Not getting anywhere

I had some counselling sessions just before I got diagnosed. I found it useful to talk to someone who didn't argue back and let me get my thoughts in order. I guess I practiced telling my story and getting my words in the right order. My counsellor had no agenda or particular goal and mainly just let me talk.

Doing counselling finding it quite helpful my councellsor is really good I am doing it privately but only paying £10 for a hour / sometimes a hour and a half the therapist does it in her home in a private therapy room there is her daughter in the house when i do the sessions as I do them about 7.00 pm most times but I don't mind really I don't really trust that she is not listening through the door I hope that her mum. ( my therapist ) has said to her not to listen in I always speak quitely during sessions anyway normally unless I am upset angry eg which I am ATM but yet I will still try not to let me true emotions show tomorrow.  Think I am trying to come to terms with the twins eg 

Hi Sez,

Hang in there, tomorrow is not far away. What sort of therapy are you doing?

Feeling really down and upset today got therapy app for counarking tomorrow but that seems ages away even thoigh its not that far 

I can't push myself in to get a diagnosis its down to the CMHT there is nothing I can do and I don't really care much anymore got the pregnancy to think about and it doesn't change who I am if I am autistic and it will be christmas soon I really want to enjoy Christmas its always a very diffucult time for me and I do find myself getting very anxious I now can't take any meds cause of risk to baby really scared finding out tommorow weather its more then one and if everything is all ok as people will know on here I do have anorexia and I do really find eating hard but now I have a reason to eat more even though it is going to be very tough. 

Do you think this news might push you towards getting a diagnosis sorted out? It won't change who you are but I expect it will help the medical people deal with you more appropriately.

yes thanks :) i still don't know 100 % but pretty sure ill keep it / them I'll keep u updated and yet u know whata happening I'll know more tomorrow when I have scan :) haven't told boss at work yet but going to have to as my job is very fast pace so I could be putting myself at risk and the baby if I don't tell him 

Is it safe to say congratulations then?

It sounds as though you have thought things through and know what you will be comfortable with. It sounds as your plans to keep working full time will be interrupted!

:-)

I really don't know what to think ATM its a miracle really as I am on the pill and I am very careful so for this to happen ' I believe it must of happen for a reason I believe everything happens for a reason my GP said I am gaining extra weight early on and that there is a chance that it could be twins / triplets this really would be so uncommon bit will just have to wait and see I am not going to make a decision until after the scan though I think once I see the scan I will want to keep it / them so not going to be a easy decision to make and it goes against what I believe in to have a abortion and I could not go through the pregnancy and then have adoption no way could I do that thanks guys for all your support 

OK, I'm struggling to know what to say here as you may want congratulations or you may be thinking OMG what do I do now.

You have to end up with an outcome that you are comfortable with. It is your choice and it will be you  that has to cope with your decision.

There are lots of people out there who are willing and able to help. We can help point you in the right direction and tell you what the different agencies can do for you. What are your thoughts at the moment?

No I haven't :((

Have you got someone to discuss your pregnancy with?

I cant cut back on my work that isn't possible if I asked to do that I would loose my job and then I would feel terrible not having a job so I can't do that :( I don't work weekends and I just want to be on my own all the time in my room with the door shut watching tv or music but this is not good as I am isolating myself I don't ever watch tv in the lounge with my dad where I stay at the weekend. I just found out I am preg to so trying to come to terms with that ! 

Sez I was diagnosed with Austim/Aspergers in mid to late 20's. when I was diagnosed it help example a lot of things, a scase of relief, (like, the way a acted over changes over my routine, the loudest I didn't like. Sez sleep and food comes under it. Only liking certain amounts of food etc. I kept myself to myself.

My carer has also told me its harder to spot pin female's because its that so much more rarer. That would example your GP problem

I use to work f-t, found it to stressful, i now work p-t, it could be both effecting your sleep etc, if your finding work to stressful maybe cut back on them.

Female ASD sufferers are harder to spot than males and it's also rarer so that is one possible explanation why nobody has spotted it before.

