Confused and frightened

Thank you so much, I clicked the link you gave me and found it. Reading the services and events they run it seems its more geared to residential patients, children , youth and parents and carers but they had a contact form so I completed it and advised them that I am a newly diagnosed adult and enquiring about adult services so I guess I now wait to hear back from them......thank you so much for helping me out, you are very kind and helpful and I really appreciate all your support-thank you. I wish I could find some friends as kind as you and taking these steps makes me feel that I might be getting closer to that. Thank you very much.

My employers found out about it and pointed me in the right direction - apparently the doctors should have been aware of it and put me in touch.

If I were you I would contact www.autismsussex.org.uk/.../Home and ask them what they can do to help you.

It seems that the provision is different in each NHS trust area.

Sorry, I've been offline for a week Or so. Thank you for sharing all that news. I'm going to take the first step and see if there is such a support service here in Sussex. I think that sort of thing wud help me. I'd love to learn more about my diagnosis to understand it better and especially learn about things I cud do to make me feel better and cope better. Sometimes I have really bad days when things just seem to overwhelm me way too much and leave me so exhausted and in a crying frightened insecure state. Which I want to move on from because it always leaves me feeling disappointed in myself.

can I ask how you went about to find it your area? Are they in yellow pages or how/where did you search on the Internet?

Thank you.

Yes, I can relate to 'uphill weeks' . I also love cats ... they're so calming, graceful and have great attitudes!

It was an uphill week! I had an "i don't like Mondays" Monday but Friday was definitely a better day.

:-)

... the way you described your positive day is lovely! Especially listening to the rain, I love that too

Just attended at the local adult Autism Support Service. I have to say that I am quite impressed! They provide 1-2-1 counselling, and group sessions, for people diagnosed with autism. They have promised to sign me on to a course for people who have been recently diagnosed. I am also going to have a 1-2-1 session to discuss an employment problem that I have. They said that they may well be able to liaise with my work to helkp work out what reasonable adjustments can be made.

It is run by the local NHS mental health trust. I am guessing that this type of service is available right across the UK but you would have to check in your area.

I had to go down and have an initial interview session before they would take me on to the courses but the guy that did it was dedicated to working with autistic/aspie people and nothing else. They do seem to understand what its all about and there were a few other 'clients' there. Everyone was very quiet and friendly.

C&F: I think you should definitely look into this.

:-)

Thank you

i don't think there are any other people in my office with autism. I haven't noticed if there is. I'm not even sure what adaptions would help me the most. What did you find that has made the biggest difference for you? I'm still all new to this and I keep thinking the suggestions I come up with just sound like me being picky. Like i hate sitting back to our office door- it spooks me out whenever i hear noises behind me but i know orhers hate sitting there too. I don't want to make enemies of my colleagues.

Good luck with next Friday. Do let me know how it goes, i should look for something like that but I'm not sure i am ready yet, i just I find appointments with people difficult. I know I need to find the bravery in me somewhere but I just don't have it yet.

acountancy is a good career for someone with Aspergers as we can be good at detail and numbers. The environment should be ok, i doubt that you were working in a rowdy call centre type environment!

Your employers should be capable of adapting to some reasonable adjustments. My work were capable and willing but they didn't have any experience of having an officially aspie employee even though i am not the only aspie one there. I've had to work out what i need and i've negotiated some changes with the help of HR.

I've just discovered that there is an nhs adult autism support centre near me. They promise assistance to people who have just been diagnosed. I have an appointment to see them next Friday so i shall see if they are any use. Perhaps there is something near you?

Thank you for sharing your story with me- it reminds me that I am not alone in the struggles I face, and that good can turn out after bad- thank you. You help make me feel more positive in returning to work. Yes, I do want to return to work, I was an accountant.  I think I am ready to start looking at going bstray they wrote to me asking if they can contact my doctor which I agreed to so they will know the autism diagnosespans I guess they will know what to do to make things easier for me to return or so I hope. I don't know how that will all pan out. As long as it doesn't all happen too quickly and overwhelm me then I think I could do My job again.

