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Where can I go now?

Amy

Hello

I am diagnosed with Autism. I was diagnosed in december 2011 when I was 15. With diagnosis a list of things that would help me was sent to my school. However 1 months after I was diagnosed I was 16 and suddenly this list was irrelevent. Things such as Speach and Language therapy and everything else on the list never happend because in my area when you are 16 all childs services stop and I suddenly do not need the help I needed a month ago. (or so I was told-everything is very confusing to me!) 

I moved up to collage in September 2012 and having not been diagnosed long school casually ignored my diagnoses and did not help me in any way all the way through my GCSE exams. It proved that having a diagnosis did not change anything as for years they said with no diagnosis they can not asses me for having any learning support needs. My diagnosis came from a unrelated place and they managed to ignore it for 6 months and send me off to collage which of course is the natural route for any 'normal' (yes I do hate that word but I am required to use it here) people.

4 months later and I am really struggling. I never wanted to leave school but my school having no 6th form and my age ment I have no choice-even now I would happily start year 7 again tommorow if I could. Ever since I arrived at collage it has been hard. All these promised things to help me ajust and settled in did not happen and indeed I was given a completly different tutor on the first day (when I had met my tutor once so at least I knew him-it was supposed to have been more) who of course knew nothing about me and made the day really hard! The rest of the days have not been much better.

Almost as soon as I started I started looking for alternative places to go disliking where I am so much. They apparently now give me all the support they can which is deffinatly not enough. I get 1 hour 1-2-1 a week with a learning support assistant who specialsises in English. (when I am studdying Maths, Sciences and Geography-he knows nothing and makes me teach him which I find really pointless and unhelpful. He also gives me really  mixed messages because he thinks he knows what he's talkin about when he doesnt) A local school specialising in Autism say I should get at least 14 hours 1-2-1 a week and would have done if diagnosed earlier and I went to that school. Although clearly my collage will not provide this, so I need to go somewhere with more support. 

Recently I went to visit a really specialist collage for people with all kinds of disabilities. I found their website months ago and found they run 4 courses. 1 of these is even called the 'ASC Course' and specificly for people with Autism Spectrum Condition. So 'perfect' I thought-that is what I need, I really want to go there. But the person showing me and my mum round did not agree. He said after getting the GCSE's I have and starting at a mainstreem collage I would not get into the special collage. Also he decided I have no communication issues or learning dificulty/disabilty. I thought this was really unfair having spent less than an hour with me. During this time I did not speak although did point and make some noises when we walked round. It was all very new and I was scared. When he said that I was too scared to speak and disagree with him, so as I will always do I will go very quiet and people just never understand-even this person at a specialist collage. I felt really disapointed and let down.  

Before I went I was also informed by my social worker (who is specialist in children with disabilities) that the collage would not have a course sutible for me (clearly a lie-even I know they do from the website) and a connexions advisor said that I would not get funding and be unable to go. Although we went to visit anyway and just got more bad news. I feel so stuck and alone. It just feels like I have no future because I can not get the support I need to succeed-but I succeded too much at GCSE with no support. 

I am now only doing 2 subjects from my origional 4 after I refuced to go to all but Geography lessons before Christmas and have now started Physics again. I am not optimistic I will succeed highly in any of these-but apparently I will because I really love Geography. According to the collage that makes me succed when I get SO confused in lessons and do not understand tasks so do not do them and the teacher goes to fast so I  miss things or get mixed up all the time. I have similar problems in Physics but I just keep going in because I have to. I feel constantly unhapy but what can I do when noone listens to me?

If anyone knows of anywhere else I could try because I can not stay where I am now and I can not go to the special collage. Please let me know because I just feel trapped.

Amy 

Parents

  • First of all I want to say how nice it is to hear from someone who is secure enough in themselves to say that they need help and that needing help is not a failing in themselves.

    It sounds like you are very self-knowing.  It is clear you realize your current school is not right for you.  So I think the first question is going to be what do you ultimatly want? 

    Would you rather stay in your current school and have them make adjustments more suitable to you?

    Would you rather find a mainstream school which is more ASD friendly?

    Is your heart set on the special school you found? (This one would be difficult and require you to get a lot of evidence to proove why you need this specific school)

    Also, have you spoken as frankly with your current school as you have in your posting?  If not, would it be easier for you to send them a letter telling them your feelings (as opposed to in person).  It may be that they are unaware of how badly you really feel it is going.  You have ASD, you are not NT, so you are not going to necessarily express your distress or unhappiness in the same way.  They may incorrectly think you are doing better than you are because of this.

    I suspect (and may be wrong) that in your case, it would help if you had a different learners support assistant.  It sounds as if you have not bonded well with the existing one and are unhappy working with them. This may be making you more negative about school. Perhaps you could make a discrete appointment (or write a letter) with the head of learners support explaining how you do not want to hurt anyone's feelings but that things are not working out and explain why.  I am not saying it will fix things, but it could.  Explaining your point of view and how it is effecting you in a calm way could get things turned around.  I have always found that in my child's case it is more effective for them to tell school what is bothering them then for me because you can't say it isn't true when the person effected is saying this is how the school makes them feel.  If you do this approach, the main thing to keep in mind is to not blame them.  I am sure they are not making you unhappy on purpose, it is likely they just do not know any better.  And if you did get them to listen, you could be making any future ASD pupils lives a lot easier.

    I really do wish you good luck.

Reply

  • First of all I want to say how nice it is to hear from someone who is secure enough in themselves to say that they need help and that needing help is not a failing in themselves.

    It sounds like you are very self-knowing.  It is clear you realize your current school is not right for you.  So I think the first question is going to be what do you ultimatly want? 

    Would you rather stay in your current school and have them make adjustments more suitable to you?

    Would you rather find a mainstream school which is more ASD friendly?

    Is your heart set on the special school you found? (This one would be difficult and require you to get a lot of evidence to proove why you need this specific school)

    Also, have you spoken as frankly with your current school as you have in your posting?  If not, would it be easier for you to send them a letter telling them your feelings (as opposed to in person).  It may be that they are unaware of how badly you really feel it is going.  You have ASD, you are not NT, so you are not going to necessarily express your distress or unhappiness in the same way.  They may incorrectly think you are doing better than you are because of this.

    I suspect (and may be wrong) that in your case, it would help if you had a different learners support assistant.  It sounds as if you have not bonded well with the existing one and are unhappy working with them. This may be making you more negative about school. Perhaps you could make a discrete appointment (or write a letter) with the head of learners support explaining how you do not want to hurt anyone's feelings but that things are not working out and explain why.  I am not saying it will fix things, but it could.  Explaining your point of view and how it is effecting you in a calm way could get things turned around.  I have always found that in my child's case it is more effective for them to tell school what is bothering them then for me because you can't say it isn't true when the person effected is saying this is how the school makes them feel.  If you do this approach, the main thing to keep in mind is to not blame them.  I am sure they are not making you unhappy on purpose, it is likely they just do not know any better.  And if you did get them to listen, you could be making any future ASD pupils lives a lot easier.

    I really do wish you good luck.

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