Christmas cracker jokes!

What do you get when you cross Nineties Trance with The Joker?

Robert Smiles!

What does Amy Winehouse have for Christmas?

Cold turkey!

How do you annoy Lady Gaga?

Poke her Face!

Not really a joke, but amusing and cute:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Mary

Mary who?

Mary Christmas everyone!

Now You're just jockeying around.

All this horseplay is getting out of hoof.

Barman says to the horse (which is white) - " funny, you know this pub is named after you!"

horse replies: "what, Jeremy?"

If we are making them up as we go along:

A horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'hay'!

I've got another to carry on this little trend;

A mare walks into the bar

The barman says "I haven't seen you before. You from around these parts?"

The mare replies:

"Neigh."

*badum-tss!*

That made me laugh out loud!

NAS64242 said:

Boom boom

m.youtube.com/watch

Excellent.

You just gave me inspiration for a new joke!

A donkey walks into the bar and asks for a drink.

The barman says “Sorry, I can't hear you mate..”,

and the donkey replies:

“That's because I'm a little hoarse”

Boom boom

What do you call a fake pasta? 

An impasta

A horse walked into a bar and the barman said: 'why the long face'?

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear 

My colleague gave me this 'cracker-level' joke years ago - bananas are a waste of time; by the time you've skinned them and taken out the bone,  there's nothing left.

Oh, god, those are some really corny ones! Haha!

Great idea jamesmac!

I saw these (and more) on an Aussie TV show comp for "Best Dad jokes"

"I told my wife that I was going to build a car made out of spaghetti.... She only believed me when I drove pasta."

“What did the hamburger say to his parents when he introduced his girlfriend?  hi mum, hi dad Meet Patty”

Boom boom. It's the way you tell 'em.

Enjoy, Happy Xmas and Chanukah

Skeleton walks into a bar says I’ll have a pint of whisky and a mop.