Published on 12, July, 2020
My son has not been officially diagnosed, but has all the signs he is somewhere on the spectrum. In recent weeks he seems to be experiencing some issues around toileting. To the point last night he didn't go to sleep till 2am as he is couldn't stop trying to go for a poo.
Basically he will go to the toilet, think it is just a wee but then end up sitting there for over half an hour as he thinks a poo needs to come out and he is scared of getting off the toilet and having the rush back. Now normally this has been manageable and he has been coping, however last night he finished, got in to bed then felt the need to go back and the cycle started all over again. He did this about 4 times (each time sitting on the toilet for around half an hour) until 2am when I finally managed to distract him when he got off the toilet so he didn't think about it and we managed to go to sleep.
This "obsession" with the toilet has got worse over the last 12 months, he has always had a little bit of anxiety mainly around going to the toilet before going to school and being worried he may need a poo when at school. However this has now escalated and seems to be consuming his life every time he goes to the toilet.
I am just concerned for him, how can I help him overcome this fear, how can we help him get back to a relaxing bedtime. I am also dreading his return to school as his would only be sat on the toilet for around 10 - 15 mins before Christmas, now almost every time he goes he is there for around half an hour. Which will increase his anxiety about being late for school and make him need to sit there for longer scared more will be coming out. It feels like a never ending cycle.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this, is there something I can do to help him?
I've been thinking about this too, I was looking up tenesmus last night as it seemed to describe his issues quite well, he certainly suffers from acid reflux. I'm going to make an appointment with the GP to discuss this. Thanks for the advice.
Thanks for sharing, that's a very reasonable suggestion. There haven't been any accidents, but there's been a lot of anxiety related to his school being dirty and/or dangerous which has progressed into contamination OCD.
I suspect this was mostly triggered by two toilet based events:
1. He found the hand soap in a urinal one time and now worries that any new handsoap has also been in the urinal.
2. He became nervous when a group of senior boys appeared to be acting suspicious came into the toilet. He thought they might having been doing something with drugs, and feared that being in the same room as someone with drugs might harm him.
Anything that has been at school or come into close proximity to anything that has been at school is dirty and dangerous.
It wasn't until now that I'm wondering if going to the toilet has become part of his cleaning ritual.
Yesterday, he become more fixated on blowing his nose and cleaning his ears. He said that boys at school were using too much deodorant and he couldn't get it out his nose and worried it might be dangerous. He's done this a few times lately, although the reasoning has changed somewhat: using chemicals in science; the possibility that someone might have drugs near him; someone's hair brushed his face; someone stuck their tongue out near him; and so forth.
I'm starting to think this might all be related. A purge of sorts. Or maybe I'm overthinking it?
Slightly embarrassing but sharing might help. An incident aged 9 has shaped my behaviour a lot in the last 40 years, meaning I'm a bit focused on ensuring I "go before I leave home" and worry about where I can go while I'm out etc.
Has there been a specific incident you think might have made him focus on this so much? Or is it somehow based around him worried about needing to do both every time he goes?
Ross-Mod has covered some of the anxiety/obsessive side, but there’s also another aspect- autistic people are prone to GI issues. Tenesmus (the feeling of needing to go constantly) is a common symptom of multiple GI problems. If everything else is normal then it likely is just anxiety, but it may also be worth speaking to the GP about bowel troubles, if he doesn’t feel like he can ‘hold it’ there may be other things going on.
I know this is an old thread, but my son appears to be going through something very similar and I'm at a complete loss over what to do. Did you ever figure out anything that helped?
Hi NAS71196,Sorry to hear you and your son are having difficulty with his anxiety. There are a couple of resources here on the NAS site that I think might be helpful to you - we have a section on mental health with pages on anxiety - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/anxiety - and obsessive compulsive disorder - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/ocd - with information, support and further resources on these conditions. It may be a good idea to speak to your GP about this as well if you haven't, as they may be able to make a diagnosis and/or suggest treatment. Best wishes,Ross - mod