Where can I go now?

MeMyselfandI. Thank you for those links. Like you say I will maybe try and focus on Alevels first, or a more 'normal' route. Something like an aprentiship has been mentiond or a diploma or betec in something. But it is good to know that their is options if none of these work. So I will keep them and hope they will be useful if I ever need them. 

Mum of 3. I think it is insteresting that is what they said. Although I doubt my mum would ever ring, or if they would help, especially me being close to leaving.

I can undderstand that. I found out online that they are supposed to welcome and support people with disabilities, although as you say some units do not do this mine being one. Did you manage to transfer to another unit then? Or how have you experienced two units? I thought you  had to go to the one closest to where you live. Yes I have visitid other units for courses though so I know what you mean, some are better than others.  

Wow, Corpral is a high rank then. The highest ranked Marine cadet we have is MC1. The highest rank Sea Cadets we have is AC. I think my unit is going to try and make people move ranks a bit faster now, especially with the new training program out. But they are good at saying things and not doing them. Also, I know they do not want people overtaking each other. I know I spent ages as a cadet because the what are now AC but were then OC were unable to move up. So, I think that may stop me, but with the new training program you do not have to move up from AC unless you want to unlike the old one which made you move up if you were ready.
But, I will just have to see how it goes and hope. I think having a year to do it makes it realistic but I think a lot of it depends on other cadets.

Amy 

It really sounds like your needs are not being met.  And as a result it is causing you anxiety and distress.

Yes, I agree with you that there are teachers who know about the condition and get it ever so wrong.  And I do know how destructive it can be to a person to have such a teacher, so I can understand your refusing to go to class.  I you feel like a teacher is picking on you daily, of course you would not want to go there.

Can I strongly suggest that if you do find a different college to go to that you do look for things such as a lack of buzzing lighting and other such things.

OU - http://www.open.ac.uk/.  Again it is not free (or cheap) and is a proper university, but is all online.  Once you are 18, you would be able to get student loans/grants/.....

Open Learn - http://www.open.edu/openlearn/ Free educational resources from the OU but no qualification

Udacity - https://www.udacity.com/ Mostly math and computing courses.  All courses have certificates, some also, for an additional fee and with a final test at a testing centre (which they have worldwide), give university credit. Some of the courses are given by people associated with Stanford University

Coursera -https://www.coursera.org/  Lots of leading universities use this (including some US Ivy league ones) for a wide variety of subjects.  Many of the courses give certificates, but not all.  Some of them with an additional fee and sitting a final at a testing centre (again they have them worldwide) will give you university credit.

Edx - https://www.edx.org/ Used by school such as MIT and Harvard.  It has a much more limited set of courses and the  courses are much longer than the other free ones.

All of the online educational courses have forums where people can discuss the course material and support each other so that they are not alone.  Although there are deadlines for when assignments are do, there is not set course time, so you can do the work when you feel it most suits you.

I am not in any way suggesting that you should give up on trying to get proper A levels.  However, if you are unable to find a college that you can learn in, these are all alternative ways forward. 

Hello again, thank you for the further replies

MeMyselfandI. I do not think people were aware of my ASD when I started collage, and I always doubted if some people were ever told. (my chemistry teacher being one-apparently he was and I quote ‘fully aware of my condition’ yet told me off for being early to lessons, chewing (which I do CONSTATNLY if I am  upset in any way) writing in my notebook-something else to help me, and getting confused when he is doing 4 tasks at once! Does that sound like someone helping me? People then wonderd why I refused to go to that lesson anymore… it really is terrible some of the things they say.)

Do you have any more information about either of those options that I could have a look at? I am open to at least looking at different things right now. Not really knowing what is available I will have a look at something and see what happens after that.

The social worker I have now is apparently specialist in children with Disabilities or additional needs, but saying that I am only just still a child. But I thought the social worker from the assessment team was better other than not explaining she can only work with me for 3 months and then suddenly I had someone new instead which is the person I have now.  

It is not just collage that say the right things without doing them, everyone does it. Even staff at my local Autistic group-and I would expect them to know out of all people. I had hoped the group would be brilliant but I am still struggling with it and not going as much as I used to because I find it is really hard.

Mum of 3. Wow, I did not realize this. What did the HQ say about people with Autism in cadets? I doubt my unit will get training as such, especially with me leaving soon. But even if they get information then I am hoping that will help if it is done properly. Unlike it was at collage and it is the same person doing it. But he scares me still (a person from the autistic group I mention above) so I am scared of it going really wrong and ruining things in cadets. Not sure what I can do about that though.

