Autism and Romance.

My son is nearly 30. He was diagnosed as having autism when he was 6. He has done really well and now lives independently about 100 miles away from me ( I live in a remote area). He has carved out a life for himself volunteering and attending classes. He has one male friend whom he met at college and they keep in regular contact. However my son would dearly love to have a special woman in his life and cannot get over the hurdles to meeting someone that his autism presents. I am really not trying to matchmake ( yes I am) but If any parent is, like me, heartsore for their lonely child and knows a lovely young woman on the spectrum, please reply. 

  • Hi.    I wouldn't concentrate on him having an autie girlfriend too much - just concentrate on him finding someone he clicks with.       I'm aspie and I have an NT wife - for almost 30 years so far,

  • I second that - I'm autistic and living happily with my neurotypical partner Slight smile

  • Hello and thank you for your replies. I am glad to hear about your happy relationships but just a quick look through these forums shows the level of isolation and loneliness experienced by many autistic people despite tremendous efforts on their part to meet a loving partner. My son has tried dating sites, attended classes, gone to group meetings and suffered through evenings in pubs completely out of his comfort zone and has yet to have his first date. Hence my heartfelt plea. I dearly wish that he could be as lucky in love as you are, and yes, if you know a lovely young woman not on the spectrum who would like to meet my son  that would be great too!

  • Hello,

    I'm nearly 25, and I have never had a girlfriend (or had my first kiss).

    Really, the type of person that your son should be looking for, should be someone like him. They will understand why he is like he is.

    Try not to worry too much, he'll meet someone...eventually.

  • Hopefully, the right person will come along in time.

  • Hi. I am autistic and have a NT partner too. We have been together over 10 years.. I didn't have a relationship until I was 26 either. We met through a shared enjoyment of spending time in the mountains. Does your son have an interest? Could he join a club or attend a fitness class? Perhaps concentrating on developing some friendships through shared interests could help with feelings of isolation and loneliness with the potential of meeting someone special but without the pressure of dating and having to be in situations that are stressful for him. Hope this helps.... I do really feel for you too and hope for you both that your son finds a group of friends in which to be himself and belong. 

  • Thank you all again for your supportive input... I continue my quest.