Hidden identities

profdanger said:

However again, even though it’s been proven there are wonderful, empathetic people on this forum, even among Autists there are horrible human beings. You are making a risk sharing personal information even with someone via private chats if you do not absolutely know who they are.

That can take its toll too.

When I was previously here I had friends and the conversations would at times make me very anxious indeed.

Some of the occurrences whilst having friends here include self-harm and death.

Also, I found it hard to always be available for others no matter how much I cared.

I think now that having friendships on the forum is a very big decision to make and one that I've decided against because of previous experiences.

Much of the sadness will always be with me as will some of the joy.

ps. I would never leave my PMs open to everyone (ie I would only open them up to friends), as I know of one person who did that and was besieged by abuse.

profdanger said:

she unfortunately had absolutely zero filter about her private life. It is likely the most extensive example of bullying imaginable, but while it’s easy to feel sorry for her on the surface, the more you dig into the details you are likely to realize that she has had so many opportunities to stop opening herself to abuse on the internet.

I think that illustrates why NAS probably has gone for a blanket ban.

If we are given a choice it might be a choice that leads to self harm.

I am still a little ambiguous about this but am leaning towards NAS's stance on this.

I'm sitting beside you this one B, for all that I share a lot about myself, I'm a very private person and I never say anything on here that I wouldn't be happy saying in any public space. I think my fear would be that as I'm not on any social media than here I wouldn't want stuff about me shared and discussed on other platforms that I don't know about. My family are aware of my feelings and don't tag me in anything, not that there are many photo's or anything of me because I hate being photographed so much.

Whilst I wish there was more space for conversations of interest to some of us, but get removed due to others finding it offensive or maybe causing harm, I do get that its a difficult boundary to make and all of us are vulnerable at certain times and about certain things. I do like that there's not the horribleness that infects so many sites and so much public discourse. I think the real answer is more ways to stop the armchair trolls, warriors and selfish nasty people from ruining it for everyone else.

So if you really are interested in opening up more about your private life to other Autistics online, we do have direct messaging on this forum. I’ve heard the mods have the ability to monitor DMs, but they’re unlikely to unless a user were to allege misuse of the service (such as someone harassing you through messages). Doing that would allow you to be “fully yourself,” yet also a bit safer.

However again, even though it’s been proven there are wonderful, empathetic people on this forum, even among Autists there are horrible human beings. You are making a risk sharing personal information even with someone via private chats if you do not absolutely know who they are.

For all you know, I could be a hacker that is posing as an innocent Autist to target vulnerable folk for identity theft. Yeah, my bio says I’m a 35 year old former professor in America, but do I have to tell the truth about that?

B said:

Seeing the awful things that some public figures are subjected to on social media I personally would be anxious to reveal my identity.

I do not recommend looking this up, but an infamous Autistic internet icon by the name of Chris-Chan had practically her entire life documented from the mid-2000s up until her recent prison stint and she unfortunately had absolutely zero filter about her private life. It is likely the most extensive example of bullying imaginable, but while it’s easy to feel sorry for her on the surface, the more you dig into the details you are likely to realize that she has had so many opportunities to stop opening herself to abuse on the internet. (Also, she made garbage life choices that can only be partially blamed on internet trolls)

With that in mind, I HIGHLY recommend never revealing personal information on the open internet. Even if you are a content creator, use a pseudonym. That way even if you do become a target of bullying, at least internet trolls can’t drop in on your public outings like they did to Chris-Chan.

I think if we are classed as vulnerable then this forum should be private. It doesn't make sense (to me anyway) to have to mask in order to protect myself from random people on the internet when I have signed up to a community specifically aiming to provide a safe space for fellow ND folk. 

Alexa said:

I didn't know there rules about such things.

It's under 'staying anonymous' here:

https://community.autism.org.uk/p/communityfaqs#mcetoc_1jaebhgj74

and 'Rule 2' here:

  (Missing Page) 

For some reason that link doesn't work but it's the drop down from the top banner 'Community Rules'.

'Rule 2: No personal information or identifiable content 
As the Online Community is public, do not share personal or identifying details about yourself or anyone else. This includes full names, addresses, contact details, social media profiles, or identifiable photos. Links to social media posts or videos are allowed if relevant and in compliance with these rules.' 

ieva said:

it bugs me that I'm not allowed to use my real name and photo

I don't understand. Alexa is my real name. I've never been asked to change it. I can't comment about using my photo because I never do; in fact, I'm not sure I have a photo of me other than the one I took for my driving licence. 

I didn't know there rules about such things.

Spot on, it should be optional, not as a blanket rule in one or another way ...

I take your point but some of the reasoning may be that this isn't a closed forum ie it can be read by anyone whether a member or not.

I think we are seen as vulnerable. 

I wonder whether it's easier for NAS to have a blanket rule so that the most vulnerable amongst us are protected.

Seeing the awful things that some public figures are subjected to on social media I personally would be anxious to reveal my identity. 

As you say though it might be best being optional.

I think I sit on the fence on this.