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What is the point of it all

TheHopster

What is the point of it all? This life thingy is rather overrated isn't it? 

There's a harsh reality that's crept upon me. The reality that no matter how hard I try, I'll always have boundaries. And they're harsh boundaries. It's not a life worth having. 

My autism means even at 20 years old I'm bound to a life of boredom and misery. I have no friends, no chance of relationship and I'm struggling in my university degree. I have very few hobbies to speak of, struggle to speak to my own family members and more. 

The thing is if I lived in some sort of bubble I'd be fine. I could have an interest, in let's say birds and take that interest further. But I don't. I like things that normal people like (I don't mean to sound hurtful using the word normal, but I suffer from it so I'm using it). I don't live in a bubble though. I know I have limitations, I know what aspergers does to me, I know what it means to me. 

I then think to what my future life could be like. I could be working either in a warehouse or an office. Both options sound bad. I'd still struggle to speak to people, I'd still struggle to make friends, I'd still struggle in day to day activities (oh btw did I mention I still live with my parents?). 

At the age of 80 I could be living in a care home, barely visited by anybody and sitting there waiting to die. I'm nearly 21 and I'm sitting here waiting to die. Why wait? 

I refuse to accept my life like this. I can't change it, but I'm not just accepting it. Therefore, I have made a decision. This decision is to be in a situation where I never have to face any of these realities of later life. They won't apply to me considering what I'm planning. 

Cheerio 

 

Parents

  •  HI The Hopster, Give it time, there's plenty of work you could do , there has to be something that matches your skills/interests, I think work is more interesting if you can maybe combine an interest in your work. I've an interest in history and railways, so I could see myself working in a (railway) museum, only thing is not many  railway museums near here. I do sometimes volunteer at the Nene Valley Railway, only problem with that is voluntary work won't pay the bills, won't get me off ESA. I also do the Poppy Appeal as my fella got me into that as he's a veteran with combat PTSD.  I enjoy driving and listening to music, so I'd maybe like to check out the water for HGV driving (blame Fiona off Eddie Stobart Trucks and Trailers and Lisa and Mia from Ice Road TRuckers for that). Now I've been recently diagnosed with ASD perhaps I'll get extra help to find work and then to stay in work, as over past 10 years work has been at best erattic.

    AS regards the dating/ltr I've found out that there are dating sites for people with ASD, (tho I don't know if they may also put up some fake profles as can other dating sites. I did have one or two dates as a result of dating sites, tho nothing spectacular. I've found that some of my best friendships have come form social media or interest forums, that's how I met my fella. The only thing with that is I seem to have a concentration of friends in the West Midlands , and I'm about 50-75 miles from them.  I do have a few locally.

    I won't say life is perfect as it's not and is perhaps more difficult with an ASD, but are you getting help from services tailored towards folks with an ASD. Please speak to your doctor about your feelings.  
             

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  •  HI The Hopster, Give it time, there's plenty of work you could do , there has to be something that matches your skills/interests, I think work is more interesting if you can maybe combine an interest in your work. I've an interest in history and railways, so I could see myself working in a (railway) museum, only thing is not many  railway museums near here. I do sometimes volunteer at the Nene Valley Railway, only problem with that is voluntary work won't pay the bills, won't get me off ESA. I also do the Poppy Appeal as my fella got me into that as he's a veteran with combat PTSD.  I enjoy driving and listening to music, so I'd maybe like to check out the water for HGV driving (blame Fiona off Eddie Stobart Trucks and Trailers and Lisa and Mia from Ice Road TRuckers for that). Now I've been recently diagnosed with ASD perhaps I'll get extra help to find work and then to stay in work, as over past 10 years work has been at best erattic.

    AS regards the dating/ltr I've found out that there are dating sites for people with ASD, (tho I don't know if they may also put up some fake profles as can other dating sites. I did have one or two dates as a result of dating sites, tho nothing spectacular. I've found that some of my best friendships have come form social media or interest forums, that's how I met my fella. The only thing with that is I seem to have a concentration of friends in the West Midlands , and I'm about 50-75 miles from them.  I do have a few locally.

    I won't say life is perfect as it's not and is perhaps more difficult with an ASD, but are you getting help from services tailored towards folks with an ASD. Please speak to your doctor about your feelings.  
             

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