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Help! Violent meltdowns getting worse!

NAS39314
over 4 years ago

My 13 year old son's violent meltdowns are getting worse

 I am still sore a  week after the last one. He hasn't laid a hand on me but throws everything and anything at me,  boots, scissors, mugs anything that's in reach. He also self harms during the meltdown.

I do what they say and dont shout and try to calm him. He refuses to talk about it a day or so later once everything is calm but he wont discuss it and shuts down. He wont even try to take himself out the situation or go to his room to calm down.

He is now not engaging with the child psychologist, wont talk to anyone about his feelings.

I'm at a loss and feeling really low as I cant find a way to help him.

Anyone else going through this or have any advice how to get him to find away to not lash out?? Any online support groups for struggling parents? 

X

  • over 4 years ago

    Hiya, I've been through the same situation as you, my son also 13 Goes through violent meltdowns, I used to stress so much, no amount of calm talking or safe spaces would help I also make the house safe by locking away sharp objects or anything that can cause harm. It won't stop him throwing and breaking things but makes it a bit safer for you all.

    I've learnt over the years to leave him to have his meltdown, to get it out of his system but also it helps him to self sooth, so he can learn to calm himself. To many that would seem horrible but it works for us and him. 

    He was put on sertraline about a year ago and his moods have improved greatly, he had grown into a really sad lad but now you can have a bit of a laugh with him and holds a good conversation.

    Maybe try a memory foam pillow as they are much harder but still soft enough to not hurt himself and allow him to use it to punch or kick if he feels the need too. I know someone who got their child a punching bag in the garage so their son could left of steam before it gets to meltdown mode.

    My son also stopped talking to his doctor, he doesn't give eye contact and pulled his jumper over his head and would hide in the corner. Slowly he was able to come out of his shell

    Hope this comes as some comfort that you are not alone and people share the near same situation as you.

  • over 4 years ago

    Hello NAS39314, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through some hard times with your son. 

    We have a page on our website that centres around physical challenging behaviour. Including the possible causes, as well as strategies and interventions you can adopt to improve his behaviour:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/challenging-behaviour.aspx

    You may find it useful to have a look at our behaviour guidelines and general behaviour page:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/guidelines.aspx

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour.aspx

    You may also like to contact Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk who are the UK's leading charity regarding children and young people's mental health and wellbeing.  They have a helpline offering confidential support to anyone concerned about the emotional problems or behaviour of a child or young person.  Their Helpline number is 0808 802 5544. 

    If you have any more queries, you may like to contact our Autism Helpline team.

    You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm).Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.