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Feeling abit "lost" after diagnosis

NinjaPanda85

Hi all,

Got diagnoised with Autism nearly 2 weeks ago (male 41 years old), waiting for the diagnostic report to get to me and Doctors in about a months time. 

Just feeling abit "lost" in terms of next steps and hope best to progress post diagnosis. I have done some basic research on Autism, but theres so much information out there (im aware not all good oreliable) it can feel overwhelming just thinking about looking into it more.  My diagnosis was validation of lifelong difficulties that did not fit another catergory(or the fact i never really fit in periodRofl) but also came with some sadness that it was not picked up on sooner and thus perhaps missing out on some better support and understanding. 

Its been a big year for me with medical retirement(not my choice) from a 16 year career i loved but couldnt do anymore as it was making me  ill and making existing conditions worse. Combined with my autism diagnosis, feels like a big year.

So currently im 41, retired but trying to find suitable work to help me recover from everything , whilst feeling like my world is flipped over to an extent. Also trying to figure out what my autism diagnosis means for work prospects and reasonable adjustments.

Suppose i am just trying to find my way again.

Sorry for the vent, thanks to those taking the time to read.

  • Hi and welcome.Hugging

    It might take time to find your way again but it sounds like you’re on the right path, you've found this place and that is a good start.

    Hope you stick around and chat with us.

  • in reply to SilmarilCritter
    • Thank you. Love your dragon avatar reminds me of the inheritance cycle booksSlight smile

  • Hi there, I'm 38f and was diagnosed earlier this year. I'm still very much trying to work out how I feel about the diagnosis and what to do going forward so you're not alone!

  • Welcome to the club!  My diagnosis was a little over a month ago, at the age of 69, so I understand a little of where you are now.  It's far too early in my journey to be able to offer anything constructive to help you, but I do wish you well as you get to understand yourself now.  Since my diagnosis, like you, I have been reading and learning more about autism and slowly understanding a little about what it means for me and how my life so far has been affected by it. 

    I can say that I am not sad at the way things have been, except that it would have perhaps been easier if I had known earlier.  This new place I am in (new in the sense that it is definitive now) is interesting and a little calmer in my head, as understanding helps when things get difficult.  As you say, so much of what you find on the internet is of questionable value, but the two things I have picked up on so far are that we are all different and we are all valid!  Take your time as you settle into your own unique 'normal', and good luck.

  • Hi  , thank you for sharing with the online community. It’s natural to feel this way after such a big year of changes in your life. You mention some basic research on autism, so I thought you may find it useful to have a look at our diagnosis hub. This includes information, practical and multimedia resources to support autistic people and their families before, during and after diagnosis.

    In terms of employment, when you’re ready you may find it helpful to have a read of the following. We have information and advice on applying for a job, tips for interacting and coping at work, advice on dealing with bullying in the workplace and what the law says about your rights at work: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/employment.

    You can also find our free online ‘Finding Employment’ module on our website: https://www.autismonlinetraining.com/. This module is designed to help autistic job seekers entering the job market understand their strengths and what next steps they could take towards gaining meaningful employment or work. 

    Evenbreak matches disabled job seekers with employers to build a diverse workforce. You can visit the Evenbreak website for listed job vacancies: https://www.evenbreak.co.uk/.

    The British Association of Supported Employment has a database of supported employment agencies, so you can search for one in your local area: https://www.base-uk.org/home.

    Maximus offer a range of employability programmes throughout the UK, including, programmes for disabled people who are struggling to find work: https://www.maximusuk.co.uk/.

    The National Autistic Society employment and volunteering opportunities are updated frequently. We particularly welcome applications from autistic people.

    I hope these are useful.

    Best wishes,

    Anna Mod

  • I was 50 when diagnosed, so I get why you're feeling unsettled and a bit at sea. I think many of us latelings as we call oursleves to differentiatate ourselves from those diagnosed earlier in life, wonder why we weren't picked up earlier when it seems so obvious now. I think people are just far more aware of autism now than they were even 15 years ago and realising that it dosen't just happen in childhood and its not something you grow out of either.

    I think the best thing I can suggest is that you just sit with this new knowlege about yourself for a while, weeks, months, years if needed, don't beat yourself up if emotions come up and you feel hurt by old memories, it's just that now you're looking at your life again with an autistic lens. Talk to people, professionals friends or family, whoever feels safest about how you're feeling. If you feel a bit raw then be careful who you tell, its up to you, you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, or you may chose to be totally out with it, like I did and do.

    Allow yourself to grieve for the career you've had to give up and the struggles you've had in life, it's normal and I think we all feel it.

    You've made a good start, you're here, among others like yourself, and we're all different, with different skills, likes, dislikes and things that excite us and give us the ick. Most of the time everyones tame and don't have a go at each other, unless like me you admit to liking cold potato, gherkin and mayo sandwiches, lol.