This is my first post. My son is 10 and newly diagnosed ( 2nd may) for just over a year now my son's violence has got worse. It's now a regular occurrence weeks it's every day. We have tried everything and i am lost. He has started attacking his teachers aswell (he's in mainstream). My partner has 2 days off a week and they are when my son's at school i am left with my daughter who is 10 months and him the rest of the week which is when he is at his worst. I feel scared of being left with him. Everything is a weapon. Am i wrong to be scared of my 10 year old my family say it's stupid. What do i do?!
Hi I am not a medic, but a retired adult male engineer, only recently diagnosed Aspergers (ASC) myself. I have never really been violent but have had my share of 'meltdowns' over the years. Looking back I can see that my meltdowns have origins in my inability to express something, or the failure of others to understand 'what I'm really trying to say. Aware now of my condition I am better able (I hope) to see this happening and just shrug my shoulders and (hopefully) move on ... but I can imagine as a 10yr old it is not that easy. Can I suggest that he may be trying to communicate something quite subtle but quite important to him ... and failing to do so.
I feel very sad for you and for him, he probably just wants to love you and genuinely doesn't know how.
Very best wishes to you both. Ian
he does sometimes tell me i don't understand. I wanna help him and we do everything in our power but i think everyone has a breaking point.
What is it that he says when he's telling you what's wrong? What are the difficulties he mentions?
He just says i don't understand but when i ask what's wrong it is everyone else's fault even if he is the one who started whatever it is or he doesn't wanna talk about it or after a meltdown doesn't know why he's done it. I am always calm i will try and understand and try and reflect. We suspect he has pathological demand avoidance (PDA) which isn't as well known as the normal autism if that makes sense without offending anyone.
It makes sense and doesn't offend me.
Here's a recent blog about PDA that I've linked to before - it's a bit critical, but also mentions techniques specific for PDA: