Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I am the mother of an 11 tear old with Asperger's who was diagnosed when he was four. Frankly I feel like I can't carry on. He behaves wonderfully at school and has found the transition to high school much easier than we had hoped. At home he is a nightmare (but not all the time). He swears incessantly (I think he likes the sound of the words), argues, and when he gets angry he bangs doors and kicks the furniture. He can't amuse himself very often. He has never has a friend and relies on me and my husband for constant entertainment. He likes to play on video games but gets extremely cross with them when he can't do something. He won't play out. He is grumpy and rude a lot of the time. I find him infuriating. He soils himself, wets the bed and won't go to the toilet at aone. The only advice anyone ever gives is "Write a social story" These don't work. I am sick to death of the whole situation and can't really see the point of anything - is this going to be the rest of my life. I fantasise about running away with my daughter but am not quite horrible enough to do that. I know I should just focus on him but I just don't know how to help.
Has anyone else ever felt like giving up?
Hi, we all feel low at times and fantasize what if our child were not on the spectrum, how easy life would be, but would it really?!
If he is settling into mainstream secondary well, that is fantastic news you and the school are already obviously helping him hugely! for him to get over that secondary school hurdle is somethinng alot of mums out there could only dream of do not under estimate everything you have already done for your son to get him this far. you can do the rest just try and find some you time if at all possible.
it is common for kids to unleash a bit of frustration when they get home he has been on his best behaviour with all the stress of school all day and does not feel he has to put on a show for you, as i have seen suggested many times but it does work a bit of transition or cooling off time between school and home a club or bit of football my son loves his trampoline when the weather allows, he also loves the computer games this helps him unwind, he does sometimes get frustrated if he cannnot do something i just try and guide him away , yes with a bribe works wonders, i use anything from making pancakes together to group lego, he normally needs a few minutes alone time before he gets out of the funk and joins in. A magazine on a saturday is a common bribe in our house to allow us a coffee in the coffee shop, bliss!
My son is an only child and althogh he does have one or two friends his dad and i are his best friends at home lego partners, football coach to just watching him on the trampoline, hard as it is sometimes i think it is a great thing they want us to play with them, it keeps the bond between us strong i feel that is really impoprtant for our kids as they need our understanding and support more than most.
Chin up, you can do it, you already have been!