A School Dilemma

wow, thankyou all for posting, it is much appreciated. i do think that as parents we really beat ourselves up at primary stage as we do understand the implications more. i am aiming to avoid problems at secondary school of isolation and such like, i do think if kids manage in mainstream at primary they are expected to manage in secondary even though it is an entirely different experience and can become much more difficult.

there are pros and cons for both at the end of the day it  is all to do with knowing your child and doing the best you think you can do. I guess there is no absolutley right answer just going with what you think is best. you have all helped enormousley

i do wish there was an across the board understanding of the difficulties autistic people face and generally people accepted them. maybe there wouldnt be the need for discussions like this and autism would not be so much seen as a difficulty more just as "normal" as neurotypical and all the strange things they do.

I went to a mainstream secondary and primary school. I loved my primary school, although the school refused to acknowledge my difficulties - which, it has to be said, did not cause me any suffering at the time; my parents suffered more than I did!. However, looking back I am resentful that the school did not help me beyond occasional one to one help with maths, comprehension and P.E. I remember having to do coordination exercises in Year 6, when I was taken out of class by some TA.  I was called 'emotionally immature' and 'an enigma', with a huge discrepancy between different skills.  I also had OCD symptoms, which came and went, but were not out of control at this stage.

Secondary school was a mixed experience. I enjoyed certain aspects of it, but I became increasingly isolated and obsessive. Hardly any help was given, but I passed all of my GCSEs (apart from Maths) and got top grades in my A levels, meaning that I could study History at Uni. If I had gone to a special school my experience would have been very different, perhaps better in some ways, but worse in others. All in all, I am glad I went to mainstream, but for some this is not an option.

Yes when I was teachingin  a special school the maximum I had was eight students - but even the I had two other teachin assistants. We made sure they didn't get isolated by mixing them with othre students - depending on their level of need - for options.

The biggest problems come in secondary because the focus is different- mind you I still think 'going to inclusion support' for all day every day is worse than a speical school even for primary. Many parents used to say they wish theyhad transferred their children earlier.Hope this helps Paul

Am I right in thinking that special school tend to have much smaller classes? The one my brother attended does and I know of at least another one in my area that does. For those of us with sensory issues, this works better than being in a class of 30+.

I think whether a special or mainstream school is chosen for those of with HFA / Aspergers, there will always be good and bad things about both, in general.

I went to mainstream and struggled a lot at secondary - when I really started having issues.

One other factor to consider with special schools is the other intangible knowledge teachers, staff and associated parents have. Teachers will know where to go to get specialist support (speech and Language, physio, occupational). They are also very good at helping with getting parents respite care. Specialist equipment is more often obtained by children in special schools. Also there are usually very active support groups around these schools where parents can meet and find out that they are not the only ones with the same problem.

Finally when it is time for your child to move on they will know which local facilities will be able to help your child best.

Having spent some time recently in mainstream schools I wonder how inclusive is it to have a child with autism in a class for registration and then send child to the 'inclusion team' where the child spends the rest of the day before being picked up from school by mum

I know the child would have got a far better social (and therefore surely inclusive) deal at the local special school.

Good Luck

Paulz

Hi again, Azalea, I understand where you're coming from, as I did have the support of two great teachers in my final years at primary, but based on what you've said about your sons needs HappyDays, specialist schools would be better if only because -most- of their staff have had training in dealing with his difficulties, such as being more aware of his whereabouts due to his lack of awareness regarding space and danger, or even simply more patient at his lack of understanding while communicating.

Simply put its better safe than sorry, specialist schools are filled with staff who's job is to know these things, whereas in mainstream, its more hit and miss. Yes you can get the odd amazing staff who'll look after you and support you, but they can't always be around when you need them there, physically or mentally at every moment of the school day, leaving you with others who are often ill-informed or don't know what autism is, who may then proceed to handle the situation wrongly, which then leads to even more distress on the kids part, which aggrivates them more, which inevitably leads to things getting out of hand.

