Self-injurious stimming?

Hello I’ve read the comments and you all seem like very wise parents!! But please from the mind of an autistic person please don’t always expect us to recognise our feelings! Usually an autistic person is very ecstatic or in a good standard zone, maybe you should teach him ways that make it easier for him to tell you if he is stressed! Since a lot of the time my mood can be thrown off by people asking me how I’m feeling I always reply I don’t know and go into deep thinking and it makes it worse this is because autistic people can’t take all of the emotions we feel and narrow it down into one specific and then take that and put it into a sentence it’s just too much for us! I strongly believe that making it easier to tell you he is stressed will help you resolve his stress instead of the behaviours that follow :) I believe this because I can’t even tell my own mum when I feel “ off “ or  overwhelmed because talking to parents can be a scary thing even with something like feelings which everyday people find easy and I still find it scary and hard and I’m 18!!! 

Maybe if you have a toy or a blanket or a colouring book specifically for stressed times and you say when ever something feels strange to you just go get this item and when he has it you will know somethings up and it removes the stressful aspect of communication!! Then when he has his item you can proceed to do things to calm him down, even focusing on the item might help or scribbling and ripping paper. But yea my main point is that communicating is the hardest thing possible it’s what makes us autistic people so overwhelmed and upset it’s the fact that we can’t do it and if we can we can’t do it comfortably. 

Some things that help me calm down even at 18: ripping paper, scribbling on paper, create repetitive hand movements to use as stimming instead! I know this might seem strange and it might just be me but being in a small space aka a cupboard or under a bed in the dark with my phone or something, I don’t know why but being in a small space where there isn’t much going on creates a very safe feeling environment which makes me feel happier apply this with a little bit of rocking or something and I will be calm in about 10-15 mins, sometimes this can happen after a big load of stress and I’ll hide away but sometimes I’ll just need space but if kid does hide best not to disturb them as it’s embarassing for us. 

Hello I’ve read the comments and you all seem like very wise parents!! But please from the mind of an autistic person please don’t always expect us to recognise our feelings! Usually an autistic person is very ecstatic or in a good standard zone, maybe you should teach him ways that make it easier for him to tell you if he is stressed! Since a lot of the time my mood can be thrown off by people asking me how I’m feeling I always reply I don’t know and go into deep thinking and it makes it worse this is because autistic people can’t take all of the emotions we feel and narrow it down into one specific and then take that and put it into a sentence it’s just too much for us! I strongly believe that making it easier to tell you he is stressed will help you resolve his stress instead of the behaviours that follow :) I believe this because I can’t even tell my own mum when I feel “ off “ or  overwhelmed because talking to parents can be a scary thing even with something like feelings which everyday people find easy and I still find it scary and hard and I’m 18!!! 

Maybe if you have a toy or a blanket or a colouring book specifically for stressed times and you say when ever something feels strange to you just go get this item and when he has it you will know somethings up and it removes the stressful aspect of communication!! Then when he has his item you can proceed to do things to calm him down, even focusing on the item might help or scribbling and ripping paper. But yea my main point is that communicating is the hardest thing possible it’s what makes us autistic people so overwhelmed and upset it’s the fact that we can’t do it and if we can we can’t do it comfortably. 

Some things that help me calm down even at 18: ripping paper, scribbling on paper, create repetitive hand movements to use as stimming instead! I know this might seem strange and it might just be me but being in a small space aka a cupboard or under a bed in the dark with my phone or something, I don’t know why but being in a small space where there isn’t much going on creates a very safe feeling environment which makes me feel happier apply this with a little bit of rocking or something and I will be calm in about 10-15 mins, sometimes this can happen after a big load of stress and I’ll hide away but sometimes I’ll just need space but if kid does hide best not to disturb them as it’s embarassing for us. 

Amazing how much I can read your words and fully understand what you are saying. As a child I spent most of my childhood hiding, in cupboards under coats hung up under tables at infant school, under my bed rather than in it, behind the sofa, even high up in trees, I felt safe being surrounded, enclosed, I imagine the modern tight fitting clothing works in a similar way?

same as The weighted blankets, 

Thank you for being so specific as an autistic who can relate your feelings so well, we are all different but each share so much just in different levels, 

Our insight is so valuable to parents struggling to imagine what their child feels, the child often doesn’t even know as you said, I rarely knew myself, my reply was always “ I’m ok, “ regardless of how I felt. I cannot ever remember saying I was sad or upset, or even expressing any feeling in words, 

thank you. ()