Too many people wanting to be staff? Tell him to come to my unit, I would love not to be the only one wanting to complain about buzzing all the time! Or being touched in First Aid... oh don’t even get me started on that…

I am glad he is okay with leaving. It is something he will have known about so it is easy to know when it will be happening and prepare for it, so although it is a change it is a known change which is easier. I believe with enough knowledge in advance about what will happen and time to prepare autistic people can cope well with change. It’s just NT people do not understand this and constantly let us down.

Corporal means nothing to me. Marine and Sea Cadet ranks are different like he says and we have never been taught Marine ranks (always hard with Marines around all the time) But other Sea Cadets cant even learn the sea cadet ranks so they will not teach Marine ones -  I suspect our staff do not know either. I would love to know them though because I find ranks and rates easy and it would help if I meet Marines or Marine staff at other units or offshore. Could you ask him what the Marine ranks are?
I am currently a OC-Ordinary Cadet. Very insulting rank if you ask me! I can cope with being OC but hate saying it out in full. Although the syllabus has just changed and I think getting to AC –Able Cadet, the next rank will be hard because you have to get 2nd class first aid and seamanship now. Although I would like to become a AC before I leave. I have just less than a year, it will be a lot of work but it is something to aim for if my unit can teach  me all I need to know in time.

Tiredeyes. I know he does. The collage are always saying how they are fully aware I have autism and how to help me but it is all lies. They still can not grasp the idea that I can hear things that no-one else can and I am NOT just trying to get attention I am in genuine pain sometimes. I as I always have done do not tell them anymore and have to suffer in some rooms because they think I am just making a fuss to get attention.

No, again I have spoken twice to the connexions person but he is not helpful-neither was the connexions person at school. I find the work they do unhelpful and I am reluctant to go. He now decide I have to get a appointment from someone else so I gave up with it.
What do you mean by supported learning units? Could you give me some more information on this? As you may have guessed student support here is not very good and talking to them is basically a waste of time. It is mostly easier to just suffer with whatever is wrong.  

Where I am some things end at 16, Like CAMHS who diagnosed me. But others change at 18 like all the child protection stuff and Social Worker. I find it all very confusing. I imagine most of the next year will just be waiting till I am 18 then I can start again and get re assessed by adults and see what they can offer me. Possibly less than I get now but I am at least hopeful it will not change each month like it does now.

Silver100. I agree. I think their needs to be a national service for people age say 14 and a half to 20. So it comfortably accepts people any age between all this gap in are you a child or an adult without age being an issue! I doubt the people in charge would listen to me despite the hundreds of people affected every day by it.

Amy

It is ridiculess to have no classification between 16 and 18 - it can be a very stressful period for anyone, even if you don't have particular needs.

First off I am sorry to hear what you are going through and it must be very hard. 

Your 1-2-1 assistant needs to be trained in how to help/support a young person with autism!

Did you get any help from connexions???

Most colleges have supported learning units which I think you would greatly benefit from. I would speak to student support for some advice on these and what courses Offer !

Once you turn 16 you are classes has a adult by the Nhs, unfortunately there is limited or no services for 16-18 year olds and can be a right nightmare. (Have been there 3 times already). 

Until your 18 you are not able to go and have a adult disabilities assessment where they will asses your needs and have acces to a Adult disabilities service social worker, or get a referal for a support former from local organisations.

Amy, 

Based on what you are saying, it does sound as if the current college is not the right place for you because you feel so let down by them that even if they were to make changes, it would be difficult to forget the past.  So I think you are right to look for another college.  Knowing you had ASD, people there SHOULD have kept an extra eye on you when you started to see how it was going and check up on you periodically to make sure there weren't problems.  This clearly has NOT taken place, so you have been let down.

However, longer term, based on what you are saying about getting on better "online", I can suggest what you could do after college.

1. Open University.  To be honest, as you are going to be 18 and this will give you recognizable qualifications, you could do this one instead of college. You don't have to do a degree if you don't want, but as the courses are "university" level, they could help you find employment later.  Their level 1 courses do not assume people have A levels and are there to help those who haven't been in education for years to get back into it.  They also have taster courses to try to see if it is suitable for you. This being said it is NOT free.

2. Things such as Coursera, Udacity, and edEx which are completely free.  However many employers will not recognize certificaes earned because they do not know what it is. However, you can learn a lot for free int he areas you are interested in. 

