What is the point of it all

DETRITUS

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste;

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

Do not walk in front, for I may not follow.

Go over there somewhere

Speak your truth quitely and clearly;

Be open minded, but do not lean forward

Or your brain may fall out.

Know that there wil be good days and there will be bad days;

And this is one of them.

Never accept a drink from a Urologist.

Always dismantle and clean the dog before going to bed,

But avoid the use of Spot remover.

You may never see him again.

You are a child of the universe;

It is a small world unless you have to paint it.

Do not wish for everything unless you have a really big cupboard

And do not worry about the pace of life;

Concern yourself only with the sudden ending.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons:

Sleep well, if you cannot sleep well, practice more often.

Borrow from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Remember if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

Teach him to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink himself stupid

It is always darkest before the dawn.

That is the time to steal your neighbours newspaper.

Be gentle with yourself;

Bear in mind that depression is anger without enthusiasm

And good health merely the slowest way to die.

Never argue with a fool for he is doing the same.

Know that if at first you don't succeed,

Skydiving is not a good idea.

And that timing has a lot to do

With the outcome of a raindance.

Always remember that all is not lost

Though I haven't seen it for some time.

Be yourself; if you cannot become wiser, try to be older.

Aim, as I do, to live for ever; so far, I'm doing all right.

Never stand between a dog and a lamp post

And never hit a man with glasses;

Always use something larger and heavier.

And remember that some people are only alive

Because it is illegal to kill them.

A closed mouth gathers no feet;

Nature abhors a vacuum cleaner,

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy

And remember that your sole purpose in life

Is to serve as a warning to others.

Go far and start as soon as possible.

Author: Les Barker

 HI The Hopster, Give it time, there's plenty of work you could do , there has to be something that matches your skills/interests, I think work is more interesting if you can maybe combine an interest in your work. I've an interest in history and railways, so I could see myself working in a (railway) museum, only thing is not many  railway museums near here. I do sometimes volunteer at the Nene Valley Railway, only problem with that is voluntary work won't pay the bills, won't get me off ESA. I also do the Poppy Appeal as my fella got me into that as he's a veteran with combat PTSD.  I enjoy driving and listening to music, so I'd maybe like to check out the water for HGV driving (blame Fiona off Eddie Stobart Trucks and Trailers and Lisa and Mia from Ice Road TRuckers for that). Now I've been recently diagnosed with ASD perhaps I'll get extra help to find work and then to stay in work, as over past 10 years work has been at best erattic.

AS regards the dating/ltr I've found out that there are dating sites for people with ASD, (tho I don't know if they may also put up some fake profles as can other dating sites. I did have one or two dates as a result of dating sites, tho nothing spectacular. I've found that some of my best friendships have come form social media or interest forums, that's how I met my fella. The only thing with that is I seem to have a concentration of friends in the West Midlands , and I'm about 50-75 miles from them.  I do have a few locally.

I won't say life is perfect as it's not and is perhaps more difficult with an ASD, but are you getting help from services tailored towards folks with an ASD. Please speak to your doctor about your feelings.  
         

Hi TheHopster

I've been where you are now without a diagnosis, I felt something was wrong and reached out for help when I was a bit older than you are now. I got no support.

25 years on I discovered I was on the spectrum last year.

The national autistic society has an e-befriending service. Also in some areas a befriending service, in person.

The befriending service was not available in my area, and almost gave up. So I thought I would see how the e-befriending service goes, expecting it to last for a few months and it fizzle out.

It has really made a big difference to me, I guess it depends on who your befriender is and how you get on with them.

I hear alot on here about no possibility of a job, I have never really had an issue with that getting a lucky break when I left school, a local company offered a job to my teacher, but put them in touch with me as he did not want it.

Even with success in my working life, I still felt the same way you do as it was friendships and relationships which were most important for me.

Please speak to your GP about your feelings, depresssion, anxiety are big problems for me

Random

I agree with a lot of what Oblomov says except the last bit. I am now happy (but not totally carefree) because I have finally got a diagnosis and can see why I have had so many problems in the past. I now accept myself for what I am and have enough of a social life and work life to keep me interested. Somehow, I have ended up married! and now even have a grand child. All of these things are possible and you can find out that you still have a lot of choices even though you have problems. Life is like a puzzle that is to be solved.

There are some firms and careers that are good for us to work in - you will find that there are lots of other people (with or without diagnoses) in work that enjoy being the quiet specialist who gets on with the job and has enough outside interests.

Hi TheHopster, I think the fact you've posted on here indicates you still somewhere have a bit of hope that your life might be better than you fear.  If so, I believe that hope is justified.  I've recently been clinically diagnosed at 55 with both Asperger's and severe depression (for which I don't take medication) - but I had both, and other related problems, thirty-five years ago when I was your age at university.

I'm not about to give you a pep talk about how wonderful life is and how everything will be fine.  There have been - and still are - many days in my life, especially in middle-age, when I too have felt life is overrated and barely worth living.  But if I were 20 again, and had a diagnosis, I'd certainly want to access all the support I could and try to make a go of it.  I know that service availability varies across the country but I hope you're accessing all the support you can.  Besides specialist autism services, what about university counsellors or personal tutors?  There is at least more understanding of Asperger Syndrome now than in my youth, when virtually nobody (including me) had even heard of it.

Just because you don't have friends or a relationship now doesn't mean that will always be the case.  I had no friends at all during most of my grammar school life, and only casual acquaintances in university, but I did make a few close friends in my twenties and one of them became a partner with whom I've lived for 27 years (and yes, it's a difficult partnership - like most marriages!)  For me, the breakthrough was the full independence I gained when I left my parents' home completely at 22, though it meant living in a grotty bedsitter for a while.

The ways in which your Asperger's affects you will no doubt be different to mine.  We're all different.  But when I was your age at university, I was so socially phobic (not lazy) I could not even use the toilets in the halls of residence which were shared with a bunch of particularly boisterous trainee PE teachers.  Any attempt at socialising would cause my hands and voice to shake.  These and (what I only now recognise as) other Asperger-related problems always prevented me landing a job commensurate with my university degree.  But maybe if I'd had the support now being offered to me (rather too late) I would have been more successful both in employment and the social world.

Life, for most people, is a constant challenge of struggling to overcome boundaries, but they are different for everyone.  My father, for example, had both his legs amputated in World War Two at the age of eighteen. The media bombard us every day with illusory images of a perfect life but I've never got to know anyone well - whether autistic or not - who is actually carefree and happy.  Indeed, when pressed on the point, several friends who appeared quite content told me they actually did not care whether they lived or died.  But so far they've chosen to remain living.