Building Confidence with Phone Calls

Hi,

Trying to build some confidence to make phone calls. Have had a very difficult evening. Picked up the courage to complain about a chinese meal I had bought, but they gave me wrong dish. Was initially met with excuses, that I should have called yesterday, but by time sat down to meal, restaurant was closing. Got a vey negative response, was told manager would call me in 2 hours.

Waited a couple of hours, was stressed out, but decided to spend time waiting to sort through my bank statements. After about 2 and hours, horrifed to discover fraudulent cash withdrawls on my bank account to tune of several hundred pounds over six months. Phone the bank, was put in a queue for 40 minutes, and my stress levels went extremely high.

Finally got through to someone to go through transactions, to be told I have some transactions I am unsure about. I said no, I have some transactions which are fraudulent. After 20 minutes, finally got through to fraud team, who could not give me any detail, but said they would look in to it. Asked if they would be calling me, but no, I have to call them again and go through the whole process.

It took a lot of effort to phone, and have been trying to convince myself if I phone I can get things sorted quickly and reduce my stress and anxiety.

I phoned chinese restaurant, who I expect would fix the simple error. I was totally shocked at their attitude, excuse after excuse. Told manager was out, but then he magicly appeared mid conversation in background. They offered to replace dish if I bought it back, I said I will do it Tommorow as it is too late for me now. Girl on the phone was passing messages, and started laughing and simply said I don't think they like you (the management) and made a reference saying I am making things more difficult. They then claim they never made mistake, even repeated the order which is correct, but that is not what I received. I thought it would be a simple call to sort it out.

Just totally shocked at being treated so bad.

Has really hit me hard, have just returned to work after suffering from stress and have a meeting with occupational worker tommorow. 

I really don't know why life has to be so difficult

  • Thanks for all the replies, I don't know why, but my feelings with the restaurant have got much stronger than I would usually expect them to be. There are much bigger issues I should be focusing my efforts on, it's almost like the feelings of my bigger issues are being reflected on this smaller thing. 

    Have been trawling through my emails and bank statements to account for the unexpected transactions. I have found a "reason" for most. That has settled me down, now I don't throw out any receipts, and they all go in to a small shoebox which must have around 12 years of receipts. I traweled through the top receipts, and have only found one receipt for £100 which I had already accounted for. Has dented my confidence a bit.

    Will have another look some other time, it would help to re-assure me, if I could fine one or two of the other receipts.

    I think you are right Sox, I should have approached the bank better. It didn't help being put on hold for 40 minutes in those awful queuing systems. I wish they just gave an option for them to call you back, but keep your place in the queue, if you have been on for 5 minutes or more.

    Actually, I know why having worked in the telecoms industry briefly, it is simply to reduce call volume, as many people will abandon the calls after a certain time. 

    Random

  • gramit 108, it's important that you and other dissatisfied customers take your business elsewhere because this is the only effective way of making them take notice. Sometimes just complaining all the time doesn't really make an impression because they just become immune from it and come out with the same old excuses.

  • I can appreciate how stressful you have found making these phone call because I have experienced the overwhelming horror of having to sort stuff out that needs sorting out and in some ways it is harder over the phone because it seems so unnatural. But the thing is you are building skills and confidence by doing this because and you do at least have the satisfaction of knowing you are behaving in a responsible and adult way, even though it can be very daunting. In fact, I would say that you really are quite heroic because being on the AS makes you that much braver than a regular person in doing these things. Good for you, random, I think you can pat yourself on the back.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Life is hard in lots of ways but if you are stressed then it becomes even harder. I takes time to work through your issues and I suspect that you may feel much better now than when you felt before you went off sick but you are still not at a good or normal level of stress.

    The chinese restaurant is a case where I would complain, as you did, but then simply take my custom somewhere else if they did not apologise. There is nothing much to be gained with battling them, if they want to argue then find another takeaway restaurant. Alternatively, use this as a nudge to take control of your food and do a bit more cookery - it is therapeutic as it is a distraction and it is something that you can do so you might get a sense of achievement out of it.

    Unexpected bank transactions are a different type of problem. Are you actually sure that they are fraudulent? In any case, it can sometimes be better to approach a bank with an enquiry e.g. "I have some transactions on my statement that I don't recognise - I think they might be fradulent - can you provde me with the details please?" will get more co-operation than a belligerent complaining approach.

    I suspect that you are not out of the woods with your issues yet. Take your time and recognise how far you have come but I suspect that you have some way to go.

    'sox