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Dealing with obsessions

Stitch

Hi, my son Is 11 and has always had intense obsessions, when he is “on” a particular topic it is all consuming and very distracting for him. He is due to start high school in a few weeks and I am really worried about how obsessive he is with Pokemon at the minute. He knows every one of them and will talk about them constantly, he doesn’t go anywhere without his fact book and favourite cards and doesn’t really understand when others aren’t interested in the information. 

This particular obsession seems to be taking a lot of his focus at the minute and it’s like he has zoned out a lot of the time because he is thinking about it all the time. How do you deal with obsessive behaviour? My husband thinks we should take the cards etc away or at least limit them so that he has to do other things. We do try this and explain that it’s not a punishment but even when he doesn’t have them with him he will still act out battles in his head and talk about it constantly. 

Any advice on handling obsessions in a way which supports him but also encourages him to switch off from it would be greatly appreciated 

thanks 

Parents

  • Hi,

    I'm no expert in parenting autistic children but I was once an autistic child, and I think that anything you do that tries to "enforce" the behaviour you'd like to see risks resulting in quite a lot of distress, so I'd caution against it. From what you've said I think you already know this.

    Even as an adult, and I don't think this applies only to autistic adults, I find that deciding to stop focussing on one thing and instead focus on another really has to come "from within" - but nudges and incentives from outside can help encourage this (though it can take a long time).

    The key might be to somehow link what you want him to focus on with what he loves; for example, if you want him to focus on science homework, ask him which of the Pokemons would be good at science & how they might approach his particular bit of homework?

    I could easily be talking absolute rubbish, but I know for instance that my childhood obsession with radios propelled me through a career as an engineer; his obsessions might do likewise if channelled (though in my case I channelled myself and wouldn't have taken kindly to anyone trying to "steer" me!).

    You know your son of course, but I'd suggest that everyone will be happier if you can avoid having to be proscriptive. If he can stomach it, of course you could see if he will agree to the logic of setting aside time for various things (appealing to logic might be a good way "in").

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    I agree with this ^^^

    Try to find ways to stretch his interest into other things - physics & science are great to get him to explain how all their powers could work in reality - and he might see how other things can be interesting too.

    Limiting what he finds his relaxation in is taking away his relaxation - therefore increasing his stress and anxiety.

    You might find that once he's assimilated everything there is to know about Pokemon he'll move onto something else.

    Are you or your husband techy or nerdy enough to challenge his appetite for knowledge?  Are you able to indulge his thirst for data?

  • in reply to Plastic

    Thank you both, really good to hear your thoughts on this. You’re absolutely right, I know that ‘forcing’ him away from Pokemon is fruitless and would likely cause more distress. I really like the Idea of trying to link it in with science etc as he does like science.

    I have tried things like coding etc to encourage him to channel his focus on something more educational but the interests tend to be fiction based, previous to Pokemon it’s been Mario, Kirby etc. He did have a love of Greek mythology for a while which was brilliant, he learnt so much and taught us so much too. I think my concern about this current obsession is the ferocity to which it has taken hold. It’s constant, perhaps because he is off school.

    thanks again for your advice, we’re going to head in to town today to look for some activities and will try to link his interests in to them as you’ve suggested 

  • in reply to Stitch

    Awesome!  I hope you're successful and that he has a great time!

    I'm a Pan-Nerdist - I'm into all technology - I did Lego, Airfix, RC models, electronics etc. when I was young - I became a chartered engineer - building rockets and running nuclear particle accelerators.   Knowledge can go a long way.

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  • in reply to Stitch

    Awesome!  I hope you're successful and that he has a great time!

    I'm a Pan-Nerdist - I'm into all technology - I did Lego, Airfix, RC models, electronics etc. when I was young - I became a chartered engineer - building rockets and running nuclear particle accelerators.   Knowledge can go a long way.

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