New to Spectrum

Hi my son is 3 years 3 months and I am having the same problems. He got a diagnosis at age of 2 but since turned 3 his behaviour and everything has got worse. I constantly get pinched all the time and bitten, kicked everything really. He arm flaps and high pitched screeches when he is exciting (it's so loud it gets everyone's attention and is becoming a bit of an issue) constant melt downs and we can't work out why. I have attended a few courses such as sensory and more than words but am still waiting for a behaviour specialist to get in contact. He goes pre school every morning and has a 1 to 1 teacher and on a wed morning he attends a specialist nursery called tracks which is for autistic children. I have no communication or understanding apart from screaming really and take me to a room! just wanted to share my experience. 

hi

have you cut fizzy drinks and sweets out of his diet. it wont do any harm and may show any additive issue. he could be ASD only time will tell.

3 1/2 is a funny age. has anything new happened in your sons life. as others say make sure your consistant.

a timeout room can work but at 3 1/2 a corner will do. have simple rules that he knows.

look up about supporting pre school kid into school. just remember he is not hitting you to be bad. maybe a punch bag.

funnily it was one of our non autistic kids who was like your son. does he have loads of energy.

Thats really interesting ive not even thought about that, the reason i understood was to see if sugars and artificial colourings are responsible for his hyperactive moments. But ive cut these out and nothings changed so with what your saying i will have a read of that as my son eats alot of fruit, i never dreamt that it may be having a negative affect on him.

Thanks alot for you message i shall have a look into this.

Presumably the gp has suggested the diet diary because of the asthma? There are people that believe that there is a link between food intolerance and behavioural issues too. Personally I have intolerance to a lot of fruit and vegetables and also have ASD. I'm not sure whether there is a connection between my mood and behaviour but I've always thought that I feel better when my intestines are working better. There are various diets available and I've ended up following some of the suggestions from http://fedup.com.au/

This is an area that attracts all sorts of opinions and it is not at all clear whether it actually benefits people or what, if anything, is the scientific explanation behind it. I suspect that there is something in it and know that I have learnt something about what I can't cope with - apples make my stomach ache and tomatoes make my tongue swell up! I've also learnt that my digestive system copes much better with cooked vegetables than raw salads.

I totally understand what your saying an agree. I have in the past done this and I am trying to get new boundaries that i am comfortable with and i know i will stick with. My problem is that my son has bronichial asthma and lile this mornong he is getting worse with it so he has needed carrying down the stairs. This seems such a small thing but its actually such a contradiction to when he is physically well. I try to get him to walk up and down the stairs alone. Now My gp has the belief of him been on the spectrum i am at a loss of what i should be doing because he physically cant do things for himself wen his chest is bad.. but he can when hes well. Oh its just such a rollacoster trying to do whats best without giving him mixed signals. 

Agree and support everything NLM and Crystal have said. Can I add a message about being consistent? One thing I eventually learned as a parent (I'm the aspie in the family, my kids don't have problems like me) was to be quite careful before saying yes or no to a child's requests. If you say yes on one occasion then you may have to say yes on the next occasion as he may get confused/upset/angry if the "rules" keep changing. Also, only say no if you are prepared to follow through and hold your line. One of the worst things is to say no and then change your mind - he will get confused and will also get the message that if he makes enough fuss then you are in the habit of giving in.

Thanks every one, I have got a 'routine' from nursery so i know what they do there exactly on a daily basis. I have just got lots of art things so I can involve my little one in making a similar timetable for us to use at home so he feeling involved in the process of the new change i shall try with him.

I sometimes prefer just leaving the house with him and going to visit family to take some of the strain off me at home but this doesnt change his ways with me lol. I am soo exhausted with everything having to alway be at his demand he doent even like me doing normal housework when he notices i arent sat in the same room as him lol. Some family just say i give into him but i really dont see it like that as if i tell him im busy at the moment he goes into a fit of aggression and starts trying to damage things. I have been very teary the last couple of days its so painful seeing him like this soo small and not having a clue how to try help him.

A diary is the best thing to keep i did the same so by the time it came to our assesment i had 6 months worth to show them to give them an idea of what he was going through i know its hard im sure your being as firm as possible with your son remember your the one who sees his behaviour on a daily basis as crystal says routines are a must with my son too at your sons nursery i dont know if they do them but a family surport worker mite be able to help also look up pearents as first teachers its a like a course where  the family surport worker comes to your home once a month and can put a plan together to help surport you and your son it really helped me whilst i was waiting for nursery placement i dont know if they do it when the kids are in nursery though but i would recomed pearents as first teachers to any one x

Jsust a suggestion for you to consider.  You are trying your very best + sound like a good mum to your little 1.  Sometimes it's worth going at a slower pace, observing if poss what causes the triggers : changes in routine, sensory issues such as certain noises, smells, lights, tastes, textures?  Anxiety/tension at nursery can be bottled up whilst he's there + then let out in the safety of his own home.  A lot of establishments don't understand autism, altho some say they do.  My son responds well to a slower way of doing things.  He has loads of routines from the moment he wakes up till the moment he goes to bed.  Little things that he likes doing, such as what order things are done in,folding his clothes acertain way, what time he has breakfast etc.  So try not to be in a rush (I'm not saying you are).  Simplify things, keep to a routine each day that he understands, check how good the nursery really are.

Tanya, maybe your son is agressive to you because he feels safe expressing his feelings to you!

Could be a compliment in a way, though I hope he finds better ways to release/avoid anger and frustration!

Hi thanks for your reply.

My son speaks all to well for his age, he is very intelligent too. My GP only gave me his belief on Monday after only seeing my son once 2 weeks previous. My son attends nursery and has done since e was 1, they have never had any concerns about him and say that he is like all the other children his age apart from been more forward. This week they have witnessed my sons aggression when i have picked him up and they are shocked how different he is with me.

My GP said i have to keep a diary for some weeks of his diet, moods and aggresion etc to build up evidence if you like. He also asked me to record his aggression if i could. I must admit i am on day 3 of the diary and it is the same things i have wrote only getting more often with his aggression towards me. He is at the point now where I am covered in marks all round my neck from him pinching it and bruises on my legs from him punching and kicking.

I feel like i cant last many more weeks of this before i next see the GP. But im affraid there is nothing he can do without more evidence and a longer period of the diary.

My sons dad and i are seperated and hes abroad, he says i need to be more firm with him and that i let him do this because he isnt like it with anyone else.

Hi Tanya and welcome first of you are not alone I know it's hard I have a son who is 3 he has autism he can lash out at me for no reason or when his having a bad moment he will do it go back to your hip and ask if they can refer you to the social communications team as my son was refers to them it can be a bit of wait though I had to wait 6 months but I was referd by a speech therpist as was already having other tests if you look on Google for local help centres they be able to offer some help Don't give up get back on to your gp I dont know if your son talks but maybey try and speak to him when his having a good day ask him why or what makes him feel angry maybey invest in a cushion for him but that's his own one that he can hit out on or scream into maybey take him with you when you get it so his involved with picking it out hope this helps good luck x