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A School Dilemma

HappyDays

Hello all,

Im in a bit of a predicament. My son age 4 is currently at home, he was in a mainstream school nursery mostly because he is very very bright, this didnt go quite to plan as the teachers were pretty useless and admitted they had Zero experience  of dealing with  Autism and didnt accommodate his needs.

My 2 older Daughters were home educated for years as the primary school they attended really let my one of my daughters down to the point where she was really really distressed and refused to enter the school grounds and the other was bullied terribly-My daughters have returned to schools 4 years later mostly because for social reasons my younger daughter who now has a statement is now at a special school, and loves it there, my older daughter is at  mainstream academy with an sen unit and things to be honest are not brilliant and im finding again that im having to fight for support!

Why does it always have to be so difficult?

I have another younger son 3 who is in a pre school who really likes it and im applying for a mainstream primary  setting where they seem to be well experienced in ASC ( although im not really a fan of mainstream school generally and how they  deal with asc up to now)  as i feel this is the most appropriate environment for him educationally and at the minute  i do i think he will cope really quite well.(although time will tell),

So back to my 4 year old son, i just cant resolve myself to what will be the right setting for him. Its really bothering me. I dont think being sat home all day with me will particulary be the right thing for him particularly his social and communication skills, but i dont want him in a a setting where he is stressed out anxious and his needs are not being met. i am generally quite uncomfortable  with mainstream setting mostly because of my experiences.

i know that my son will require a statement as he has sensory issues, poor spacial awareness, is not yet showing any signs of the awareness needed to toilet train, does not communicate effectivley as everything makes no sense as yet ( but he does speak quite clearly), does not really understand what you say to him most of the time, has many issues surrounding mealtimes to top it off has no sense of danger at all. 

He is a very bright little boy who is educationally very capable. The psychologist has said that the younger children in special schools may not really be the right peer group for my son and seems to be pushing towards favouring mainstream school, yet i feel a special school could probably better meet all of his other needs . 

im getting so stressed out about what the right thing to do here is, i know how important it is to get it right for him,i dont want to add a whole  lot of other problems and go down the path i went down with my daughter with him because i chose the wrong setting. My main priority is that he is happy and looked after.

 

4 kids 4 different settings, stress stress stress

Any Advice welcome

 

Parents

  • wow, thankyou all for posting, it is much appreciated. i do think that as parents we really beat ourselves up at primary stage as we do understand the implications more. i am aiming to avoid problems at secondary school of isolation and such like, i do think if kids manage in mainstream at primary they are expected to manage in secondary even though it is an entirely different experience and can become much more difficult.

    there are pros and cons for both at the end of the day it  is all to do with knowing your child and doing the best you think you can do. I guess there is no absolutley right answer just going with what you think is best. you have all helped enormousley

    i do wish there was an across the board understanding of the difficulties autistic people face and generally people accepted them. maybe there wouldnt be the need for discussions like this and autism would not be so much seen as a difficulty more just as "normal" as neurotypical and all the strange things they do.

Reply

  • wow, thankyou all for posting, it is much appreciated. i do think that as parents we really beat ourselves up at primary stage as we do understand the implications more. i am aiming to avoid problems at secondary school of isolation and such like, i do think if kids manage in mainstream at primary they are expected to manage in secondary even though it is an entirely different experience and can become much more difficult.

    there are pros and cons for both at the end of the day it  is all to do with knowing your child and doing the best you think you can do. I guess there is no absolutley right answer just going with what you think is best. you have all helped enormousley

    i do wish there was an across the board understanding of the difficulties autistic people face and generally people accepted them. maybe there wouldnt be the need for discussions like this and autism would not be so much seen as a difficulty more just as "normal" as neurotypical and all the strange things they do.

Children
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