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Some advice please

jrandall10

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is well. Our daughter is 10, she has autism and sensory processing disorder. We started home schooling her in January of this year after her being in main stream school for 5 and bit years but her anxiety was just getting worse so we made the home schooling decision. Now 98% of her behaviour is so much better, she's less stressed and like a different child. One problem has arose that is causing upset at least once a week, this is her not knowing what to do with her spare time. She collects teddies, has making sets, Lego, her iPad, has minecraft figures and games to play but she just has no interest in them. Her iPad is the only thing she has concentration on for a long period but even gets bored. She constantly says I need a hobby cause it's what people do in their spare time but she then says she starts something gets bored n then stressed. I've told her that it's ok to just play on her iPad or watch tv but she's having none of it. She asked to learn the guitar and have a tutor but then says I will het bored of that. Even having money stresses her cause she doesn't know what to spend it on, we are fine with her buying what ever even if it sits un-touched but she gets stressed that she's letting us down. She also keeps saying her thinking winds her up but she can't explain what she's thinking. I've tried visuals but it's no good. Thank you in advance for any help xxx

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  • in reply to DongFeng5

    Thank u, these are all brilliant suggestions. I will have a chat with her and see what takes her fancy. I think you are right once something is done she wonders why she has done it as it will only just sit there. I think I just really need to do stuff and encourage her to join in. Thank u again so much

  • in reply to jrandall10

    She sounds quite bright to me. Perhaps it is the case that once she has figured out how something works / is done, she then loses interest as there no longer seems to be a point?

    What does she enjoy?

    How about (there are already some great suggestions from the others, so I'll try not to repeat those):

    1. country walks ( lots of scope for gaining a special interest, identifying plants, trees, fungi, insects, plus gentle exercise in a natural environment, shown to be beneficial to mental health)

    2. Volunteering or attending a training workshop (age appropriate) with your local Wildlife Trust

    3. Painting or photography - perhaps macro photography if she has an eye for detail. Creating images might allow her to express what she is thinking and feeling, and the way she sees the world.

    4. Cooking, including kitchen knife skills, as an important life skill which everyone should learn in order to prepare them for an independent life, with a healthy diet -wholegrain foods even out blood sugar, which again helps with mood/mental health. 

    5. Learning a language, perhaps something outside the mainstream usual choices, maybe a non-roman character set. 

    6. Since she spends hours on her iPad, maybe get her interested in software development? It's a common career choice for people on the spectrum. It needn't cost more than a modest PC, since the best software development tools are pretty much all free (or steadily becoming so) these days. Try python.org and see how she gets on. 

  • in reply to Cassandro

    I have tried really hard to encourage any ideas she comes up with but then she will get negative and say whats the point xx

  • in reply to jrandall10

    I hope she can find some common interest with other children, or indeed with adults. Do you have a home education group near you? It's a good way for parents to support each other, and can have produce some interesting activities. (Disclaimer: I am not a parent.)

    Boredom was a problem for me as a child. The way out of too much thinking is experience. Books were a good refuge, but I wish I had had music lessons. Have you mentioned that if she learns guitar, she will never run out of songs to play and even can write her own?

  • in reply to jrandall10

    I'm going to add pets.  Perhaps an interest in looking after and being friends with animals could be beneficial.

    My suggestions sound very low tech because I believe that too much time being spent on computers is harmful for children.