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Where can I go now?

Amy

Hello

I am diagnosed with Autism. I was diagnosed in december 2011 when I was 15. With diagnosis a list of things that would help me was sent to my school. However 1 months after I was diagnosed I was 16 and suddenly this list was irrelevent. Things such as Speach and Language therapy and everything else on the list never happend because in my area when you are 16 all childs services stop and I suddenly do not need the help I needed a month ago. (or so I was told-everything is very confusing to me!) 

I moved up to collage in September 2012 and having not been diagnosed long school casually ignored my diagnoses and did not help me in any way all the way through my GCSE exams. It proved that having a diagnosis did not change anything as for years they said with no diagnosis they can not asses me for having any learning support needs. My diagnosis came from a unrelated place and they managed to ignore it for 6 months and send me off to collage which of course is the natural route for any 'normal' (yes I do hate that word but I am required to use it here) people.

4 months later and I am really struggling. I never wanted to leave school but my school having no 6th form and my age ment I have no choice-even now I would happily start year 7 again tommorow if I could. Ever since I arrived at collage it has been hard. All these promised things to help me ajust and settled in did not happen and indeed I was given a completly different tutor on the first day (when I had met my tutor once so at least I knew him-it was supposed to have been more) who of course knew nothing about me and made the day really hard! The rest of the days have not been much better.

Almost as soon as I started I started looking for alternative places to go disliking where I am so much. They apparently now give me all the support they can which is deffinatly not enough. I get 1 hour 1-2-1 a week with a learning support assistant who specialsises in English. (when I am studdying Maths, Sciences and Geography-he knows nothing and makes me teach him which I find really pointless and unhelpful. He also gives me really  mixed messages because he thinks he knows what he's talkin about when he doesnt) A local school specialising in Autism say I should get at least 14 hours 1-2-1 a week and would have done if diagnosed earlier and I went to that school. Although clearly my collage will not provide this, so I need to go somewhere with more support. 

Recently I went to visit a really specialist collage for people with all kinds of disabilities. I found their website months ago and found they run 4 courses. 1 of these is even called the 'ASC Course' and specificly for people with Autism Spectrum Condition. So 'perfect' I thought-that is what I need, I really want to go there. But the person showing me and my mum round did not agree. He said after getting the GCSE's I have and starting at a mainstreem collage I would not get into the special collage. Also he decided I have no communication issues or learning dificulty/disabilty. I thought this was really unfair having spent less than an hour with me. During this time I did not speak although did point and make some noises when we walked round. It was all very new and I was scared. When he said that I was too scared to speak and disagree with him, so as I will always do I will go very quiet and people just never understand-even this person at a specialist collage. I felt really disapointed and let down.  

Before I went I was also informed by my social worker (who is specialist in children with disabilities) that the collage would not have a course sutible for me (clearly a lie-even I know they do from the website) and a connexions advisor said that I would not get funding and be unable to go. Although we went to visit anyway and just got more bad news. I feel so stuck and alone. It just feels like I have no future because I can not get the support I need to succeed-but I succeded too much at GCSE with no support. 

I am now only doing 2 subjects from my origional 4 after I refuced to go to all but Geography lessons before Christmas and have now started Physics again. I am not optimistic I will succeed highly in any of these-but apparently I will because I really love Geography. According to the collage that makes me succed when I get SO confused in lessons and do not understand tasks so do not do them and the teacher goes to fast so I  miss things or get mixed up all the time. I have similar problems in Physics but I just keep going in because I have to. I feel constantly unhapy but what can I do when noone listens to me?

If anyone knows of anywhere else I could try because I can not stay where I am now and I can not go to the special collage. Please let me know because I just feel trapped.

Amy 

Parents

  • Hello again, thank you for the further replies

    MeMyselfandI. I do not think people were aware of my ASD when I started collage, and I always doubted if some people were ever told. (my chemistry teacher being one-apparently he was and I quote ‘fully aware of my condition’ yet told me off for being early to lessons, chewing (which I do CONSTATNLY if I am  upset in any way) writing in my notebook-something else to help me, and getting confused when he is doing 4 tasks at once! Does that sound like someone helping me? People then wonderd why I refused to go to that lesson anymore… it really is terrible some of the things they say.)