I am sorry that you have been so let down by society.  And I really think you have.  Social services have not made sure you understand the changes or given you the service you desreve.  Whoever your case worker is clearly does not understand ASD as keeping you informed would keep you less stressed.

It sounds as if many NT people in your life are not communicating to you in an ASD friendly way.  And that is what is causing your discomfort at college.  Make sure when you go to your next college you let them know what went wrong this time around.  That way they will know that the interventions are necessary and not just say all of the right things and do none of them.  

Hello to everyone and thank you for all the replies. I am very grateful and I have looked at all the suggestions which have taken time.  I now hope to reply at least a little bit to every comment individually, and after all the replies this could be a long comment! 

Bananas. I was never looking at collages with the best grades. They all come and present at school and each one has a ‘the best in the area’ for grades. Clearly they can not all have this so I quickly dismissed the grades as something I would use to chose. To me grades are not important anyway. 
 Is your son still at a mainstream collage, just with a bit of support?  I am at a sixth form collage-which is not attached to a school. To me I would just call this a collage. No-one really knows exactly what a sixth form collage is and why the collage’s name includes both ‘sixth form’ and ‘collage’ maybe they will change it because it does make it a very long name.  I am thinking about moving to a sixth form which is attached to a school which would therefore have a uniform and more structure to the day but there are not many around where I live.

Ohalrightthen. That sounds like a good suggestion. I never knew the NAS could provide quite individual support like that. I thought most of their work was based on awareness and some advice. Do you know how I would get this from them?
Unfortunately I no longer work with anyone who diagnosed me. That service finishes at age 16 although I did stay on a little after that I am defiantly too old now. I think both my parents are struggling with the diagnosis still-particularly my dad who currently will not talk to me.  I can understand this a bit, for 16 years they had just a ‘normal’ child and now suddenly that child is labelled and no longer normal and I think both of them are struggling to accept this and deal with it. Mum is more accepting because she can see how it fits me and it explains some of my strange ways. I am much more accepting of it because I feel I finally have a reason why I always felt different. I recently found something I wrote when I was 12 (way before Autism was even mentioned) and it said I wanted to be accepted as I am because I am quite happy do be different and do not like being encouraged to fit in. Even at that age I knew I was different as did others who were constantly trying to force me to have friends.

I am not sure what you mean by ‘the person at the local careers and learning guidance place for your local area’ I know very little about the head of collage, we have never seen them because they are always at the other campus which is in no way connected to my campus other than sharing a website, a name and some of the staff work at both. The head does not so I have no idea who it is.
I do have a Social Worker and the one I have now is apparently one who specialises in children with disabilities or additional needs which so I was told means she has more contacts with the sort of services that could help me. Although so far she has not been helpful at all, I have only seen her twice in the 3 months she has been my Social Worker and one of those times was when she appeared and I was suddenly told by my old Social Worker that I have to have someone else now. Yes a bit of warning and to have that explained more clearly would have been nice. What I do know is because this person is from a children’s team the transition to adults was supposed to start at 14, obviously that never happened to me so I now have to transition to adults and also settle into children’s within the next year. I imagine that she will just wait until my birthday and then say ‘you are 18, bye’ not having done anything in the previous year. All I can do is see what happens and hope.

hohner.  This is basically my conclusion too. I have spent probably the last 3 years saying I do not need this ‘wonderful’ team that go to these meetings and to have separate people for each bit of my life. I need one person that I can get to know, and get to trust and therefore becomes someone I can talk to about everything. But in the way things are now that won’t happen because people can only ever deal with specific things. I always struggle with explaining things, see I know this but even having explained it to people many times they have still not listened to what I say and made it happen. Sometimes I feel so helpless because  I wish I could do it myself.
I also agree with only doing what I enjoy. Ever since I left school I have been really unhappy, to me it is more important to be enjoying what I do than to come out at the end with any good grades. Whatever I get I will just see where that takes me. That is what I did with GCSE’s and they never ended up too bad.
I think as you put it the 15 years of camouflaging work too well. I sometimes think that people do not realise I struggle as much as I do because I am so good at hiding it and just having to ‘fit in’. I have never tried to fit in and have friends but I do fit in enough to appear normal and people never realise I am different. Now I try to be open about it if I meet new people in the hope they will realize I am different from the start.

