Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I am the mother of an 11 tear old with Asperger's who was diagnosed when he was four. Frankly I feel like I can't carry on. He behaves wonderfully at school and has found the transition to high school much easier than we had hoped. At home he is a nightmare (but not all the time). He swears incessantly (I think he likes the sound of the words), argues, and when he gets angry he bangs doors and kicks the furniture. He can't amuse himself very often. He has never has a friend and relies on me and my husband for constant entertainment. He likes to play on video games but gets extremely cross with them when he can't do something. He won't play out. He is grumpy and rude a lot of the time. I find him infuriating. He soils himself, wets the bed and won't go to the toilet at aone. The only advice anyone ever gives is "Write a social story" These don't work. I am sick to death of the whole situation and can't really see the point of anything - is this going to be the rest of my life. I fantasise about running away with my daughter but am not quite horrible enough to do that. I know I should just focus on him but I just don't know how to help.
Has anyone else ever felt like giving up?
Hi Mrs Baker - have you a support system to help you out when things get too much? It can make a big difference, maybe helping to take the pressure off your son, daughter and yourself. Does your son get support at school? Scorpion makes the point that your son needs to let the pressure of the school experience out when he comes home. There are a number of posts on this site which make that point. Scorpion's also right about bribes. My son responds to tangible rewards. Yes, there have been times when I felt things were too much for my son and I. When he was little it was because I didn't know he had autism. When he was diagnosed I had to learn/understand about it. Apart from a day nursery who didn't know about autism, we had no support whatsoever. It was just me and him. When he started school he went to autism-specific one and things improved for both of us. I've found that if my son's "behaviour" deteriorates it's usually because he's unhappy and/or stressed. Finding out why that's the case can show the way to alleviating that problem.
bw