    Do you have any more information about either of those options that I could have a look at? I am open to at least looking at different things right now. Not really knowing what is available I will have a look at something and see what happens after that.

    The social worker I have now is apparently specialist in children with Disabilities or additional needs, but saying that I am only just still a child. But I thought the social worker from the assessment team was better other than not explaining she can only work with me for 3 months and then suddenly I had someone new instead which is the person I have now.  

    It is not just collage that say the right things without doing them, everyone does it. Even staff at my local Autistic group-and I would expect them to know out of all people. I had hoped the group would be brilliant but I am still struggling with it and not going as much as I used to because I find it is really hard.

     

    Mum of 3. Wow, I did not realize this. What did the HQ say about people with Autism in cadets? I doubt my unit will get training as such, especially with me leaving soon. But even if they get information then I am hoping that will help if it is done properly. Unlike it was at collage and it is the same person doing it. But he scares me still (a person from the autistic group I mention above) so I am scared of it going really wrong and ruining things in cadets. Not sure what I can do about that though.

    Too many people wanting to be staff? Tell him to come to my unit, I would love not to be the only one wanting to complain about buzzing all the time! Or being touched in First Aid... oh don’t even get me started on that…

    I am glad he is okay with leaving. It is something he will have known about so it is easy to know when it will be happening and prepare for it, so although it is a change it is a known change which is easier. I believe with enough knowledge in advance about what will happen and time to prepare autistic people can cope well with change. It’s just NT people do not understand this and constantly let us down.

    Corporal means nothing to me. Marine and Sea Cadet ranks are different like he says and we have never been taught Marine ranks (always hard with Marines around all the time) But other Sea Cadets cant even learn the sea cadet ranks so they will not teach Marine ones -  I suspect our staff do not know either. I would love to know them though because I find ranks and rates easy and it would help if I meet Marines or Marine staff at other units or offshore. Could you ask him what the Marine ranks are?
    I am currently a OC-Ordinary Cadet. Very insulting rank if you ask me! I can cope with being OC but hate saying it out in full. Although the syllabus has just changed and I think getting to AC –Able Cadet, the next rank will be hard because you have to get 2nd class first aid and seamanship now. Although I would like to become a AC before I leave. I have just less than a year, it will be a lot of work but it is something to aim for if my unit can teach  me all I need to know in time.

     

     

    Tiredeyes. I know he does. The collage are always saying how they are fully aware I have autism and how to help me but it is all lies. They still can not grasp the idea that I can hear things that no-one else can and I am NOT just trying to get attention I am in genuine pain sometimes. I as I always have done do not tell them anymore and have to suffer in some rooms because they think I am just making a fuss to get attention.

    No, again I have spoken twice to the connexions person but he is not helpful-neither was the connexions person at school. I find the work they do unhelpful and I am reluctant to go. He now decide I have to get a appointment from someone else so I gave up with it.
    What do you mean by supported learning units? Could you give me some more information on this? As you may have guessed student support here is not very good and talking to them is basically a waste of time. It is mostly easier to just suffer with whatever is wrong.  

    Where I am some things end at 16, Like CAMHS who diagnosed me. But others change at 18 like all the child protection stuff and Social Worker. I find it all very confusing. I imagine most of the next year will just be waiting till I am 18 then I can start again and get re assessed by adults and see what they can offer me. Possibly less than I get now but I am at least hopeful it will not change each month like it does now.

     

    Silver100. I agree. I think their needs to be a national service for people age say 14 and a half to 20. So it comfortably accepts people any age between all this gap in are you a child or an adult without age being an issue! I doubt the people in charge would listen to me despite the hundreds of people affected every day by it.