Best of luck getting your son the school and support he needs HappyDays.

Thanks for your reply Azalea, I suppose to me at least for my son, the more i think on it, a mainstream setting would just be too much of a gamble, some of the things Kalojaro said really hit home to me mostly because ive seen it happen. It would be great if all teachers were like your english teacher and SENCO they sound great. The reality in my experience up to now is that SENCOs at the schools in my area are aware of the support they should give, they are just rubbish at doing it, here you really have to fight for support. Example: my older daughters maths teacher at her Academy did not even Know what ASC was.(shocking). The thought of my boy in a mainstream environment without good support terrifies me to be honest. Ive seen with my daughter how distressed a child can get without the right support. His needs are quite complex and without good well educated understanding staff who want to support him i think it could only end in failure for him.I dont want that. In Theory Inclusion at mainstream is a wonderfull thing, in reality though i do question the practicalities of it.

Good luck with the novel

thankyou for your advice KaloJaro,

i chose a special school for my daughter for exacty the reasons you mentioned in your post, i really thought it would be the right setting for her at the time i was trying to obtain a statement.  The powers that be were also saying mainstream was best for her. Even though it was a long hard fight i eventually managed to get her the provision she needed (shes happy so i feel the fight was justified) I guess as a parent you get really beat down by all the conflicting advice you recieve, there are so many people telling you that what you think is not right you begin to doubt yourself. In my heart i know my son needs specialist support not educationally (heck he will probably be more capable than they are in that respect) but as an individual. i do not relish the fight again but i will fight for my boy. All of the highly educated qualified people do not know my boy as i do.  Thankyou for giving me a kick up the ass. I am now going to absolutley follow my instincts, i will look at the specialist provision which is available where i live from the perspective of accomodating my son. My boy needs to be happy and be around supportive and understanding people, not made to feel like hes different all of the time.

Hi Happydays,

DO NOT send him to mainstream!!!!

Yes, mainstream -may- be better at educating him at a rate suited to his intelligence, but face it, when you're surrounded by kids who will pick on you for not looking/sounding/acting like them, and teachers who think of autism as a disease, your son would be MUCH better off at a specialist school.

Take it from me, I have Aspergers Syndrome and my primary school SEN/deputy head (same person) refused to even acknowledge there was anything 'wrong' with me despite several massive meltdowns over the ten years she knew me (and trust me, it got to the stage where I had to have mum come into school and stay with me otherwise I'd climb the bloody fences and just run in a random direction. That started in reception.) Their main arguement for overlooking any issues? I was one of the smartest children in the school. For some reason this makes people think you should be 'smart enough to be normal', which is utter nonsense.

A specialist school will have people better trained to meet his needs and better yet, the other kids will have a better understanding of how he behaves and will be more open to interacting with him.

Good luck.

i am kind of thinking that a special school would probably be better mostly because his needs are quite complex, i have already done the rounds of all the school when i looked for my daughter. .Even though the special school my daughter is in now is fab, i think ill do the rounds again looking at them from the perspective of my sons needs, it cant hurt. Thanks you guys!

Yikes! That all sounds terribly complicated :( You poor thing...

In my *limited* experience its the teacher as opposed to the school that makes the most difference....... My son has had one teacher that was absolutely ABISMAL and one that is amazing at the same school... unfortunantly that probably helps very little.. is it possible to contact several schools and have a chat with them? you may find that actually you find a mainstream that is very accomodating OR a special school that is perfect :)

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

hi Happydays - it's certainly stressful.  A special school - autism specific(?) would understand your child's needs.  Perhaps a special school, but not autism-specific, that was really clued-up on autism also would.  I think from what you say a special school which could meet his needs would perhaps be better, at least for a while anyhow.  My son went to 2 schools for children with autism.  He was in the "middle" stream at the 2nd one,  if you see what I mean.  Mainstream wouldn't have worked for him, so I didn't have that decision to make.  If it were me in your position then I'd err on the side of caution + see how he progresses at a special school.  But that's just me......