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34 and newly diagnosed

Gems91

Hi my name is gemma I live in the west Midlands and ive just been diagnosed with autism at the age of 34

I am single parent to a 11 year old son who also has autism and adhd. Since my assessment i have been struggling to come to terms with this exam tho I knew I was autistic. I feel like ive become more closed off and gone in on myself the past month or so. Any advice ? Thankyou 

  • in reply to profdanger

    Hi thankyou so much. I think because ive been officially told now I'm more self conscious im hoping this fade abit in time. 

  • Good morning from America, Gemma!

    I’m 34 as well and have a daughter (C, age 7) with ASD/ADHD.

    What you’re describing isn’t unusual from what I’ve read on here. A lot of people feel empty and/or feel as though the symptoms of the condition get worse after diagnosis. One thing that could potentially help (though it’s not for everyone) is counseling or therapy with someone specializing in Autism.

  • Hi Gemma, welcome!

    Me and my son (11) also just got diagnosed (though I have a hsuband and daughter too), and yeah I can totally relate to what you are expressing.  I think being so aware of your traits suddenly makes you feel really self conscious of it and can make masking it like you might have been previously suddenly a lot harder. 

    Do you have any support from family? My husband's been my support and is trying to understand it all as we work out what is best for us. I feel for you if you are a single parent going through this.

    It feels very weird to suddenly be given a 'life long' disability, when at times I feel completely fine. But then I remember the times i am not fine, and it helps me remember why I went through the process. It also helps me relate to my son (and daughter as I think she is too), so it's good as a way to talk and explain. And also to compare our difficulties, as by being a little more open with the things I find difficult, they can feel less weird about their own quirks.  

    Although I find talking out loud about it difficult, chatting on the forum helps me relate to others. The report feels so negative about the things I am not good at (including stuff I didn't know I wasn't typical at), it can be hard at times.

    Have you read any books about it? That helps too.