     

    Amy

Reply

  • Hello again, thank you for the further replies

    MeMyselfandI. I do not think people were aware of my ASD when I started collage, and I always doubted if some people were ever told. (my chemistry teacher being one-apparently he was and I quote ‘fully aware of my condition’ yet told me off for being early to lessons, chewing (which I do CONSTATNLY if I am  upset in any way) writing in my notebook-something else to help me, and getting confused when he is doing 4 tasks at once! Does that sound like someone helping me? People then wonderd why I refused to go to that lesson anymore… it really is terrible some of the things they say.)

    Do you have any more information about either of those options that I could have a look at? I am open to at least looking at different things right now. Not really knowing what is available I will have a look at something and see what happens after that.

    The social worker I have now is apparently specialist in children with Disabilities or additional needs, but saying that I am only just still a child. But I thought the social worker from the assessment team was better other than not explaining she can only work with me for 3 months and then suddenly I had someone new instead which is the person I have now.  

    It is not just collage that say the right things without doing them, everyone does it. Even staff at my local Autistic group-and I would expect them to know out of all people. I had hoped the group would be brilliant but I am still struggling with it and not going as much as I used to because I find it is really hard.

     

    Mum of 3. Wow, I did not realize this. What did the HQ say about people with Autism in cadets? I doubt my unit will get training as such, especially with me leaving soon. But even if they get information then I am hoping that will help if it is done properly. Unlike it was at collage and it is the same person doing it. But he scares me still (a person from the autistic group I mention above) so I am scared of it going really wrong and ruining things in cadets. Not sure what I can do about that though.

    Too many people wanting to be staff? Tell him to come to my unit, I would love not to be the only one wanting to complain about buzzing all the time! Or being touched in First Aid... oh don’t even get me started on that…

    I am glad he is okay with leaving. It is something he will have known about so it is easy to know when it will be happening and prepare for it, so although it is a change it is a known change which is easier. I believe with enough knowledge in advance about what will happen and time to prepare autistic people can cope well with change. It’s just NT people do not understand this and constantly let us down.

    Corporal means nothing to me. Marine and Sea Cadet ranks are different like he says and we have never been taught Marine ranks (always hard with Marines around all the time) But other Sea Cadets cant even learn the sea cadet ranks so they will not teach Marine ones -  I suspect our staff do not know either. I would love to know them though because I find ranks and rates easy and it would help if I meet Marines or Marine staff at other units or offshore. Could you ask him what the Marine ranks are?
    I am currently a OC-Ordinary Cadet. Very insulting rank if you ask me! I can cope with being OC but hate saying it out in full. Although the syllabus has just changed and I think getting to AC –Able Cadet, the next rank will be hard because you have to get 2nd class first aid and seamanship now. Although I would like to become a AC before I leave. I have just less than a year, it will be a lot of work but it is something to aim for if my unit can teach  me all I need to know in time.

     

     

    Tiredeyes. I know he does. The collage are always saying how they are fully aware I have autism and how to help me but it is all lies. They still can not grasp the idea that I can hear things that no-one else can and I am NOT just trying to get attention I am in genuine pain sometimes. I as I always have done do not tell them anymore and have to suffer in some rooms because they think I am just making a fuss to get attention.

    No, again I have spoken twice to the connexions person but he is not helpful-neither was the connexions person at school. I find the work they do unhelpful and I am reluctant to go. He now decide I have to get a appointment from someone else so I gave up with it.
    What do you mean by supported learning units? Could you give me some more information on this? As you may have guessed student support here is not very good and talking to them is basically a waste of time. It is mostly easier to just suffer with whatever is wrong.  

    Where I am some things end at 16, Like CAMHS who diagnosed me. But others change at 18 like all the child protection stuff and Social Worker. I find it all very confusing. I imagine most of the next year will just be waiting till I am 18 then I can start again and get re assessed by adults and see what they can offer me. Possibly less than I get now but I am at least hopeful it will not change each month like it does now.

     

    Silver100. I agree. I think their needs to be a national service for people age say 14 and a half to 20. So it comfortably accepts people any age between all this gap in are you a child or an adult without age being an issue! I doubt the people in charge would listen to me despite the hundreds of people affected every day by it.

     

    Amy

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