Coping with sensory issues in the real world

My son discovered a love for Judo after trying out Karate for a few years. He hated group sport. He is also into games but knows he needs to work out every day (24 now). There does exist solo sport and work out gaming - could be good to look into if it gets him moving. Once the body is used to a healthy thing, it can crave it. My son also had dyslexia but I discovered he really wanted to play adventure games which required reading, so I let him play as it really helped his ability to read.

It might be worth looking into the poor balance/co-ordination and find out if it's possibly related to stress and external stimulation. Video games take quite a bit of co-ordination.

I personally need to do and finish one thing at a time or I'm a liability, this requires focus and over-sensory stimulation can really throw me off balance. Many individuals cannot focus on the task at hand if they cannot even get to a state where they can present/relaxed/in the task itself. Just a thought! 

hi my son is 11 and he has sensory issues not only to do with clothing but also noise he has 5 siblings which he finds the noise very stressful and he has melt downs i was advised to get him ear defenders and he finds this helps he also uses head phones as he finds music helps i hope this helps

You have to think for the future - you can probably manage him now when he gets upset - how will you mange a big, strong 20-year old?

Well that is another big issue that we have - he has no interest in any physical activities and is very sedentary. He does like solitary activities like swimming and cycling - but they're not exactly something that will tire him out. We tried him at all sorts of group sports but nothing worked out. He has no motivation to do anything - we take him to the park, sometimes he plays, sometimes he doesn't.  We go for walks and he complains. All he enjoys is online gaming, which he is obsessed with.  His little brother is into everything and very active. Another thing - I think he has dyspraxia, never been diagnosed though (very clumsy, poor coordination, poor balance- don't know if there is any point pushing for it.

There's also the 'being male' bit - as we get older we *need* to burn off the aggression and energy - I lived in the country so I climbed trees all day.    You can see the behaviours if you watch chimps growing up and the younger males start to challenge the pecking order.

What does he do to burn off his energy?    It might be worth finding some activity that knackers him completely - he won't have the inclination to fight then.  

what would he find enjoyable?   What about a punch-bag in the garage?   Judo?    Even boxing - He might get hurt - but he'll learn the art of being a man and controlling himself from the others.    Is his dad able to spend that time with him?     A 'right of passage' type of serious challenge.

Yes! I do agree that the younger brother antagonises him, he knows it annoys him so sometimes overdoes it deliberately. Sometimes difficult to separate the asd behaviours from just misbehaving I agree

Hi Abitlost

The intolerance for the singing and whistling is more likely natural sibling rivalry - the noise is an excuse to antagonise and the instigate trouble - on both sides.    It's also a control issue - making everyone in the house OBEY every unreasonable demand - or else!

Thanks for replying Wilko. It's strange sometimes what sets him off and we are still learning. He is also in mainstream school as he is very intelligent and high functioning. A few weeks ago his teacher printed a worksheet out in black and white (as they do in school to save money on colour printing) and it completely set him off. He couldn't cope with the fact it was black and white and not colour and he was trying to explain to me how it made him feel and I could see how physically uncomfortable he felt even recalling the situation. In the end the classroom assistant took him to the sensory room to de-stress. I do believe it's all about teachers that understand as well, 2 years ago he had an awful teacher who really knocked his confidence a lot and it took him a long time to come back from that. this year is much better. He also has issues with shouting out in class, he's has quite an encyclopedic knowledge about some things and likes to share that, and obviously that's not great, but at least his teacher is understanding. 

Hi, my son was diagnosed when he was 8, he has sensory problems but are more to do with touch, how his clothes feel, certain materials and textures, there was a period of time where we struggled to get him to dress at all. We found a website that produced clothes for children with sensory issues and produced seamless clothes and used soft materials. The primary school also allowed him to wear none school uniform clothes that we a similar colour and he wore crocs to school instead of shoes. He has made leaps and bounds since then and on his social skills especially since being at senior school. He is in mainstream school and although he does find if difficult socially he has a small group of friends. Both his primary and seniors schools have been exceptional and it is well worth finding which ones have very good SEN departments.

For hearing the only thing I can think of is as O says, using headphones at home, you can get earbuds which are also noise cancelling so even if he is not listening to anything they will shut out a fair bit of noise. there maybe something similar to this that you could inquire about with your GP?

It is difficult in a classroom as he will still need to hear the teacher whilst trying to cut out other noise, i suppose you could discuss with the school for him to be able to wear some headphones when he is becoming overloaded or allowed to be excused from the class for x amount of time to allow the overstimulation to subside and then come back to the class.

With regard to bullying, I don't think that my son has been picked on anymore than a child without autism has, there has been a couple of issues in the past which the school has nipped in the bud very quickly. Again this will all be down to the school aswell.

Hopefully you can speak to the school and find some solutions.

You're welcome I know my response doesn't do too much in the way of actionable advice but it might just help to get you thinking in a different way.

With the socialising thing I would guess he has some very focused special interests that he just LOVES a lot of autistic kids and adults do if he finds other kids with the same interests and you have a look too that could be a good way to help him interact with others, maybe clubs at school if his interest align with anything they put on? It's hard because he's young and he wouldn't have access to Facebook groups and meet ups and places he can go on his own obviously, but again as he gets older these things become more accessible.

Hi there,

thanks so much for your response. It's nice to hear it from your perspective. I completely get that it is just awful for him and it breaks my heart. I think I know that there isn't much i can do really, and maybe as he gets older he might just find his own ways of coping. I think i just wanted to talk to someone about it as i don't really talk to anyone about it at all! so thank you 

Hi there, I personally wear headphones most of the time when I'm at home when everyone is around (I live in quite a loud household so it they all get on my nerves a lot) just listening to music watching my tv shows etc etc it really helps me my main sensory issue is my sense of hearing too so I understand you son from that perspective high pitched sounds like whistling and singing and more cause pain for us autistics.

It might be worth investing in some nice headphones for him to use at home he can pick out a pair, make it nice thing for him. The sad thing is there isn't really much you can do about the noise it's self in the real world there will always be noises and sounds that can triggers sensory issues/overload. Depending on how he is he will learn this as he gets older and you can't stop other people from doing the things they want not all the time at least anyway

I didn't know I was autistic when I was younger I had a late diagnosis so I just ended having to force my self to cope with it by removing myself from situations I developed an almost 6th sense to know when something will end up being bad for me and a leave before anything gets too much for me, and some days I have good days where I can cope better and other when I'm not good and I just need to be left alone with my headphones one for pretty much the whole day I've developed more of a tolerance as I've gotten older but it still happens now and then hopefully your son might learn his own ways of dealing with things too.

I know in school that it's not possible to just remove your self from situations like that so it might be worth speaking to who ever you need at school and explain the situation with his sensory overload (if you haven't already). They might be able to offer something that might be better for for him I don't really know too much myself as I never was offered anything but I can't imagine asking would be a bad idea.

I would probably reach out to someone who is a professional that help you guys out the NAS has a helpline they may be able to direct you to the right place. And they might be able to teach you a few tips and tricks for your to help him out now.

Also if you can talk to your son and ask him what noises, smells, textures and things upset him try and figure out what exactly they are and you might find that some of them have an easy fix and some not so easy but you at least have somewhere to start.

O.