Bananas again. My Social Worker mentioned this at the last meeting they had. As I said above they have a transition scheme that runs from age 14 till 19. I have a booklet about it that explains what should happen at each age and can clearly see  I have missed the key parts at the start. Also for year 12 there is not really anything that should happen in it other than to review how the transition from school went (badly!) so I can partly understand why not much is happening but would it not be sensible to try and catch up what I missed?
The Social Worker said that they have 1 person that works on transition from children’s to adult services. But, this person also knows us outside of her job and has therefore said that she will not work on it with us. So, they need to find someone else to do it instead and I am told they are doing it. They said the person they find would have to ask the person we know for advice anyway it being their job so to me it seems silly and just another excuse to delay everything. But I can not argue with what they have said so again I just have to wait and hope.

Mum of 3. That is a good question and I do not exactly know the answer as I mentioned above. To me I would describe a 6thform as something that is attached to a school, and contains year 12 and 13. And I would describe a collage as something for people over 16 but that is not attached to the school and it is more relaxed and can also include adults, night classes and more variety of courses. I am not sure what a Further Education Collage is but I am assume it is similar to a collage.
I understand what you are saying and I am really tempted to agree, as with everything in life it revolves around things such as funding, age, paperwork, referrals and meetings. None of these things achieve anything in my opinion but that is all this amazing system ever offers-a referral somewhere else, or a further assessment you never get results from. It is just so frustrating as well that age and funding play such a major part rather than on individual circumstances and the persons need for support.  
Sorry, mini rant at the system over.

I am the Amy that goes to sea cadets-that is an amazing memory you have! I have knowingly not been on these boards for a while and yet you still remember. I have a terrible memory for people though so I envy anyone who can remember people.
I do still go and I have a few courses coming up. I am hoping that people from my local autism centre I now go to can talk to both my unit and the units I will visit so they can be aware I have autism. Hoping then that causes will be a more enjoyable experience, especially as I have 2 5 day courses in the summer, one with my unit and 1 offshore on T.S. Royalist! (So exited about Royalist, I always wanted to go sailing, but completely terrified at the same time) Not sure this great plan will happen before a course in March but I am hopeful it will be before the big courses in the summer.
Did your son decide to become staff at 18? I am still unsure if I want to –although I am reluctant to.

Mike. Is their any way of searching from that first link? That is a lot of pages to look through and no way of knowing which ones are close to where I live. Or would it be better to contact the helpline and ask for the ones in my area?  And that second link is not working for me.

MeMyselfandI, I like that username. I get that a lot, I have never had any issues with confidence-sometimes I think I have too much of it. I have always known I am different and just accepted it. I am not afraid to be judged and be hurt by so called friends, If you are going to judge or upset me then best to get it over with so I can know not to have you as a friend. I think this can make me too confident because I am not afraid of what people think of me. I am me and I will not change for anyone even after a entire childhood of bullying – no, I will stand up and fight against bullying. And continue to do so everyday.

What do I ultimately want? Wow, that is a big question. But, what I immediately think of is to be happy. I do not care how much I earn-even if it is nothing, if I live alone or always need support or whatever else. As long as I am happy with what I have and what I am doing then that is most important to me.
From those two options I would rather try and find a different collage that is more specialists in ASD-although from my knowledge so far that is not many near me. Hoping from what Mike said above will provide more answers to this though. It was at first, from watching their video. But having visited I can see things that I may not like and not knowing much about the options of education support or anything available to Adults with autism I am always open to trying new things If they will help me. If not then I just stop having it anymore, and if it helps then brilliant.

Your next paragraph is exactly my problem. I either get people assume having ASD means I do not understand what I am saying or what I want or I get people not understanding what I am trying to ask for or explain. Either way communication does not work. I think I have always had problems of being seen better than I am.
 I also find I am better at communicating with strangers, and with people online. Not sure why it is easier with strangers, it just is. Thinking about writing a letter, I have tried that in the past and the consequences were somewhat disastrous because they did not understand what I was trying to say, without going into details as it was about something completely different.

Again, I really struggle talking to everyone at the collage I am at now, and always have done. I think this would be really hard for me to mention to anyone in collage and there is no one out of collage I have that helps me.

I think now the best option is to look for other collages or mainstream collages with ASD specialism and see if I can go to one of them in September. Or, my other option is to sort out home life and getting support there then return to education when I am ready. As I have already said I am interested in being happy, and if I am not happy somewhere I want to leave. Although learning new things is something I enjoy so I think it would be hard without going to collage.

Thank you again everyone.
Amy 

First of all I want to say how nice it is to hear from someone who is secure enough in themselves to say that they need help and that needing help is not a failing in themselves.

