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A School Dilemma

HappyDays

Hello all,

Im in a bit of a predicament. My son age 4 is currently at home, he was in a mainstream school nursery mostly because he is very very bright, this didnt go quite to plan as the teachers were pretty useless and admitted they had Zero experience  of dealing with  Autism and didnt accommodate his needs.

My 2 older Daughters were home educated for years as the primary school they attended really let my one of my daughters down to the point where she was really really distressed and refused to enter the school grounds and the other was bullied terribly-My daughters have returned to schools 4 years later mostly because for social reasons my younger daughter who now has a statement is now at a special school, and loves it there, my older daughter is at  mainstream academy with an sen unit and things to be honest are not brilliant and im finding again that im having to fight for support!

Why does it always have to be so difficult?

I have another younger son 3 who is in a pre school who really likes it and im applying for a mainstream primary  setting where they seem to be well experienced in ASC ( although im not really a fan of mainstream school generally and how they  deal with asc up to now)  as i feel this is the most appropriate environment for him educationally and at the minute  i do i think he will cope really quite well.(although time will tell),

So back to my 4 year old son, i just cant resolve myself to what will be the right setting for him. Its really bothering me. I dont think being sat home all day with me will particulary be the right thing for him particularly his social and communication skills, but i dont want him in a a setting where he is stressed out anxious and his needs are not being met. i am generally quite uncomfortable  with mainstream setting mostly because of my experiences.

i know that my son will require a statement as he has sensory issues, poor spacial awareness, is not yet showing any signs of the awareness needed to toilet train, does not communicate effectivley as everything makes no sense as yet ( but he does speak quite clearly), does not really understand what you say to him most of the time, has many issues surrounding mealtimes to top it off has no sense of danger at all. 

He is a very bright little boy who is educationally very capable. The psychologist has said that the younger children in special schools may not really be the right peer group for my son and seems to be pushing towards favouring mainstream school, yet i feel a special school could probably better meet all of his other needs . 

im getting so stressed out about what the right thing to do here is, i know how important it is to get it right for him,i dont want to add a whole  lot of other problems and go down the path i went down with my daughter with him because i chose the wrong setting. My main priority is that he is happy and looked after.

 

4 kids 4 different settings, stress stress stress

Any Advice welcome

 

Parents

  • Hi again, Azalea, I understand where you're coming from, as I did have the support of two great teachers in my final years at primary, but based on what you've said about your sons needs HappyDays, specialist schools would be better if only because -most- of their staff have had training in dealing with his difficulties, such as being more aware of his whereabouts due to his lack of awareness regarding space and danger, or even simply more patient at his lack of understanding while communicating.

    Simply put its better safe than sorry, specialist schools are filled with staff who's job is to know these things, whereas in mainstream, its more hit and miss. Yes you can get the odd amazing staff who'll look after you and support you, but they can't always be around when you need them there, physically or mentally at every moment of the school day, leaving you with others who are often ill-informed or don't know what autism is, who may then proceed to handle the situation wrongly, which then leads to even more distress on the kids part, which aggrivates them more, which inevitably leads to things getting out of hand.

    Best of luck getting your son the school and support he needs HappyDays.

Reply

  • Hi again, Azalea, I understand where you're coming from, as I did have the support of two great teachers in my final years at primary, but based on what you've said about your sons needs HappyDays, specialist schools would be better if only because -most- of their staff have had training in dealing with his difficulties, such as being more aware of his whereabouts due to his lack of awareness regarding space and danger, or even simply more patient at his lack of understanding while communicating.

    Simply put its better safe than sorry, specialist schools are filled with staff who's job is to know these things, whereas in mainstream, its more hit and miss. Yes you can get the odd amazing staff who'll look after you and support you, but they can't always be around when you need them there, physically or mentally at every moment of the school day, leaving you with others who are often ill-informed or don't know what autism is, who may then proceed to handle the situation wrongly, which then leads to even more distress on the kids part, which aggrivates them more, which inevitably leads to things getting out of hand.

    Best of luck getting your son the school and support he needs HappyDays.

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