or bad, my scenario will probably be different to yours somewhat, but hopefully it may be of some use.

    My daughter is eight, and I recieved confirmation just a few days ago that she is Autistic.  On the outside she seems like any average girl of her age, but she is different.  

    She has always been in mainstream school but as a village school it actually only holds 80 on the entire roll and that includes the nursery, so age three to year 6.  I always thought she was autisitc, and the original teachers years reception, 1 and 2 thought she was just quiet and she never contributed (because as I told them she had issues yet to be diagnosed).  As soon as she moved to year 3 and a different teacher and TA, the difference has been immense.  (she couldn't add one and one most of the time, and now can do much, much more complex sums and understands them so much better).  

    Basically, my advise would be, once you have chosen a school, keep them in for as long as possible (I am dreading changing, this will have a massive impact on my daughter).  

    Arrange a meeting with the head of both the schools you are thinking of.  Give them the full run down of your childs specific needs and view their response (maybe take your child with you - really see their views).  I was told by the paediatrician that diagnosed my daughter that many schools still do not believe Autism exists, and therefore do nothing to help them.

    Do not worry about being awkward, or feeling worried.  Your childs health and education is very important.  My paed.. also said that it has been proven that children with Autism who are given support in education thrive much better than those that are not.

    From your descriptions above, I would be looking at a specialist school, my daughter can communicate (when she wants to), but has lots of little quirks and low understanding.  I too am concerned about bullying, and I will be monitoring this as much as I can.  

    Do as much research as you can into both the schools.  I am sorry he cannot stay where he is, I actually cried when my daughters nursery closed becuase I knew it would be bad, and I really hope you find him something. Please keep us posted on what happens next.

  • Hi all,

    I am a mum for my son he is 11 now. He has Asperger's and High Function ASD. 

    When my son was 8 or 7 I asked social care twice to see them. They said he was fine. Don't worry they said. However, the head teacher of his school in Royston wanted him out of the school. For two years I was bullied and my child was frightened by the head there. 

    Then I moved the boys to a state school for help. His problems were ignored and after asking for an assessment by the SENCO specialist it was reported to me verbally that he was just fine, no dyselxia or anythig. At the end of the year it became apparent that he was behind others. Nothing was done though. In year 5 he was so bullied that the whole class has to beat him up just to save their asses. The bully, was an enormous weird looking boy. My son suffered assaults because of him. The police tried to help but couldn't deal with parents like that. 

    Then eventually I had to get him yet another school, this next school were great but his anxiety and lack of sleep meant he couldn't cope and was expelled. Trying to appeal the expulsion was an eye opener. I could only appeal on the grounds that the governors may have declined to send me copies of the meeting. No other reasons or human rights would be considered!

    Cambridge LEA were shocked by the expulsion and seeking help meant that we needed an assessment at the croft. Apparently it was the only way. 

    The Croft decided that my son has ASD like tendancies due to my religion and I should not raise my children with that religion, then after arguing that he said my voice was too nice!!! Thank God for the consultant though she recognised his condition straight away but unfortunately she was off sick for 3 weeks of our stay there and in the end I was told it was  a waste of money trying to help my son. 

    Integration into year 6.... this was a no no. The LEA decided that he should stay at home and refused to allow him into St Alban's. 

    They took a whole academic year to write a report for the EHCP and he compeltely missed year 6. Then they decided on a school without consulting me. 

    On numerous occassions I have been told that there are no resources for your son, but there is for others. I don't get it, can discrimination be so rife in this day and age. 

    Someone has to do something. I am not going to let this lie. I will move away, but will finish my legal studies and eventually become a Human Rights Lawyer to make Cambridge help students, the brightest kids of tomorrow are being misrepresented. 

    It's disgusting and unfair. Having a High IQ is not normal and therefore you must stay at home and preferably become agrophobic. 

    The amount of changes in personnel over the whole year was something else that made the whold process a disaster. In order to get a copy of the EHCP myself and have a part in the decision about my son, I ended shouting at them and telling them the way they treat people is dangerous, they could get killed!!! I felt like going crazy,,,,, I think the drove me crazy on numerous occassions to tell the truth. 

    Cambridge is a disaster for state school ASD kids, let's fix it. Contact Lib Dem. councillors, they seem eager to help. 

    B. Mother of my son. 

  • Hi mum of one, Ive just posted a new thread of our experiences with our son which might be helpful Its called high functioning autism and schools :)

  • Thanks for the advice and for sharing your experience. The truth is i'm so confused by everything that was said at his review that I just feel in total limbo. Having to wait a week before I can speak to his teacher is not helping. The review was the day before half term and my partner was away so couldn't come with me. The exact phrase that was used was 'long term he's not for us'. That may have been a poor choice of words but it's left me feeling almost like they can't wait to get rid of him. They seemed to try and soften it by saying 'he's too good'. Lovely though that is he's still autistic and his verbal abilities are below a one year olds! He has been so happy and accepted at that school because it is a special school (hate that word too BTW!). There is no bullying and the children and teachers are so wonderful. Just hate feeling like now we are on borrowed time. Logically I know that he can't stay there forever and maybe we have to let him move towards mainstream but it seems too soon. I'm rambling sorry. I really do appreciate everyone's advice and would specially like to hear from people who do have a child in an ASD unit within a mainstream school. Any experiences good or bad would be very gratefully received. Thanks all

  • I believe he needs "peers" at this own level with potential for growth and learning, as Autistic is defined as a growth and development disorder. So a mentor system, were he has a "older" guide at school.

    Where he find his level peering and growth, may be Mainstream with assistance, special school(hate that word, special), it is a specialist learning centre. I would suggest a half-way house, mainstream with ASD assistance.

    Think of this, what if this IQ was too high, mainstream would not suit him as the correct social construct. Regardless were he goes, he needs to settle and enjoy the experience, and as you highlighted cognitive safety is a priority away from the "psycho" type children, who should be in a special school connected to the local prison. Nobody looks at that. Smile

     

  • Hi - you seem to be going through the same dilemma as me! My son is a bit older and already in the Foundation Class at our local mainstream school - they've been very good with him but I don't think it's the place for him.

    We're now going to start the process of trying to move him into a special school - there are no mainstream schools with autistic units in our area at all - more's the pity!

    Like you, I worry about bullying - there are already two boys who mimic Jack's hand flapping and the sounds he makes when excited etc and complain if they get told off and he doesn't (Grr!!).

    Jack has a Statement in place and as far as I know, we will have a say in where he eventually goes to school. We were able to name the school we wanted Jack to go to - which last year was our local primary school and although it was oversubscribed he got a place.

    Don't be pushed into doing something you don't want to do. You obviously want the best for your son (as we all do for our children) so if you have to fight for what is best for him - do it - and when it comes to our gorgeous children - nothing is too small to worry about!

    Don't be forced into taking your son out of the school if that is your choice but where do you think he will be happiest? For us I know Jack will be better off being educated with children like him, with teachers, TAs and peers who understand him and we'll be happier knowing that he's not being singled out or removed from a lesson because his 'autism' is disturbing the other kids!

    We've just finished half term but I've used it to think about Jack's schooling and to talk to other parents with autistic children about the choices they've made. I've researched as much as I can about the Special Schools in our area and I have a list of people to contact tomorrow to find out just what I need to do to make this happen.

    I think the school need to explain why they think your son should move - they may think it would be best to have him start in a mainstream with ASD Unit rather than keep in the special school to get settled and then move! Do they have an exclusive 'ASD' class at the school he's at now? Are they oversubscribed?

    Just sending you a big hug as I know how frustrating and upsetting this all is. Please keep us updated. x