Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all.
Does anyone else lives in a flat?
I am curious to know if any one else has or ever had downstairs neighbors where there are more people in the property than should be living in there. Or who makes comments about you and the way you live, or the way they percieve you to be and live.
What I have is, a middle aged couple where the female claims to be physically disabled despite me seeing her walking perfectly fine with her crutch well above the floor and who is always shouting and swearing; and a male who is very large in terms of stomach size and who are both clearly compulsive liars.
Before I moved into this flat me and my dad knocked on their door to see who lived there, the female answered and was very nervous looking and quiet voiced, when we said that I might be moving into the area soon, she very quickly said that it was just her and her husband living there and that her husband was her carer.
So I chose to move in because it seemed as though it was just a middle aged couple that would be living there, who didnt seem any trouble from how she portrayed herself. Also when I viewed the flat the floors and walls felt very solid.
However, as soon as I moved in my flat last year November, almost every morning there would be hammering in the bedroom early in the morning. I could hear many different voices, constant shouting, children screaming and crying and doors slamming. This has been a regular thing ever since then and still persists every day like clockwork.
I ended up telling my parents and they came with me to their door and I knocked on it and they opened the door. I asked who the tenant was and asked if they could stop the door slamming as it was getting too much it was literally every 10 minutes.
The man who said he was the tenant said to me it wasnt them it was the people next door to them. I didnt believe them nor did my parents. My dad told them if it keeps happening we will get in touch with the Environmental Health department, who can tell where the noise is coming from.
Since then the door slamming has never happened again, however I keep hearing comments made about me, and I make sure I am careful to not jump to conclusions before making the judgement; the list so far is:
- I woke up at 10am one day and the female said "It's a strange time to get up at 10am"
- "He is only young, can't be much to worry about"
- One day their bathroom door slammed and the woman said "he's talking" and he replied to her "I've already slammed the bathroom door"
- "I'm going to mess with his mind"
- "Is that him in the kitchen, if it is he is making a lot of noise" (I was washing up)
- "He is the type of person who always has his ear to the wall, listening to everything you are saying and doing"
- One day I had my girlfriend over my place and we opened the curtains because it was sunny and the female said "they are looking at me from the window, they try to break me, oh they do"
- "He is in the bath at 3 o clock, what a weirdo" (I had been on an english course and wanted to unwind and relax.
These are some of the comments so far that I have written to remember, not all that have been said. Also, I have one of those 'click, click' bathroom light switches, and they do to because I hear it go, and almost every time I use the toilet and use the switch 'click, click' as it turns on or off, they do theirs twice straight after, but twice 'click, click.. click, click' in rapid succession.
I know it sounds petty but it makes me uncomfortable. I have never been loud or any type of nuisance since moving in, I have always had any music or tv on quietly, I even asked them the day I knocked about the door slamming if there were any issues with my noise and they both said no, the female even said "if there was an issue I'd tell you to your face" so I dont feel their behavior is a retaliation of some sort.
I feel that what ever I do or say I cannot win with these people, I feel they are being unreasonable and selfish, not considering the reality that I am an extremely considerate neighbor who is quiet and friendly, I myself used to have upstairs neighbors who purposely kept me awake until 5pm every night, and I mean every night. So I am very considerate moreso because I know what it is like to have an upstairs who is selfish or cruel.
I have gone to my landlord privately about the issue because I do not want repercussions if they find out I am affected by their behavior, some times I think they dont even realise I can hear their comments.
They said they may look at rehousing me due to my disability (Aspergers') but said that they thought 'I' was the problem, that I am sensitive and struggle functioning 'in general' which I think is very rude, and anyway I have a part-time job and do all my own cooking, cleaning and have done since 18 years of age, so I don't know where they have got that information from.
Sorry for the massive amount of information, I just really feel so affected by all of this and really feel I need to share with others.
Charlie, 24
London
Hmm, not sure if flats just for people with ASD would really help - it's not exactly like everybody is the same then... They would probably annoy each other just as much. Someone gets up at 5 am every day but goes to bed at 10 in the evening, someone else can't get out of bed until 12 and is up until 4 in the morning... If someone in the flat above me had a bath at 3 in the morning it would definitely wake me up - slightly annoying if everything else is o.k. but massively annoying if I'm stressed, not sleeping well anyway etc... There are nasty people of course, disturbing others deliberately for whatever reason, but I find just the normal living noises nobody can really avoid can be enough to drive each other mad. The way the ceilings/floors are constructed seems to applify noise - I have no idea what my housemate actually did in her room every evening but certainly not moving furniture around, which is what it sounded like from my bedroom below... And once that happens you become very sensitive quite easily, I guess, also during the day when your own noises would otherwise perhaps distract you enough.
If the noises prevent you from sleeping and you haven't tried earplugs then I'd say that's definitely something you should give a go. Not everyone can tolerate that feeling but we get used to lots of things. They need to go really inside, not sticking out and feeling like they may actually fall out any moment - may take a bit of practise to get them in and trying different sizes/shapes but I was totally amazed once I found some super-small ones that would fit. Doesn't make your neighbours nicer but perhaps it helps you to relax a bit about them. At least from what you have written what you heard them say it doesn't sound like they are dangerously nasty in a way that you would need to fear them (except for the messing with your mind bit perhaps, in case they were actually referring to you, but hopefully that was just a stupid phrase). Otherwise, their opinion about you, whatever it's based on, is probably something best ignored. You know what you have achieved and that it's rubbish what they say. They may just love a bit of gossip, they would probably say similar things about anyone living there, so try not to take it too personal.
Good luck with the next flat, in case you do move!