Funny Old World and how people are?

Most people are to busy face down in thier phones to notice what their dog or child's doing, many of them don't look before crossing a road either.

I am sorry this has affected a relaxing pastime and your dog. It is a sad thing these days that some people have no consideration of others. I don't have a dog, but have twice received injuries when walking from dogs not on leads and inattentive owners. This has made me wary of dogs until I am sure they are safe. I will often divert my route if I see dogs off leads, unless I can see they are walking close to owners.

I think it is a common problem I could have all the signs in the world, but it will make no jot of difference if the other dog owners ignore them.

TheCatWoman said:

do ND's do this as well as NT's

Oh, definitely yes. especially where there is stress, like workplace or competitive environments.

TheCatWoman said:

nervous around other dogs and humans

This must be commonplace because there's a specialist shop for nervous dog signs. 

Going off on a different but related topic, the tourists are here. I've had another couple of run in's with other dog walkers since last weeks fall, which I've still not recovered from.

I'm running out of "safe" places to walk again. It's horrible watching Fearn grow from a loving and confident puppy into a dog who's nervous around other dogs and humans, despite everything I do to reassure her it's all OK. When she's gone, which hopefully won't be for a few years yet, I won't get another dog other people have taken all the pleasure out of it and it's just becoming overwhelmingly stressful, I'm thinking of taking her to a psychologist, but from what I've seen on tv programs and stuff I'm doing everything right.

Roy said:

the trip had been arranged without me

That was nasty but I find there is at least one heartless person in any group. I also find it hard to avoid them, having had useless parenting and being isolated from junior school onwards. But remember this is THEIR problem, not yours. And boo to the rest for not sticking up for you.

Roy said:

I’m just happy being on my own, I’m free to research what I want, it’s quite strange, I feel more connection with objects than people.

I worked with people over decades, including 20 years as an NHS professional, so I want time for myself in my evening years. Like Roy  I'm happy alone, an occasional autism social group and chatting on here at my leisure. I chat to supermarket checkout operatures and library assistants, and find this enough to feel part of life without taking an active role. Oh, yes, I do moan to MP's or firms - sometimes getting positive responses. 

I've had that happen to me too Roy, it is upsetting.

I always wonder at people who have life long friendships too, how do they sustain them? It's the same with people who've been married for years. I know so few people now, when I was young I was always bumping into people I knew, my ex husband once complained that we couldn't go anywhere without me seeing someone I knew. But most of these people were aquaintances rather than friends.

I had to have a big rethink about the way I choose friends about 20 years ago, as I realised I'd somehow got into the habit of becoming friends with people who really weren't good for me and didn't have my best interests at heart. Since then I've had very few friends and very few close ones and I actually like it that way, the only thing I miss is people to cook for. I've never liked going out in groups, I've always felt like an outsider, never in on the "in" jokes, always the one who says, no to going to certain restaurants because of allergies etc, the one who can't go for a swim or a bike ride. I've always been ok not to do these things and for them to go ahead without me, but they're not ok with it and I don't understand that at all.

It's horrible that our animal friends don't live as long as us.

I find the complexities of other humans interesting too, as long as I'm not in the middle of it

I’ve had similar experiences with male friends, I seem to have people come into my life and then they’re gone. I know of  people who have life long friends, I’ve never had this, I think some friendships want more than I can offer.

There seems to be unwritten rules within groups that I wasn’t given the rules for.

I used to go to the village pub, there was a group of men all about my age who were friends, I sort of knew I wasn’t in the centre of the group, but thought I was sort of liked.

There was talk of a trip to the cinema and a curry, I didn’t hear anything else about it, I pulled into the car park one evening,  just as they all came out and got into taxis, one person was smirking, the trip had been arranged without me. That really hurt me, the more I thought about it, the more I realised it had always been like this, right back to school. 

My wife often moans at me for not wanting or trying to make friendships, I’m just happy being on my own, I’m free to research what I want, it’s quite strange, I feel more connection with objects than people. I spend more time with my Jack Russell than I do people, unfortunately he is 17, I just wish he could have a longer lifespan.

TheCatWoman said:

I think I'll stick with my animal friends, they're much less complicated.

I have sympathy with this, TheCatWoman , and yet I find the complexities of people fascinating, so I spend time with folk before coming back home to rest. The situation you describe is one I have experienced too and Marianne72 offers good insight into what is going on. Human friendship is a challenge for many of us autistic people, and this can really hurt. Take care and be kind to yourself - and I wish you more constant friends.

There is no group anymore, as I said everyone else has either moved and one fell out with us, but she was always a bit problematic, a very jealous sort of person, the sort of person that if we were all back in the playground wouldn't have let "her" best friend speak to anyone else.

I know it's not me, it just seems a strange way to behave, do ND's do this as well as NT's?

I've experienced this too. I think this is about sexual fear - that you might be more attractive to the partner, thus fear of being deserted by their beloved. When people couple up, they often want to be alone in love - friends at this time not important to them. It's not you but a natural happening.

The thing about people falling out within a group - I've done this too. We are all quirky as humans; you never know what's going on inside someone else's head. It may be something bad they don't want to share, to be alone for a while, they've been hurt/ let down by someone or an event has misfired. In any case, it's better to continue meeting those in your group and keep doing activities - new people will no doubt join the group.