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Confusion around sexuality

AM

I wasn’t sure what thread to put this under as I haven’t used the website on here in a while. I’ve been questioning my sexuality, I’m a  21 year old female and i haven’t dated properly but i find myself drawn to the same sex.

The problem is I can’t tell if I’m attracted to the opposite sex or due to the fact it’s difficult for me to identity what emotions I’m feeling, i just convince myself i am. 

I am not so sure how to approach this issue.

Parents

  • I think if I were a young person in todays world I'd feel confused too, not just about what I feel, or who, but about the expectations of the people around me. When I was younger, a child and teenager, I was often told I was to big to be a proper girl, that I was big enough to be a boy. What they meant was I'm tall and always was and am. When guys I fancied said stuff like this, it was confusing and alienating, oe even told me that I must be a lesbian because he didn't fancy me and he fancied women! I wonder if I would of just retreated in confusion or if I would have started questioning both my orientation and my gender.

    How does it feel if you fantasise about a woman or a man, touching them, being touched by them? This could be a way of exploring if you're attracted one one or both genders or neither.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Well said about the upbringing thing Clap it is very confusing in this modern world. Stereotypes and projections and expectations of gender roles and identities …. Exhausting. 

  • in reply to InterTrails

    Oh thank you, I was half expecting to be shouted down for that post. I'm 63 and have moved past wnting a relationship or thinking I ought to have one. As you get older peoples expectatins change and one of the things I found totally mind blowing and not in a good way, was finding myself newly single in my mid thirties then again in my forties was how many people thought I was going to come down with late onset lesbianism! There was almost an expectation that since I'd had kids, my whole sexual orientation would change, men would feel almost duty bound to offer to save me from myself, I didn't need saving from myself but them!

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yeah it’s funny isn’t it if you’re not the sort of person to conform to having your nails done or crying over one of them being chipped. Suddenly you’re not conforming to majority …. And being labelled that way certainly has an impact on you, yourself growing up and questioning am I really different? Maybe I am a lesbian? I think if there hasn’t been already there needs to be a big push on women being women for climbing trees, for using there intelligence for not going partying in stupid tiny clothes and strappy heels in minus temperatures 

    *not saying these things define you as a lesbian or not - more the definition of femininity and stereotyping 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yeah it’s funny isn’t it if you’re not the sort of person to conform to having your nails done or crying over one of them being chipped. Suddenly you’re not conforming to majority …. And being labelled that way certainly has an impact on you, yourself growing up and questioning am I really different? Maybe I am a lesbian? I think if there hasn’t been already there needs to be a big push on women being women for climbing trees, for using there intelligence for not going partying in stupid tiny clothes and strappy heels in minus temperatures 

    *not saying these things define you as a lesbian or not - more the definition of femininity and stereotyping 

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