ASD is a fairly benign thing to have. It doesn't progress and, in fact, the more you learn about it and understand how to live with it the better. Over time, you may start to think , "oh that is just my ASD" so I will have to do this in this sitation. Sometimes this will be to grin and bear something. It may be that you are in a group situation and finding it confusing and hard work so you can learn to single out a single person to deal with and effectively break up the group a little bit.

it is possible that the ASD is the root cause of all of your other anxieties, depression and behavioural problems. Once you start to understand how to tackle this you may find that a lot of your other issues melt away. :-)

I expect catering could be a good job for you as I expect you are very conscientious about the rules of hygiene and about doing things correctly. There are common ASD traits to prefer routine and to follow the rules correctly. Being on the spectrum isn't all bad, there are recognised strengths to the condition and ASD people can make very good employees.

Thanks for all your good advice I do catering and I am female 

Hi Sez,

Marjorie, and myself, are examples of people who feel much more comfortable knowing that we have autism. I have lived for 56 years before anyone suggested that I had it. Autism is an odd thing that can be difficult to spot but once you have identified it then it might explain lots of things that were a mystery before.

Everything you say seems to confirm the idea that you are on the autistic spectrum. I suspect that you will benefit from a formal diagnosis. When I was diagnosed I felt a great sense of relief and acceptance that this explained a lot of things. I am trying, and sometimes succeeding, to use the understanding that it provides to reduce my problems dealing with the world at large,

What do you do at work? Perhaps you can get some more "reasonable adjustments" that can be designed to make your work time more comfortable and rewarding.

Sez said:

Do people with austium have a lot of diffuculty with sleeping and not wanting to eat much despite feeling hunger pains and being hungry but not wanting to eat despite that - my GP has says it is just stress but I just don't know I wish I did know and it is affecting my every day live as everyone's needs enough food and drink each day in order to be happy and to get through the day okay.

Sleep is a common issue for us - stress and diet are among the things that mess this up

see community.autism.org.uk/.../sleep-tips-adults

Food is also a common issue and ASD sufferers have a range of issues from fussy eating through to anorexia. Some of us are intolerant of a number of foods and my belief is that this leads to anxieties about food as sometimes it is just too distasteful. It is entirely possible however to work thourgh this and work out what you like or tolerate and which foods agree with you and which don't.

I looked through your other posts and saw the mention of BPD. It is conceivable that a diagnosis of ASD may displace the BPD - you need to discuss this with your CMHT team though - I am not a doctor!

One last question: are you male or female? male ASD sufferers show diferent behaviours to females and we might be able to suggest more particular ideas if we know which you are.

Hi Sez, I am undiagnosed in my 60s. My chmt think I am well enough to cope alone and don't need help right now, so I gave up on diagnosis. 

The lovely people here help me with any problems I have.

Perhaps your eating issues are as a result of low mood or anxiety. I would suggest that you make yourself eat sufficient food, to maintain health. Things may spiral down hill if you don't. I personally go the other way and eat too much. 

Re sleeping, I posted something on "sleep and restlessness" yesterday. It is a major problem for me, a mixture of anxiety and sensitivity to food additives. You may find it helpful.

Re people, you may have social overload after work, so prefer to be alone. Do you live alone? We all benefit from some company.

The CHMT ( community mental health team ) i am under there care and they said they are sending a refferel to sabp diagontic team so they can asses me and i will find out then I am still really scared and I don't exactly really want to find out that I do have austium I don't get it as still living at home but my mum gets DLA for me and she is meant to use it to help me with things but she doesn't at all I have to use my own money to help myself do things which isn't good at all. 

I see my gp every couple of months but that is only for 10 minutes so it isn't really that helpful much at all. 

I don't understand how I can score such a high score of having austium I am 25 now and it has never been diagonsed or even suggested in my childhood. 

Do people with austium have a lot of diffuculty with sleeping and not wanting to eat much despite feeling hunger pains and being hungry but not wanting to eat despite that - my GP has says it is just stress but I just don't know I wish I did know and it is affecting my every day live as everyone's needs enough food and drink each day in order to be happy and to get through the day okay. 

I am very shy with people who I don't know and I tend to keep myself to myself if I can althoigh that isn't really possible much because I am working full time and I have weekends off I don't have any friends at all and I don't go out to socialise with other people who I don't know I could get to know new people and perhaps try and make done froefss but I just don't want to. 

Sorry Abour the way long post and thank you in advance to everyone who responds to my messages on here to my post much appreciated finding this site helpful. 

Thanks 

One of the points of these scores is that they are so far from the non-autistic average scores of 11-21 that they are very strongly suggestive of ASD if you score over 32.