I think i have gone through a similar process. My work were trying to confront my poor behaviour so they were winding up the pressure and i cracked and went to the doctors in tears.

in hindsight my poor behaviour was all due to my problems with communication because i have Aspergers. Their management process was to demand that i improve and i simply couldn't and i ended up screaming at our hr lady. I was able to walk out of the office though so the ambulance wasn't necessary! The pressure had been building for the last year and i was getting very stressed and depressed and i wasn't doing a good job at the end of it.

i already suspected that i had Asperger's so when i went to the gp i didn't ask for the stress and depression to be treated, i just asked for a referral which ended up with my suspicions being confirmed. No meds were involved as i don't think i got so far past breaking point as you.

my work are now being much better and understanding as they have to treat me differently as i have the diagnosis and it is covered by the equality act. I'm a programmer so it seems to be quite common amongst us. Now that I understand more about the condition i am enjoying the work again and work is now happy place for me (with some adjustments)

do you want to go back to work? What sort of work did you do? now that you know you have ASD, do you think it was a good job for you?

Pleased to hear you have found some stability and contentment.

I don't have adhd(from what I read about it) and I don't think I have depression. I think I am a quietly happy person, I wake up optimistic and happy that it could be a good day, I throw open my windows to hear the birds and look down at the garden and I can't wait to get outside. I like to go for walks and collect nuts and fruits and then find reciepies that I could make. I grow veggies and talk to my plants and then have tea with the neighbouring cat. If it raining I love to sit by the window listening to the rain coz I find it beautiful and I do a lot of jigsaws. When my days are planned and structured and work out okay then I go to bed happy.

 I didn't know about the autism thing before and so yes, I handed things badley and things got very out of control. I don't want to give too much useless information but you are right about the breakdown. I don't think I realised how bad things were getting- I couldn't sleep which made things worse and I was going a bit crazy, okay, maybe very crazy, I got paranoid, accused the lady in HR of trying to make me commit suiside and I kept turning back up at work even though they kept sending me home- they eventually called the ambulance.

I pretty much agree with outraged that it best to avoid medication if it can sensibly be avoided. I'm not on medication either and I think your approach of small steps is sound. The problem comes when we have other issues like adhd that can sometimes benefit from medication. Adhd is not part of the autism but it is more common in us than others. If you have adhd and you benefit from the meds then you might be happy to continue.

another possible reason to take meds is if you have depression. Again, this would not be part of your autism but it might arise from the autism not being understood or managed properly by you.

did you have a breakdown that caused you to end up in hospital? 

I'm not, and would refuse mediction. I also personally know of no other medicated Aspie. 

Are most people with autism not on any medication then? I would like to get off them and as you said learn better ways to deal with my fears and anxieties. I can usually manage most things by taking small gradual steps in the right direction.

I just read the wikis for these medicines. They are indicated for topical relief of anxiety and tension as arising in your case from your ASV and as anti-depressants. I see why they were perscribed given that you were having strong difficulties with anxiety but I personally think long term reliance to be inappropriate as it is only symptom relief and does nothing to adress the underlying cause (sensory and social perception issues).Better, surely, to work on coping strategies than to accept medication to this degree (or at all).

Also it concerns me that, by perscribing this battery of medicines, they reveal that they percieve your anxiety to be mental illness whereas in fact anxiety is an appropriate response to living in a hostile and confusing world where your social software is not fit for purpose.

I am on quetiapine, progabalin, clonazepam and venlafaxine. Does no one else here take such medicines?

I don't know why I was prescribed the tablets I am on as I was very very  anxious when I was admitted and didn't look at, let alone talk to anyone and stayed hidden in my bed in theclosed  room for the first three weeks I was there.  I don't remember anyone talking to me about medication- it was just given to me and the nurse didn't leave my room until I took it. I was too frightened to ask why or what.  I'm still too frightened to ask. I don't want to be told I have some other problem. The care coordinator that I once had only ever mentioned "the autism diagnoses" which shocked me then coz I didn't know what it was- i always thought i was just weird and stupid. Since then I went online to read stuff and was surprised to relate to it.

Thank you (friendly green dinosaur)