It sounds like you are very self-knowing.  It is clear you realize your current school is not right for you.  So I think the first question is going to be what do you ultimatly want? 

Would you rather stay in your current school and have them make adjustments more suitable to you?

Would you rather find a mainstream school which is more ASD friendly?

Is your heart set on the special school you found? (This one would be difficult and require you to get a lot of evidence to proove why you need this specific school)

Also, have you spoken as frankly with your current school as you have in your posting?  If not, would it be easier for you to send them a letter telling them your feelings (as opposed to in person).  It may be that they are unaware of how badly you really feel it is going.  You have ASD, you are not NT, so you are not going to necessarily express your distress or unhappiness in the same way.  They may incorrectly think you are doing better than you are because of this.

I suspect (and may be wrong) that in your case, it would help if you had a different learners support assistant.  It sounds as if you have not bonded well with the existing one and are unhappy working with them. This may be making you more negative about school. Perhaps you could make a discrete appointment (or write a letter) with the head of learners support explaining how you do not want to hurt anyone's feelings but that things are not working out and explain why.  I am not saying it will fix things, but it could.  Explaining your point of view and how it is effecting you in a calm way could get things turned around.  I have always found that in my child's case it is more effective for them to tell school what is bothering them then for me because you can't say it isn't true when the person effected is saying this is how the school makes them feel.  If you do this approach, the main thing to keep in mind is to not blame them.  I am sure they are not making you unhappy on purpose, it is likely they just do not know any better.  And if you did get them to listen, you could be making any future ASD pupils lives a lot easier.

I really do wish you good luck.

Hi Amy,

Thanks for posting your experience here and sorry to hear you're finding your current college difficult. We have a few options of colleges for students with autism and Asperger's syndrome across the UK: www.autism.org.uk/.../colleges-for-students-with-autism-or-asperger-syndrome.aspx. Please click 'next' as there are quite a few pages of options. 

We also have a database available with all the colleges that cater for students with an ASD: www.autismdirectory.org.uk 

We hope this helps but our team are here to talk to if you need further support: call our Autism Helpline 0808 800 4104 (Mon-Fri 10-4pm).

Best wishes,
Mike, NAS 

Hi Amy,

I thought of something else. Have you any contacts at your local council. They may have a transition team who help teenagers as they becme adults to make sure they have access to the right services and support.

Perhaps you culd email them and ask if someone could see you to see how they can help. If you can get hold of the right person they should be able to help you sort out your college issues.

Which county do you live in? - i could look on their website for you and see if we can find out who there is to contact

Hi Amy,

I would recommend, forget the rat race and enter the slow race, only do what interests you, Geography, forget the rest. You also need a one to one support network, as you have 15 years of Autism to bridge first before you plan any bright-light future. You are obviously struggling and still using the 15 years of camouflaging without the right coping strategies being learnt. Well done for trying so hard to date, but you need more assistance now.

Hi Amy

I feel so sad to hear your experiences and how you are feeling.  Being realistic is there someone in this National Autistic Society who can advise you what your next activity should be and who you can talk to? Maybe they can provide a named support person to act alongside you to help you to get the support you need?  What about your parent or the person who got you through the diagnosis process?  Can they help you by speaking with the Head of the College direct and also in conjunction with the person at the local careers and learning guidance place for your local area?  At your age - can you qualify for a social worker now that you have a diagnosis.  If you do then they should be able to act on your behalf and find the right support for your needs.  Let me know what happens.  Never give up though.  This is a very important part of your life - the change from school to college and then to the world of work. 

Firstly well done on shaing your problems and trying to find a way round.

 My son is about the same age as you and was diagnosed at 17. His first year in 6th form  college was very difficult  - this was the year during which he was diagnosed so he had no support at all. During the year he slipped behind and dropped subjects ( physics - very hard)  then dropped out out , then came the diagnosis,.

He started his first year again  (and physics again), this time with more support and understanding and got on a lot better. He's now on track to complete his A levels this summer.

I guess what I am trying to say is don't give up - keep looking to find the right place for your studies. Why not make a list of everywhere you can get to and what courses they can offer you then try and visit some. It's often surprising which ones are good at support - its not always the ones with the best grade. A special college may not turn out to be the best for you - there may be somewhere better.

I also though at first when my son was going to retake a year this was disasterous, but it turns out lots of students spend 3 years in the sixth form and it was the best decision for him.

Are you are 6th form college or  a different sort of college?